A to Z of the 80s - W is for Everything Then

Which Is Everything Now

by Jo Michelmore

Only four more letters and the 80s will be done. Four more letters and the last thirty years, obviously. Pretty sure X is going to stand for every song I love but haven't been able to fit in yet. We'll deal with that next week. For now, W and everything it stood for then which includes everything it influences now. And some dinosaurs. No, not Madonna. That was 10 letters ago. 

Was Not Was were walking dinosaurs long before Tkay stomped like a brontosaurus. But keep in mind WNW were responsible for songs not long after dinosaurs became extinct. Double points for band and song name both starting with W. Thank you.

Jason Derulo was clearly inspired by Wang Chung who not only referenced themselves in songs but considered themselves a verb. You can Jason Derulo all you want but I'd rather Wang Chung tonight. I think?

Wham were dancing badly long before Taylor Swift made it cool. Taylor Swift didn't make it cool.

 

Meanwhile, Nicki Minaj's anthem was written 33 years before she complained about all the VMA's she won't win. Clearly, it isn't fair. It never has been Nicki. Get over it.  

10 and 1 - My Anaconda Don't Want None Unless You Got Bad Blood

Things that are totally worth fighting about... VMA nominations.

SOME VIDEOS FOR MTV'S CONSIDERATION...

by Matt Bond

Do you like that snazzy title I came up with? I sure hope no one else has thought of it. I even Googled it to make sure no one has. Snazzy, right? Anyway, because I'm hip to what the kids are jiving to these days, I hear that Nicki Minaj has 'beef' with her lack of 'nomm-age' in the category for Video Of The Year at the upcoming MTV Video Music Awards. 

History lesson... MTV stands for Music TeleVision. It's a channel on the TV box that used to be like I am, hip to what the kids are jiving to, and once upon a time played only music and shows that featured animated characters making fun of music. Now it has shows like the Scream series no one wanted and some reality shows about teen mums or something. I don't really know. They also bust out the Video Music Awards once a year to pretend they still care about music. In the past, the VMA's honoured iconic clips like Sinead O'Connor's 'Nothing Compares 2 U', The Smashing Pumpkins' 'Tonight Tonight' and Lauryn Hill's 'Doo Wop (That Thing)' with the title of Video of the Year. More recently, winners have included Beyonce's 'Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)', Rihanna's 'We Found Love' and Lady Gaga's 'Bad Romance'. 

This year's ceremony promises to be a delight, with Miley Cyrus hosting and the Video of the Year category being contested by Beyonce's '7-11', Kendrick Lamar's 'Alright', Mark Ronson's 'Uptown Funk', Ed Sheeran's 'Thinking Out Loud' and T-baby Swift's 'Bad Blood'. Notably absent, in the mind of the artist, is Nicki Minaj's 'Anaconda'. A video that features one of my favourite YouTube comments of all time... "This porn has an intriguing soundtrack." Minaj busted out some commentary on her influence on pop culture that you can catch up on ANYWHERE if you haven't already and really, you can't argue with it. 'Anaconda' is one of the most viewed clips of all time on YouTube and it showed everyone what twerking is supposed to be. Truly impressive booty shaking to be viewed right there. Miley, take note. 

Minaj made comments about gals of a more slender frame getting nominated and not her, which brought Tay to her yard with her usual GIRRL POWER enthusiasm and then Nicki was like, "bitch, did I name you?! Naw." And then a highly confident Swifty was all like, "Lolz, luv you bae, you wanna come on stage with me when I win?" And then Taylor was out of there while Minaj went on a bit of a tangent. I guess it would be hard for Taylor not to be thinking it was directed at her personally. None of the other videos were jam-packed with gals of a more slender frame, were they? I'm trying to be so PC here, give me points for that. Nicki would go on to talk about Ellen and Beyonce loving her video, how she thought the 'Feeling Myself' collab-video with her and Beyonce should be nominated too and that people hate Tidal and love Taylor for taking her music off Spotify. I'm sorry, I think I'm over how lame this is now. The only question we need to ask is... Is the video for 'Anaconda' of a high enough quality to be nominated for 'Video of the Year'. In my humble opinion, it is not. Nicki Minaj is beautiful and much more talented than what 'Anaconda' would suggest. Her 'Pinkprint Movie' was actually impressive and beautifully shot. The video for 'Anaconda' was painfully average, much like the song.

So... you're waiting for me to get to the '10 and 1' part of my rambling and here it comes. Ten videos that deserve to be nominated for 'Video Of The Year' at this year's VMA's instead of 'Anaconda'. And if you want to put yourself through it one more time... You've figured out what the one is, right? 

