A to Z of the 80s - A is for All About That Hair

All About That Hair

by Jo Michelmore

Welcome back dear readers, to the second edition of what has now become the famous IMKOS A to Z (famous is relative). This time we're looking at everyones favourite decade whether you were there or not; the decade of decadence, synthesisers, rubix cubes, plastic jewellery, Frankie says, large shoulders, break dancing, MTV, Magnum PI, neon, Fido Dido, hypercolour, Care Bears and Gremlins...there's so much about it to love.


Welcome friends, to the 1980s.


Let's start the next 26 weeks with something that epitomises the 80s, because if there's one thing about the 80s, they were big and so was the hair, so take your bass straight back to where you found it Ms Trainor, A is for All About That Hair.


You wanna talk about hair? The 80s inspired an entire genre of music based on hair. The bygone glamorous era of big hair bands. Ask anyone who was there who was the best and you'll get a whole bunch of names; Def Leppard, Skid Row, Bon Jovi...the list goes on but my personal fave? Poison. There's some serious hairspray in that band.

You think they're irrelevant now? Don't be fooled, we all know Iggy Azalea is only one comb away from that big hair. And while she's pretending she's all fancy, we know she just wants nothin' but a good time.

Poor ol' Whitney (RIP) may have gone through a few phases in that career of hers, but she reached the height of heights (literally?) in the late 80s with some curls and at least a can of hairspray on her head. Maybe a can of mousse too. 

You think she's kind of irrelevant now? Don't be fooled. Every pop star in the world wishes they were a teeny bit more Whitney and Nicki Minaj is only a step away from a can of hairspray with those curls of hers. One more tease, add a touch of the mullet and bam, don't you wanna dance say you wanna dance don't you wanna dance.

Madonna needs to stop queen of pop's early 80s arch-nemesis Cyndi Lauper liked to mix it up a little. Colour it and shave it, then add the can of hairspray.

Cyndi didn't win the queen of pop title, but at least she doesn't get the 'needs to stop' added to the front of her name (thank you editor for my new way to refer to Madonna forevermore) but don't be fooled, Cyndi's influence is simply much more subtle than Madonna's. Skrillex may have taken her hair but it's actually his ex-girlfriend Ellie Goulding who learnt from Cyndi. After all, even with Cyndi's hair, Ellie knew Skrillex was a douche and girls just wanna have fun (etc).

Sweden has always been responsible for funny little trends. You know, like IKEA and Lykke Li and sandwich cakes, those funny little meatballs and that left leaning government...er, wait...in the 80s Sweden was all about short hair, a can of hairspray and Roxette.

It was the late 80s so the length was shortened, but don't be fooled, that didn't take away from the height. Miley of course thinks she can do everything one better so goes that little bit higher, which is fine, I just wish she'd try and follow their philosophies too and try to dress for success, as opposed to whatever her idea is.

I know Spandau Ballet must have had more than one hit, but I don't know what it was. I'm more interested in those clothes and how many cans of hairspray it took to do all five heads of hair.

Like every all boy group, there's an ugly one, a bad one, a boring one, a smart one and a talented one. Except I can't quite figure out which is which, in any group. Like those before them, we can all take solace in the fact that One Direction will be done soon, no matter how much they believe, they are not indestructible. Gold!

The A to Z of Pop - Q is for Stop Questioning Me.

The A to Z of Pop

by Jo Michelmore

Do you ever find yourself wanting to tell people to just shut up? Enough with all the questions. 

Just. 

Shut. 

Up. 

Like, checkout person, you don't actually care how I am, so don't ask. Just process my groceries and be done with it. You, barista, already have enough questions to ask about my coffee order, so let's just skip the 'how are you' and get to the caffeine part. You, footpath salesperson, don't ask me my name, you don't care. The facts are that some days, everyone can suck it. Some days, enough with the questions. Some days, I just want to put in some headphones and ignore everyone. Except, then there's the questions that pop songs pose. So many! At least I can respond to those without anyone getting offended. Welcome to Q in the A to Z of Pop. Now, everyone, stop questioning me!

Can you touch me where? No Michael Bolton, you may not. Get over it and shut up.

Do I think you're sexy? No Rod Stewart, I do not. Get over it and shut up.

Well actually, no one Jessie J. Especially after witnessing both Rod and Michael in a row. Vom. Get over that! Shut up. 

Can I feel the love tonight? Not really, Elton. Get over it and shut up.

Will I marry you? Actually no, Paula Abdul, I will not. Get over it and shut up.

Didn't we almost have it all? We've never had anything Whitney. Get over it and shut up.

Whitney! Enough! Get over it and SHUT UP!

Oh Beyonce, you're just like Whitney. I just don't love you, ok? Get over it, shut up and stop questioning me!

Where Is My Mind? - Halloween Is...

Yep, Celine Dion makes me do that too...

...So Yesterday Already

by Jo Michelmore

Yep, today's the day, tonight's the night. Halloween. I know you're probably sick of it all already, 'cause I kind of am. I mean, when Halloween falls on a school night, the celebration is either the weekend before or the weekend after, isn't it? For me? The weekend before. While I didn't have a costume planned pre-Saturday night, I was kind of impressed with my suppressed goth/emo tendencies and the ability to pull together a black lace maxi dress, a whole lot of black beads, some black make up eyes, a lacey shawl and a whole pile of black flowers in my hair and wha-la! What have you got? A black widow/ghost type thing. Ok, that's what I told myself and what got me through the night, so leave me alone.


Anyway, what I'm saying is that's old news! That's last weekend! It might be Halloween today, but where I live, no one cares! Scary clowns? Zombies? Vampires? Ghosts? Whatever! You're done for the year again! So, because I'm so over it, what I'm here to celebrate are the sweetest, nicest, most darling pop songs ever. Anything and everything BUT scary. Or are they?


We left last week on an incredibly depressing note with 10CC's I'm Not In Love, so I thought it would be appropriate to start on another depressing song with love in the title..

Well, that's probably a bit unfair. I mean, the song itself is sweet, a forlorn and heartbroken Whitney Houston singing her little heart out about her lost love, who in this case, happens to be her co-star in The Bodyguard, Kevin Costner. Yes, Kevin Costner. Actually, Kevin Costner? Is there anything about Kevin Costner one would want to sing a love song about? No, no there's not. Actually, he's a little bit creepy, that Kevin Costner. Nope, this one's not so sweet then. Let's put that in the creepy Halloween pile and move on.

Ok, let's go from one vocal powerhouse to another, Celine Dion. Her song 'My Heart Will Go On' was one of the biggest selling singles in the world in the 90s and what a beautiful ballad it was, taken from that film, Titanic, about that giant floating coffin, the boat on which more than 1500 people died in 1912. Actually, that's not very sweet at all. That's tragic and Celine Dion made millions off that tragedy with this song! Right, another one we thought was sweet but actually belongs in the creepy Halloween pile. Let's move on.

Well, if the girls can't be sweet, let's look at some boys. I've gone for some Australian boys, because that's where I'm from. It's Savage Garden, of course. Who could forget this beautiful ballad? I think people might have played this at their weddings in the late 90s. Isn't that sweet? Except right at the end of the song he says he wants to "stand like this forever, until the sky falls down on me" What Darren? Forever? Well, that's just not possible, unless you're a vampire or a zombie. Also, you want the sky to fall down on you? Are you wishing for the apocalypse? Seriously? You want to be a vampire/zombie who witnesses the end of the world as we know it? I thought you were so sweet Darren Hayes. Seems I was wrong, another one for the creepy Halloween pile. Let's move on.

Well, I've looked to the girls, I looked to the boys, let's try a girl with a boys name (Toni's across the blogosphere gasp "my name is not a boys name! Sorry, it is.) Toni Braxton. Such a dramatic, sweet ballad about the loss of a true love...except, it's not actually possible to 'unbreak' a heart or 'uncry' a tear. You can stop crying, yes, but you can't uncry them. As for unbreaking a heart, I'm not even sure unbreak is a word. Unbreakable, sure, but unbreak? That's just poor use of words Toni. I'm going to have to stick you in the creepy Halloween pile for such abuse of the English language. Let's move on.

Surely old Taylor Swift won't disappoint, right? This is the sweetest little pop song, ever, isn't it? I got a gift once from a very, very, very good friend; a birthday card that played this little song every time I opened it. How...sweet(?). Romeo, Juliet, marry me you never have to be alone..."it's a love story baby just say yes"...it would be beautiful except, it's so incredibly sweet it makes me wanna vom. C'mon, seriously, you didn't think I could do a post about sweet love songs, did you? Really? I mean, I'll sing along to this one as much as anyone else, but there's a reason that friend gave me that birthday card...'cause it was so bad it was good. Like, laugh til you vom good. Yep, Taylor, you're just too sweet, let's stick you in the so sweet I don't trust you and you're actually a little bit creepy pile...


Where will my mind take you next week? Somewhere much less creepy, one hopes, right?

The Candy Shop #23

Nothing Compares. Or Does It? 