THE TEN:

THE NEW INTERNATIONAL SOUND PT. II

by GENER8ION + M.I.A

WHAT KIND OF MAN

by Florence + The Machine





GEORGIA
by Vance Joy 

PEDESTRIAN AT BEST

by Courtney Barnett





LIONSONG
by Bjork





DOWN TO EARTH
by Flight Facilities 
 




BITCH BETTER HAVE MY MONEY
by Rihanna





BLANK SPACE
by Taylor Swift

Because it's way better than 'Bad Blood'. 

RADIOFACE

by Gang of Youths

 THE PINKPRINT MOVIE

by Nicki Minaj

THE ONE:

ANACONDA

by Nicki Minaj

Art.

A to Z of the 80s - A is for All About That Hair

All About That Hair

by Jo Michelmore

Welcome back dear readers, to the second edition of what has now become the famous IMKOS A to Z (famous is relative). This time we're looking at everyones favourite decade whether you were there or not; the decade of decadence, synthesisers, rubix cubes, plastic jewellery, Frankie says, large shoulders, break dancing, MTV, Magnum PI, neon, Fido Dido, hypercolour, Care Bears and Gremlins...there's so much about it to love.


Welcome friends, to the 1980s.


Let's start the next 26 weeks with something that epitomises the 80s, because if there's one thing about the 80s, they were big and so was the hair, so take your bass straight back to where you found it Ms Trainor, A is for All About That Hair.


You wanna talk about hair? The 80s inspired an entire genre of music based on hair. The bygone glamorous era of big hair bands. Ask anyone who was there who was the best and you'll get a whole bunch of names; Def Leppard, Skid Row, Bon Jovi...the list goes on but my personal fave? Poison. There's some serious hairspray in that band.

You think they're irrelevant now? Don't be fooled, we all know Iggy Azalea is only one comb away from that big hair. And while she's pretending she's all fancy, we know she just wants nothin' but a good time.

Poor ol' Whitney (RIP) may have gone through a few phases in that career of hers, but she reached the height of heights (literally?) in the late 80s with some curls and at least a can of hairspray on her head. Maybe a can of mousse too. 

You think she's kind of irrelevant now? Don't be fooled. Every pop star in the world wishes they were a teeny bit more Whitney and Nicki Minaj is only a step away from a can of hairspray with those curls of hers. One more tease, add a touch of the mullet and bam, don't you wanna dance say you wanna dance don't you wanna dance.

Madonna needs to stop queen of pop's early 80s arch-nemesis Cyndi Lauper liked to mix it up a little. Colour it and shave it, then add the can of hairspray.

Cyndi didn't win the queen of pop title, but at least she doesn't get the 'needs to stop' added to the front of her name (thank you editor for my new way to refer to Madonna forevermore) but don't be fooled, Cyndi's influence is simply much more subtle than Madonna's. Skrillex may have taken her hair but it's actually his ex-girlfriend Ellie Goulding who learnt from Cyndi. After all, even with Cyndi's hair, Ellie knew Skrillex was a douche and girls just wanna have fun (etc).

Sweden has always been responsible for funny little trends. You know, like IKEA and Lykke Li and sandwich cakes, those funny little meatballs and that left leaning government...er, wait...in the 80s Sweden was all about short hair, a can of hairspray and Roxette.

It was the late 80s so the length was shortened, but don't be fooled, that didn't take away from the height. Miley of course thinks she can do everything one better so goes that little bit higher, which is fine, I just wish she'd try and follow their philosophies too and try to dress for success, as opposed to whatever her idea is.

I know Spandau Ballet must have had more than one hit, but I don't know what it was. I'm more interested in those clothes and how many cans of hairspray it took to do all five heads of hair.

Like every all boy group, there's an ugly one, a bad one, a boring one, a smart one and a talented one. Except I can't quite figure out which is which, in any group. Like those before them, we can all take solace in the fact that One Direction will be done soon, no matter how much they believe, they are not indestructible. Gold!

Top 25 - 11 January, 2015

Jeremy Neale, Sharon Jones + Nicki Minaj!

1. Jeremy Neale - The News (NEW)





2. The Grates - Holiday Home





3. The Kite String Tangle ft. Tiana Khasi - Stone Cold





4. George Maple - Vacant Space (NEW)





5. Halcyon Drive - Crusoe





6. Mark Ronson ft. Bruno Mars - Uptown Funk





7. Megan Washington - Begin Again





8. Years and Years - King (NEW)





9. Young Lions - When Will We Be Free





10. World's End Press - Spirals (Slide Away)





11. Nicki Minaj - Grand Piano (NEW)  
Skip to 10:50 if you don't want to watch the mini-movie.





12. Jessie Ware - You and I (Forever) (NEW)





13. Maples - Stars





14. Laura Marling - Short Movie (NEW)





15. Client Liaison - Groove The Physical (NEW)


 


16. The Grates - It Won't Hurt Anymore





17. Bertie Blackman - Kingdom of Alone





18. Velociraptor - Leeches (NEW)


 

19. Sharon Jones and The Dap Kings - Little Boys With Shiny Toys (NEW)





20. Metric - The Fatal Gift





21. The Preatures - Ordinary (NEW)





22. Marina and The Diamonds - Immortal





23. Seekae - The Stars Below (NEW)





24. I Know Leopard - Perfect Picture





25. Twin Shadow - Turn Me Up

10 and 1 - Ke$ha Goes To Dinosaur Land...