The Comparisons And Cat Fights Continue…

by Nayt Housman

A lot of comparisons are made in the music industry and it will always be this way. Recently a certain young pop star made a comparison to a pop star of musical heritage that once covered a song by a music big gun, and the comparison was met with a letter that was met with twitter insults that was met with another letter and the saga goes on…


This is a blog post about rivals and the best way to introduce it is with this short clip. You’ll understand.

Miley recently said her 'Wrecking Ball' clip is like the 'Nothing Compares 2 U' of today...Sinead said Miley’s a music prostitute...Miley said Sinead is crackers...Prince doesn’t care...Miley licks sledge hammers because she’s told to...Sinead shaves her head coz no one tells her what to do...Prince makes purple rain....

Is Miley, the new Sinead? 

Is Sinead the new Prince?

Is Prince still alive? 

And speaking of Prince I remember the 80s/90s competition between Michael Jackson and the love symbol.

Prince...

Michael Jackson...

While I’m pointing out the obvious, we have the Gaga/Madonna comparison. I’m not going to lie, most of Gaga’s music doesn’t appeal to me much and Madonna has had some great moments but not for quite some time. Gaga’s antics are more comparable to Bjork or Grace Jones than Madonna but I guess her music is closer to Madonna’s and Grace Jones has weighed in saying she did it all first. I don’t even know what’s happening anymore. Madonnaga? Lady Bjordonna? Bjordaga? But what I love about these comparisons is the music mash ups that come out of the catfights.

Madonnaga?

Lady Gagonna?

Grace Jones?

So all these “who did what better” comparisons have been going on forever and in the 90s wasn’t it Britney vs Christina, Spice Girls vs S Club 7 and Mariah vs Whitney?

Britstina Aguilears?

Maritney Houstarey?

Spice Club 7 Girls?

Then there are some more obscure comparisons like Moloko vs Kylie or Gaga vs Spice Girls. HA!

Kyloko?

Spicy Gaga?

Why so serious? IT’S JUST POP MUSIC!

I love how heated people get when their fave pop stars get embroiled in online sledge matches and the debate boils over into the lives of everyday Johns who battle as if they’re personally involved. I love to get involved myself but I secretly just like to prod the coals and stoke the fire because in the end, who really gives a crap?

Artists are bound to be influenced by each other over the course of history and often will end up working with the same producers/stylists/directors/photographers etc, so eventually there has to be some convergence here n there. Am I going to stop debating when a new pop star brings out a single that sounds remarkably like something I already love? HELL NO!

To quote our blog’s beautiful Jo;

“The pop music industry needed Miley AND Sinead. It hasn't been this interesting in a long time.” 

Everyone just wants to belong to a team right? So whose team are you on? Sinead or Miley? Gaga or Madonna? Christina or Britney? If you ask me, they’re all crap! Now where’s my Spandau Ballet record?

It's All Coming Back To Me Now - Ugh VS Shamon

 Prince apparently says "ugh" a lot. Michael said "shamon" a lot. No wonder they were rivals.

Ugh Vs Shamon

by Jo Michelmore

Ah, rivals. We've all got one, or at least had one at some stage in our lives. If you haven't, you need to work on that, you haven't lived. Me? I've had numerous, but I kind of like it that way. Who doesn't love a good enemy? I've got one at work, one at the gym, one in my street, one at the supermarket; they're everywhere. Ok, maybe some of these are rivals only in my mind, but that's not the point. The point is; healthy rivalry is good. Some of the best rivals have been in my favourite place in the world. The world of pop music. If we're looking at 80's vintage rivals, the question is; who wins?

Michael Jackson VS Prince

Well, I was going to say Prince wins this one, because, well, you know, he might be shorter but he's still alive. That is until I remembered Prince's detest of the internet and the youtubes and it being hard to find any genuine Prince clips on the youtubes. Therefore, Michael wins from the grave, because even dead, he's not afraid of the technology.

Michael gave us the moonwalk and this...

 

While the 'little purple dude' makes you type "performed by the little purple dude who...etc". to find any cool clips, like this one. Uuurrrrrgh, Prince, keep up.

 

WINNER: Michael Jackson.

Madonna VS Cyndi Lauper

Ok, Madonna's had a lot of rivals, but since this is vintage time, let's look at the first and my favourite. Why? 'Cause Cyndi was so freakin' cute, who would ever have guessed Madonna was going to have that thirteen year run of awesomeness between like, '89 and '03 and turn out to be.....Madonna?

So while Cyndi gave us a weird wardrobe and even weirder vocal...

 

Madonna gave us a weird wardrobe and a whole bunch let me say, awesome, songs like this...