Ke$ha... destined for the bright lights of Broadway?

10 New Musical Ideas

Inspired by SPEARS: The Gospel According To Britney

by Matt Bond

Did you hear the one about the musical that would tell the story of Jesus through the songs of Britney Spears? It wasn't a joke. It was a true story, something that actually happened and by all accounts it was pretty good. Personally, I'm already a bigger fan of it than Jesus Christ Superstar. Only days after being informed of the existence of SPEARS: The Gospel According To Britney, I saw that Alanis Morissette was planning a jukebox musical based on her Jagged Little Pill album. Now that is going to be a good 'un. You're in a theatre... the character on stage is singing about going down on you in a theatre. That's going to be all kinds of awkward. Anyway, it got me thinking. What's next? Which pop stars are going to look to musical theatre as a new source of income and what wacky story ideas could they use. If Britney and Jesus could go together I'm thinking some of these just might work. As is the '10 and 1' way to play, I'll leave you with one musical they probably shouldn't look at making. Enjoy! 

THE 10:

The Music: Ke$ha

The Story: The Land Before Time aka Dinosaurs aka Bearded Cavemen

I even came up with the title Ke$ha Goes To Dinosaur Land for this one, which in no way steals from a Jenna Maroney film. Ke$ha would obviously have to play herself for every performance, because no one else could do it justice. The story is pretty simple: Ke$ha gets sent back in time to when dinosaurs roamed the Earth, hooks up with some bearded cave dudes, punches out a T-Rex and parties... all the time. Her timeless single, 'Die Young', could be used as an acoustic ballad lamenting the limited life expectancy of neanderthals. Or something... the party don't start until she walks in! 

The Music: Ice-T

The Story: Law and Order: SVU-sical

How has this not been done already? You've got song titles like 'Cop Killer', 'Killers', 'You Don't Quit', 'I'm Your Pusher', 'Lethal Weapon', 'The Girl Tried To Kill Me' and 'Police Story'. Ice-T's already one of the star's of the show, so there's that. And if they can't get Mariska Hargitay to step up and belt out a tune, just get T's wife Coco to play Detective Olivia Benson. Everyone's a winner! 

The Music: Backstreet Boys

The Story: Something to do with One Direction

It's already much more interesting because you don't have to listen to a single One Direction song. 

The Music: Yeah Yeah Yeahs

The Story: The Tudors 

Every single time someone gets executed (and in this story that happens pretty much every ten seconds) the chorus can bust out a little bit of 'Heads Will Roll' - "off, off, off with your head, dance, dance, dance 'til you're dead." You can tie 'Sacrilege' into Henry VIII getting out of his marriage to Catherine of Aragon and young, rebellious Princess Mary can bust a move through the palace as she sings 'Zero'. And do you know what Henry's later life coat of arms had on it? A 'Gold Lion'. That's what. 

The Music: Madonna

The Story: Dracula: Death and Disco

Let me set the scene for you. We're in Transylvania at Count Dracula's creepy castle. Man-servant to the stars, Renfield has just fearfully informed his master that Jonathan Harker has escaped and is on his way back to London to warn everyone of Dracula's existence. You're expecting Dracula to react violently... but what's that? A disco ball emerges from the ceiling and a jubilant Dracula turns around, throws off his cape and screams that they'll be taking a holiday! Madonna's 'Holiday' begins to play, Dracula dances with his vampire brides, Renfield busts out some crazy moves and you have a Tony Award winning musical on your hands. Come at me, producers. 

The Music: Avril Lavigne

The Story: Romeo and Juliet: An Emo Love Story

Romeo's a boy, Juliet's a girl... can I make it anymore obvious? Romeo's a punk, Juliet does ballet... what more can I say? Romeo wanted her, she'd never tell, but secretly Juliet wanted him as well. All of Juliet's friends, stuck up their nose, they had a problem with his baggy clothes. For Romeo was a skater boy and so on and so forth. As much as it pains me to not combine Shakespeare with his modern day equivalent, Ke$ha, the music of Mrs. Nickelback really speaks to this classic love story. And Taylor Swift would just be too obvious... baby, just say yes. 

The Music: Anything written by Sia

The Story: American Idol: The Musical

Art imitating life imitating art, but not. This would be fun. It would be like paying $50 to go see something you could watch for free on the TV. And since Sia has played a part in writing every single song that's ever been popular and thus performed on reality television, they might as well just use her music. It is, however, unlikely that a song performed by Sia will be used. Just the songs she's written for the Guetta's, Rihanna's and Britney's of the world.

The Music: Amy Winehouse

The Story: The Robert Downey Jusical

Now you're thinking that maybe I'm not so crazy... 

The Music: Adele

The Story: The Mortal Kombat-sical

  ... which is a mistake you won't make again. But really, you should have known better after that whole Madonna/Dracula debacle. Want me to set the scene again for you? Sub-Zero sings 'Someone Like You' to Scorpion. Alright, alright, I'll stop.

The Music: Lady Gaga

The Story: Pirates of the Caribbean

Yeah, I've got nothing. But Pirates are huge, Gaga's huge... with their powers combined, they could be the biggest thing in ever. Ever I say! Sword fights on the high seas while everyone's singing 'Poker Face'. Johnny Depp reprising his role as Jack Sparrow. Gaga playing the Kraken or something. If Spider-Man: The Musical can work, this one can too.

THE ONE: 

The Music: Nicki Minaj

The Story: Barbie's Skanky Sunday

This is the right kind of crazy. It's so crazy, that it might just work! Who am I kidding, this is the worst one yet. Even worse than that Adele/Mortal Kombat one, which I think could really work if you'd just approach it with an open mind. Anyway, we'll spare Barbie having to drop some dope rhymes about having beez in her trap... for now. 

See you all on Broadway! I'm a staaaar, I'm on top.... somebody bring me some haaaaaaam! Shut up, I've been watching a lot of 30 Rock lately and by lately I mean this year.

The Candy Shop #20

Money, money, money, must be funny, it’s a crime, too tight to mention, gimme the MUNY the Yen and the Peso, I WANT MONEY!


In light of recent Australian political events it only seems fit that I dedicate tonight’s Candy Shop to the all mighty dollar! It consumes our lives and dominates out decisions like “Do I have enough money for another cream filled éclair or should I be saving to get that tumor cut out?” It rules our health, our leisure, our pleasure and apparently the music industry. WHO KNEW? Lolz.

Money in the 70s

Money 

by Pink Floyd

I can never get over how timeless these guys are. This was released in 1973 and is still as fresh today. I dedicate this to Australian politics!

Money Money Money 

by ABBA 

Just find me a rich man so I can be a kept lady. Were these the aspirations of the time? I want this. I keep telling my lover to become super successful or I’m leaving. I think it’s healthy in a relationship to have an ultimatum.

 Money in the 80s

Money's Too Tight (To Mention)

by Simply Red

That’s not all that’s too tight to mention… Did you see that curly fringe? Mick you little firecracker, I bet the money isn’t too tight these days.

Money For Nothing

by Dire Straits

“See the little f****t with the earring and the makeup, yeah buddy that's his own hair, that little f****t got his own jet air plane, that little f****t he's a millionaire...” charming no? This was regularly played when I was growing up. Maybe I subconsciously felt that being gay would make me rich? Actually no…

Money in the 90s

Money

by The Flying Lizards

I was a teenager once. I heard this song. I also just wanted money. I was a teenager and needed things. Things only money could buy. I WANT MONEY!

 Money in the 00s

 Rich Girl
by Gwen Stefani

If I was a rich girl I’d probably nana nana nana nana nah too. This was when Gwen sold out to so it’s only fitting she’s singing about being rich. Maybe she wrote this before she was raking in the cash?

 Money in the 10s

Muny
by Nicki Minaj

She a muny grabbing so ‘n’ so with a luv for da buck and a butt like a truck! I’m not really a Nicki fan but this song was part of a burlesque production I saw recently and I must admit my muny maker became a muny shaker!


Money makes the world go round and drives everything from politics to music and as much as things change they remain the same. Now where’d I put my diamond ring? I think it might have fallen off in my money pit…

10 and 1 - Put Your Paws Up If You Beliebe

Stacey and Tiffany would regret their new tattoos in the years to come...

So you want to be a pop superstar (and live large)? Unless you can come up with some snazzy/incredibly lame name for your stalkers fans, you're not going to get very far. Every singing sensation and their miniature schnauzer has come up with a moniker for their supporters that binds their obsession for their larger than life overlords into a movement that the casual YouTube comment skimmer will either find hilarious or annoying. "You're not a real Directioner, you're just a stupid Belieber! You'll never love One Direction like I do, you'll never KNOW them like I do." I see.


Making the mistake of listening to Nova the other day, I had the pleasure of listening to Cher Lloyd explain why her fans are called Brats. Alright, I wasn't really listening to what she was saying. I briefly asked myself, "who is this Cher Lloyd and why would anyone want to be her Brat?" before thinking of all the other farmies (fan armies) running around the internets. Deciding this list would make an excellent 10 and 1, I give you the ten worst named groups of obsessed-crazy-Misery-esque fans and the one group that is perfectly named. Enjoy!