 

WINNER: Madonna

Whitney Houston VS Mariah Carey

Well, look; like MJ v Prince, I was going to say Mariah wins automatically, because, you know, poor Whitney, but then I started listening to MS Houston and got goosebumps when I remembered just how much she nailed those notes, which Mariah hasn't always done.

So while Whitney nailed songs like this, slightly more successfully than I do at karaoke...

 

Mariah blessed our ears with things like this...

 

....ok, that's not Mariah...I just couldn't resist the opportunity to watch Tuts again. Mariah does stuff like this....

 

WINNER: Whitney Houston

Tiffany VS Debbie Gibson

Which brings us, of course, to one of the greatest and mostly forgotten rivalries of the 80's. Debbie Gibson v Tiffany. The funniest part about that? Who knows who either of them are anymore anyway? They were both the definition of crap girly pop for a couple of years there, and crap girly pop should be celebrated as often as possible.

So, while Debbie Gibson awkwardly wore denim and danced like this...

Tiffany, equally awkwardly, did this...

WINNER: Um, who cares? Oh ok, Tiffany. Debbie. Whatever. I'm over rivalry. Can't we all be friends?

It's All Coming Back To Me Now - A Love Letter To The 90s Pop Ballad

90s Whitney. Sigh...

It's been seven hours and fifteen days (not exact number) since….” I found myself out on a Friday night, well, actually, a Saturday morning, about 2am, surrounded by intoxicated people singing along, word for word to a song I've been known to love “…I go out every night and sleep all day, since you took your love away…” yep, it’s an involuntary thing isn’t it? You know the words, we all know the words, whether you like the song or not. They find themselves being screamed at people across bars at 2am, unexpectedley, they find themselves being sung along to whenever they're played. “I said nothing can take away these blues, 'cause nothing compares, nothing compares to you”. Yep, the curse of the pop ballad is that they manage to seep into your subconsious and no matter where you hear them, you'll know some of the words at some stage and before you know it you'll be singing along. No decade was more in love with the pop ballad than the 90's. I’m happy to admit it, I love some of them. Like the 80’s rock ballad we discussed earlier this month, the 90’s pop ballad is a secret (not so secret) love of mine. They’re the types of songs that you will either cry with or laugh hysterically at, but either way, we've all belted out a pop ballad at some stage....right?

Show Me Heaven

by Maria McKee, 1990

It starts with the words; ”There you go, flashing fever from your eyes”. I have no idea what that means. Flashing fever from your eyes sounds quite dramatic and possibly something that should be checked out by a medical professional. There’s also references to shaking like a breeze (which begs the question, how do breezes shake?) and shivers down her spine, which sounds like the possibility of a disorder of the nervous system. This song is just full of symptoms of larger medical problems, isn’t it? At least she’s polite, I suppose, for she does ask "show me heaven, please". My mum said politeness would get you far in life, but maybe she was wrong. I mean, where are you now Maria?

All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You

by Heart, 1990

Long story short: girl in relationship with man wants kid, man can’t manage to help produce kid. Girl finds a one night stand, one night stand 'helps her be woman numerous times' in one night (yes, first of many terrible lyrics in this song) and gets her pregnant. She tells man she is in relationship with that the baby is his. One day she runs into one night stand on the street, in a shop, at a burger joint (the place is irrelevant, but I imagine they are the types of places she hangs out). One night stand recognises the kid as his own. She begs him not to tell anyone, then continues on her chorus about all she wants to do is make love to you, which is either her partner or the one night stand, who knows by this stage? It’s a four minute song. A lot can happen in that time. Ok, so long story not shortened that much, but I have to say, this song also contains some of my least favourite lyrics, in any song, ever. Here, I'll share them with you; “I told him I am the flower you are the seed, we walked in the garden we planted a tree”. (Yes, that’s referencing sex. Unsafe sex in which someone gets pregnant. There's a lesson boys and girls. If you don't want babies and have unsafe sex with someone of the opposite sex someone may end up pregnant. Duh.) How cringeworthy. How awful. What an awful pop ballad. What an awesome pop ballad.

Whitney

We're going to be hearing about the untimely passing of Whitney Houston for weeks. Months. Maybe the rest of the year. This is likely to be news to absolutely no one by now. We witnessed the aftermath of Amy Winehouse's death last year played out in the media for what seemed like forever. Sorry, seems like forever. People are still looking into every unexplored aspect of her life, no matter how mundane or make believe. Before that it was Michael Jackson and now the same will happen to Whitney Houston, as everyone throws in their two-cents as to what led to yesterday's events. The notion of 'rest in peace,' while bandied about by everyone after a celebrity dies is more an expected expression of feigned interest than an actual statement of what one believes. I suppose that comes with the territory.