THE 10:

Little Monsters

of Lady Gaga

Put your paws up if you're a Little Monster! You can blame the modern trend of naming your fans on the 'Mother Monster' herself, Lady Gaga. Yes, there have been Fanilows (amazing), Phans, The KISS Army and more, but things were a bit quiet on the fan base front until LGG started referring to her followers as tiny freaks. Little Monsters worship Gaga as a deity. They're vicious when attacked and will defend their leader with their lives. Unless you're wearing your meat suit, avoid at all costs. Do not mention the name Madonna around them. They really don't like that old hag. What? Why would you think I'm a Little Monster? 

Beyontourage/BeyHive

of Beyonce

We get it. Your name is Beyonce and you can work that into so many different things. Like how you called your album B'Day. That's classic, but you should have really made it Bey'Day, just so everyone knew it was definitely a Beyonce album. Wouldn't want anyone to be mistaken now would we? Beyontourage just wasn't working for Knowles, so she went with BeyHive. If you're a member of the group (you lucky devil you), you will be known as a Bey. Don't think that sounds like Bay. It's Bee. But it's spelt Bey. Get it? Because her name is Beyonce. Not Bayonce. It's like Beeyonce. Understand? You don't want to understand? That makes you a WASP! You will now be stung by the Beys for you are a hater! 

Katy-Cats

of Katy Perry

Taken from Urban Dictionary:

"The massive followers of Katy Perry. They would take a bullet for her. You can find them on twitter, the Katy Perry forum or wherever Katy Perry is. 

What the f**k is up with that chick, she's crying?

Katy Perry just tweeted her. She's obviously a Katy Cat."

She obviously needs help.   

It's All Coming Back To Me Now - Stuck On Repeat

Starships were meant to flyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!! AGHHHHHHHH!!!

Stuck on Repeat

by Jo Michelmore

Recently I had the pleasure of hearing Matt’s rendition of Starships by Nicki Minaj, sung in various keys and ways, over lunch. I don’t know why he was singing it (it’s best not to question these things), he just was. The thing is, after not too long, I was also singing it, in my head, which I continued to do for many, many hours afterward. I listened to all sorts of things to try and stop it, a strange mix of music including Amanda Palmer, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Muse, Kanye West, Patsy Cline, Daft Punk, Jack White, Stevie Wonder, I even tried a Rihanna song(!) but to no avail. I was still singing ol’ Nicki hours later. Damn you Matt! Damn you Minaj! It got me thinking about how some songs just get stuck, no matter what you do, they just need to play their natural course in your brain until suddenly you realise you’re not singing it anymore, then you remember it again and the whole nasty cycle starts again. They call it an earworm. I don’t care what it’s called; it’s simultaneously great and incredibly infuriating. I’ve decided the best way of getting rid of the earworm that Minaj has become is like getting rid of a cold, you give it to someone else. Either that or you get another song stuck in your head. I’m happy with either option at the moment, just get out Nicki! Get out! “Starships were meant to fly—yyyy-yyyy-yyyy……”
Aaaaaaaaaaagggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini (196)

by Bryan Hyland

There’s something really, really creepy about this song. A girl, wearing a bikini, too afraid to go to the beach in the first place because of her swimsuit (or rather lack of it), then once she gets to the beach she hides under a towel because of her swimsuit (or rather, lack of it), then when she finally goes swimming, she’s afraid to come out of the water because of her swimsuit (or rather, lack of it). Why is she afraid? Because there’s some creepy old guy staring at her the whole time! Some creepy old guy staring at her and saying in a creepy voice “it was an itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini”. Who says that? Only a CREEPY OLD GUY would say that!!!! Some creepy old guy, his whole band and some weird girl saying at regular intervals; “Two, three, four, tell the people, what she wore”. No wonder she was terrified! You know what the worst part about this song is though? That creepy old guy’s voice, stuck in your head, for hours on end saying that horrible collection of words “she wore a itsy, bitsy……” Uuuuuuurgh. Stuck AND creepy. Worst combination, ever.

Stayin' Alive (1977)

by The Bee Gees 

 

See, disco is a problem. It’s a problem because so much of it is so damn catchy. It’s like a horrible virus, it just hangs around, innocently, you barely notice it’s there then suddenly, its days later and without warning you don’t feel so well because you’ve been singing “burn baby burn” for an eternity and can’t even remember where you heard it. That’s disco. You know who were the ultimate with the disco earworm? The Bee Gees. They were the creators of numerous earworms, but I decided this one was a total epidemic of disco virus. Once you hear that falsetto of Barry you’re in for a treat. One of two things is going to happen. It’ll be “stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive” or it will be “ah, ha, ha, ha”. It’s going to go around and around and around in your pretty little head for what seems like for-ev-er. Whichever happens, just make sure when you get to the “stayin ali-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-vvvve” bit, you commit to that note. That’s the pinnacle of disco fever, right there.