We're going to read again and again about all of the darkest times in Whitney Houston's life, we'll celebrate her greatest hits and send her back to the top of the charts for a week of two and then Whitney will fade from the spotlight once more. Life goes on? More likely, someone will have taken her place. That's the sad reality of living in a celebrity obsessed culture; the heroes that we love, hate, love-to-hate, joke about, celebrate achievements with, watch fall from grace and climb their way back to the top... these icons come and go. Whitney Elizabeth Houston was as iconic a singer as there will ever be. She had a voice that resonated with millions of listeners around the world, inspired a generation of female vocalists (Mariah Carey, Christina Aguilera, Jennifer Hudson, Leona Lewis) and left no one in denial of its tremendous power. Her beauty, attitude and talent saw her break down barriers to become the first great African-American female artist of the MTV generation.


All of the aspects of her personal life that you already know and will know more about soon - her addictions, her family dramas - we can leave them alone for a minute and focus on the best thing Whitney Houston gave the world; her voice. Listen to these five tremendous showcases of one of music's greatest talents and you won't have a choice. When Whitney Houston sings, her voice is the only thing you can focus on. Commanding, booming, beautiful... these are Whitney Houston's five greatest songs. Enjoy.

5. It's Not Right But It's Ok (1999)

4. Greatest Love of All (1986)

3. I Will Always Love You (1992)

2. I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me) (1987)

1. I Have Nothing (1993)

Whitney Houston, RIP. 

Top 25 Singers - Honourable Mentions

The voice...

Honourable Mentions

Tomorrow I'll be posting the numero uno singer, but for now let's take a quick look at some performers that just missed out on the countdown.

Brandi Carlile

David Gray

Whitney Houston

Van Morrison

Bonnie Raitt

Some amazing vocalists right there! Anyway, tomorrow, it's #1 time! Who's it going to be?

Top 100 Songs of the 1980s, #80 - 71

Are you ready for the next installment of the ultimate 80s countdown? Well, if you're looking for the ultimate 80s countdown... you're in the wrong place. You may want to head to Pitchfork or anywhere that has some form of credibility. But, if you're looking for It's My Kind of Scene's countdown... congratulations, you're in the right place. Enough with the chit-chat, let's get to it!

#80 - Bizarre Love Triangle (1986)

by New Order

Ah, most of today's songs are oh-so-very-80s with that distinctive New Wave sound. Example, 'Bizarre Love Triangle.' One of New Order's most celebrated tracks... and least commercially successful except in Australia where it peaked at #5. Rolling Stone had it listed at #201 in the 2004 edition of the 500 Greatest Songs of All Time.

#79 - Dancing In The Dark (1984)

by Bruce Springsteen

Bruuuuce! I'm not the Springsteen's biggest fan, but I know a great song when I hear it and this is definitely a great song.

#78 - Always Something There To Remind Me (1983)

by Naked Eyes

Wikipedia Fact of the Day: This song was originally a minor hit in the 60s! Penned by Burt Bacharach and Hal David, '(There's) Always Something There To Remind Me' wouldn't receive international recognition until twenty years later when these two crazy kids from Bristol did a cover of it. Thanks Wikipedia!

#77 - Here I Go Again (1982)

by Whitesnake

I don't know why, but my brother loved this song growing up. I don't know how, but it rubbed off on me and I like it too. Killer chorus.

#76 - Little Red Corvette (1983)

by Prince

Way before Prince turned himself into The Artist Formerly Known as Prince and that weird symbol, he was pumping out one successful song after the other and turning himself into one of the biggest superstars of the 80s. 'Little Red Corvette' was his first US top-10 hit, but certainly not his last.

#75 - Love Shack (1989)

by The B-52's

'Love Shack' walks the fine line of cheesy trash and awesomeness so well that it's more than deserving of a spot.

#74 - I Wanna Dance With Somebody (1987)

by Whitney Houston

Oh Whitney. Whitney, Whitney, Whitney. While your personal struggles have been splashed all over the media, at least you know you're musical legacy will always remain intact. At least in the 80s and 90s. 'I Wanna Dance With Somebody' still gets played in clubs today, and you know you're tracks good when it's still being played over 20 years after you released it.

#73 - Take On Me (1985)

by a-ha

#72 - True (1983)

by Spandau Ballet

I always crack up when 'True' shows up in a movie or on TV, but it's good. Really!

#71 - Let's Dance (1983)

by David Bowie

I don't get the connection between the song and the video, but it's Bowie and it's art (and art isn't meant to be understood, right?). Luckily, I can't find the original video to put on here anyway. But look it up sometime and feel my confusion.