Don't Worry, Be Happy (1988)

by Bobby McFerrin  

 

I’m not worried, I’m not happy. I’m just incredibly annoyed, ok? This song will do that to you. You think it’s kind of cute, maybe a little sweet, but this song will completely and totally send you crazy. There aren’t even any instruments in this song. This is all voice. Incredibly annoying, catchy, catchy voice. Stop it Bobby. Stop telling me what to do. Don’t tell me how to live my life. Just get out of my head. I told you. I’m not worried. Not happy. Just annoyed.

I'm Too Sexy (1991)

by Right Said Fred 

 

The thing about this song is that most people are not too sexy for their car, their hat, their cat, New York, Milan or Japan, let alone their shirt. Even Right Said Fred weren’t too sexy for any of those things. That doesn’t seem to stop the refrain “I’m so sexy for this shirt, so sexy it hurts” getting stuck in one’s brain though. You know what’s not sexy? Getting this goddamn song stuck in your head for days and days and days and days and days and days on end. That’s not sexy at all. Aaaaaaaaaagggghhhhh!!!!!!!!!

Who Let The Dogs Out? (2000)

by Baha Men 

 

Who did let the dogs out? I guess one will never know, because someone somewhere has probably done some physical harm to whoever wrote this song. I think there’s possibly a verse or two in between all the irritating “who, who, who, who”, but has anyone ever heard any of them? Everyone’s so busy waiting for the next opportunity to yell that noise at the top of their lungs no one cares about Gruffy or Scruffy or any flea infested mongrel (actual lyric!). I know kids loved this song, I suppose because they got the opportunity to bark like dogs for four minutes or so and not get in trouble for it, but adults? There is no excuse for any adult to be continuously saying “who who who who” for hours after hearing this song. Did you hear me? No excuse. You’re singing it now and you haven’t even pressed play, have you? Damn you earworms. Damn you eardogs. Damn you Baha Men.

…and for something different, the future vintage pick: 

Starships (2012)

by Nicki Minaj

Go on, listen to it, I dare you. You know you want to. Just so you can prove to yourself that it won’t get stuck in YOUR head. Go on. Press play. Do it. It won’t hurt you. Or will it? Take a chance. Listen. You’ll love it. Everyone loves it. It’s Nicki Minaj, she can’t hurt you. Can she? Oh, there it is…..”Starships were meant to flyyyyyyy, hands up and touch the skyyyyyyyy…..”
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAMN YOU MINAJ!

New Music Monday #19

Chained

by The xx

Album: Coexist (10 September, 2012)

The second snippet of amazing from The xx’s second album Coexist, to be released in September. There’s a slightly off beat drum, a spine tingling use of cymbals and an intense yet restrained guitar that make this a beautiful track, but what makes it spectacular are the battling vocals of Romy Madley-Croft and Oliver Sim, circling each other with the words, “we used to get closer than this, is it something that you miss?” It feels like listening in on a private conversation and it’s such a perfect song it’s easy to get lost in the moment until, at the climax of the discussion, it ends, suddenly, leaving the listener with nothing and breathless for more. It’s that strange concept of less is more which they’re mastering that makes The xx as fabulous as this track proves them to be.

Jo Michelmore gives 'Chained' four Shirley Manson's out of five...

Who Do You Think You Are - Caroline Bramley

Meet Caroline: She fights the power with Public Enemy and feels that boom-ba-doom-boom-bass with Nicki Minaj!

We now return to your regularly scheduled Wednesday programming! Yah, that's right, after a short absence...Who Do You Think You Are is back! You've already forgotten what it's all about, haven't you? Well, each week we'll be conducting a little interview with one of the hot pieces of A that like our Facebook page. You haven't been to the Facebook page? You should. It's awesome. Shameless plugging out of the way, each week we ask one of our readers some questions about music, they answer them and they're great reads. This week, Caroline Bramley answered some questions about favourite concert memories, music to drive to and more. Enjoy reading and don't forget... you could be next!

CAROLINE BRAMLEY

Q. What are you listening to at the moment?

Caroline: At the moment I'm listening mostly to Lady Gaga in anticipation of her concert. New Kids On The Block - reliving my teeny bopper youth and also loving Gym Class Heroes, Far East Movement and Labyrinth!


Q. If we were to pick up your iPod, what would be on the most played list?


Caroline: A selection of current top 20 I'm sorry to say! Plus some old school 80s/90s like Public Enemy and Digital Underground to keep me feeling young?!

New Music Monday #5

Santigold?

Master of My Make-Believe [Album] (2012)

by Santigold

Forever and a day is how long it feels like it's been since Santi White dropped her explosive debut album, Santogold. Extreme over-exaggerating aside, it's taken exactly four (long) years for us to hear a sophomore album from our favourite genre-bending superstar and I'm more than happy to report that the wait has been well worth it. Over the past four years there have been name changes, big-time collaborations, leaks and mixtapes all keeping the name Santigold fresh enough in our minds and the buzz a-growing for Master of My Make-Believe. When the album's opening track, 'Go,' a fanboy-gasmic team-up with the Yeah Yeah Yeah's Karen O (the track finished the year at #6 on our Top 111 Songs of 2011 countdown), was leaked in April last year, all fears of a sophomore slump were washed away. Then 2011 went by with barely a word uttered about a release date and I'll admit, some of that excitement and positivity were diminished. Then 'Big Mouth' was unleashed upon the world in January of this year with barely any notice. Closing out the standard edition of Master of My Make-Believe, 'Big Mouth' stands as one of the best songs of 2012. Within the album, it shines as a triumphant closing number; a three minute assault of the senses that leaves you wanting more and more Santigold. In between the opening and closing numbers, virtually every song manages to leave a lasting impression. 'Disparate Youth' and 'The Keepers' are prime examples of how far Santi has come since her debut. Easily likable, more relaxed, incredibly catchy and a sign that she's aware of what she needed to improve upon from her debut (yeah... not that much). "We're the keepers, while we sleep in America," comes off way more anthemic than it should, but that's the power of Santigold. Surprisingly, Master of My Make-Believe finds much of its strength when Santigold slows it down. 'This Isn't Our Parade' is almost a sad song. A sad song? From Santigold? I know... but it's almost poignant in its own way, with a chorus and bridge that I'll be remembering for a long time. It's low-key moments like 'This Isn't Our Parade' and 'The Riot's Gone' that make the impact of 'Big Mouth' stand out even more. Overall, Master of My Make-Believe is a worthy successor to Santogold. It's far more cohesive, showcases a songwriter who's only grown stronger and is full of tracks designed to grow on you over time. I'm giving it four out of five now, but I'm pretty sure my tune will change throughout the course of the year. For the better of course.  

Matt Bond gives Master of My Make-Believe four Missy Elliott's out of five...

Perth (Bon Iver cover)

by Avec Sans

Sometimes you can be checking things out on the internet, clicking on this and that which leads you to this and that and suddenly it’s six hours later and you need a drink and you haven’t discovered a thing. Other times you can find magical things, like I did this week, with this amazing cover of Bon Iver’s ‘Perth’. Avec Sans are a duo/collective/someone from London who are giving the internet very little information about themselves, but what I have discovered is that I love their version of this song! It’s not remotely folksy-Bon-Iver-like; it’s all synth, pop and a haunting female vocal. It flows beautifully, a sweet electronic cover, with just a hint of darkness to remind the listener of the original. There’s even a free download available on their website; avecsans.com! Yay, who doesn’t love a free download?! Avec Sans; who are you? More please!

Jo Michelmore gives 'Perth' three Karen O's out of five...

NEW MUSIC VIDEO OF THE WEEK

Starships

by Nicki Minaj

Album: Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded (2012)

Starships. It’s not fantastic, so I don’t know what I was expecting from the clip, but I’m not sure what to say about this one, it’s just a pop clip with no storyline and no pants. It starts like a fluorescent tourism commercial and then, well, it goes….nowhere. Actually, it’s reminiscent of a high school project, like the director demanded every special effect they know included in the hope that no one would notice the lack of sensibilities and style and instead concentrate on Minaj’s ass. Except, I did notice the lack of style and storyline. Ms Minaj, the thing is, I really want to like you and every now and then I do, but you keep being so bland it’s hard to remember why I wanted to like you in the first place. Er, you were meant to be a little bit innovative weren’t you? Do you think you could work on that? You’re not even so crap you’re funny, you’re just kind of dull. Right now the boredom is not so interesting. Neither is your lack of fashionability. Put some pants on, you’re no Gaga. Get back to me with your next clip and make it better. Thanks.   

Jo Michelmore gives 'Starships' one Dannii Minogue out of five...

  

New Music Monday #1



The Dandy Warhols


Every Monday we'll be reviewing some sweet, sweet new music just for you. I know, we're real nice to do something like this... but you're worth it. Like some sort of L'Oreal lotion. Take your mind far away from those thoughts sneaking in that involve me yelling at you, "IT RUBS THE LOTION ON THE SKIN OR ELSE IT GETS THE HOSE," by listening to this week's tracks from The Dandy Warhols, Ruby and the Rib Cage and Nicki Minaj. We'll then leave you with our favourite new music video of the week... whatever could it be? Uh... find out below.

Sad Vacation

by The Dandy Warhols

Album: This Machine (April 24, 2012)


The Dandy Warhols are one of those bands that seem to have hung around forever, ok, since the mid 90’s (that was forever ago, wasn’t it?) just doing their thing, solid but not always ‘chart-topping-amazing-must-listen-to’ type stuff. They’ve been kind of a big deal in the indie rock world at times and rightly so, at times. I’ve adored some of their music, I mean; everyone’s been through a Dandy Warhol stage, haven’t they? (No? Shame. You should have. They’re fun.) Since my last D Warhol stage was a while ago, I was interested to hear their latest offering, ‘Sad Vacation’ from their next album, This Machine. Almost two years since their last album (anyone remember the name?) this is the opening track and although it’s not a life changing song, it’s The Dandy’s doing what they do and that’s ok. A simple, lo-fi, messy bass driven track, its distorted guitars and repeated lyrics definitely leave you wanting more and hopefully the rest of the album will satisfy my new Warhol hunger when it’s released on April 24 (on a side note, the artwork for the album cover is beautiful, check it out). This song is solid, punchy, stripped back, very Dandy Warhol-ish and pays tribute to some of the indie gods of the early 90’s, without sounding old or boring or bland. Can’t wait to hear more, maybe this is the start of my next Dandy’s phase? We’ll see.

Jo Michelmore gives 'Sad Vacation' three Karen O's out of five...

Dandelion

by Ruby and the Rib Cage

 

Dandelion - studio demo by RubyandtheRibCage

 

It's no secret that we're big fans of Ruby and the Rib Cage here on It's My Kind of Scene. We fell for Ruby's powerful voice and songwriting prowess on previous song, 'Horror,' and were very happy to see that the band had released a new studio demo, 'Dandelion.' Initial thoughts? This is quite an inviting piece of folky-pop with a melody that seamlessly moves from sweet and hopeful to heartbreaking. The control and range in Ruby's voice is on full display, somehow charming me even more than her performance on 'Horror.' Conveying the right emotions to carry the strength of your lyrics isn't something that comes easily to many seasoned artists, but Ruby Ribcage knocks 'Dandelion' out of the park. She draws you in to a more intimate setting with her whispered low notes one second and then has you doing a reserved fist-pump when she lets loose the next. It's still early days for Ruby and the Rib Cage, but they're hitting all the right notes and my expectations for their debut EP couldn't be higher. With the strength of tracks like 'Dandelion,' I already know the band is going to blow those expectations out of the water.

 

 

Matt Bond gives 'Dandelion' four Shirley Manson's out of five...

 

 

 Pound The Alarm

by Nicki Minaj

Album: Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded

 

 

It wasn't that long ago that I would hear the name Nicki Minaj and feel this little wave of excitement come over me. A huge, gaping hole had been left in the female rap game for years and along comes this crazy girl with pink hair and no pants that can out-rap Kanye West, Jay-Z and Eminem. Would she step up and take over Missy Elliott's throne? All signs pointed to yes. If you shook the 8-Ball now, it would most likely come up with that lame 'outlook hazy, try again later' response that would really grind my gears. You see, there's these two sides to Nicki Minaj; rap goddess and trash-pop-trash. 'Pound The Alarm' is the perfect example for showing off the bipolarity of Nicki Minaj. In the opening verse, Minaj raps her giant booty off ala Missy. From the moment the rap segment ends, 'Pound The Alarm' devolves into a Ke$ha-lite, electro-pop club thumper. "You know we getting hotter and hotter, Sexy and hotter, let's shut it down." Doesn't it just make you want to go, "whoooo," with all the other ho's? In one verse we see an artist that has so much potential. Everything else? Garbage... and not the sexy Shirley Manson kind. One can't blame Minaj for chasing after chart success, but that rap crown isn't going to wait around for her forever. Azealia Banks seems prepped to jump up and snatch it and Missy Elliott is prepping for a huge comeback in 2012.

 

 

 

Matt gives 'Pound The Alarm' two Lil' Kim's out of five...

 

 

NEW MUSIC VIDEO OF THE WEEK:

 

All The Rowboats

by Regina Spektor

Song of the Day - Starships

Nicki Minaj - Starships

Album: Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded (2012)

It's Nicki Minaaaaaaaj! 'Starships' sees Madame Minaj vie for the electro-pop crown; glitz, glamour, doof-doof and all. It's a distinct departure from the promise she showed on Kanye's 'Monster,' but hey, if this is the music that's going to see her hit the top of the charts, good for her. Shame it's not a quality song, but good for her. Looks like the 'amazing female MC' position will remain vacant until Missy Elliott's triumphant return. Misssss-aaaaay!

Rating: 1/5