It's All Coming Back To Me Now - The Best and Worst of the ARIA Awards

The Best and Worst of the ARIA Awards

by Jo Michelmore

So, the ARIA’s. (For those readers outside Australia, they’re the Australian Recording Industry Association Awards.) They’re on tonight, you know? Did you know? You do now. Whether you watch or not is totally up to you. I suggest finding a tasty beverage and a good book; you’ll at least be using some portion of your beautiful brain if you spend your evening that way. Maybe you should download an Australian album and have a dance around your lounge room. That would be productive as it would support the Australian music industry in some small way. Even better, if you’re feeling a little adventurous, find a little bar and a local band and actually go and watch some live music. You might discover something amazing. For goodness sake, even going to a dubious pub and watching someone sing INXS numbers at some dodgy karaoke event would be more exciting than the actual award ceremony.


If you do happen to watch the ARIA’s, you’re going to witness all sorts of under-dressed musicians (probably intoxicated) and a lot of awkward speeches, international ‘celebrities’ that have nothing to do with the Australian music industry and a bunch of old people that you won’t know, clapping for artists they’ve never heard of. I know this first hand. Yes it’s true, I myself have attended an awards ceremony, the ARIA’s poor cousin, the Australian Music Awards (no longer in existence), when I was a wee child, many years ago, a lot shorter and somewhat less fashionable than I am now (thank you to my parents for being so cool and taking me to a music awards show. Yep, it’s true, my parents rule.) I don’t actually remember a lot, except that it was full of annoying pauses, being told when to applaud and a lot of boredom. I don’t suppose the ARIA’s are much different.


It kind of upsets me that the ARIA’s are a bit of a joke. I mean, they’re Australia’s music industry night of nights, but they just end up being an embarrassment; to everyone. On the bright side, they were responsible for one of my favourite live TV moments ever, that infamous moment when Jessica Mauboy presented an award to Tame Impala for their ‘dee-but’ album in 2010. Then she said it twice. Brilliant. (It’s ok Jessica; I still like you, probably more after that.) One day I shall attend an ARIA ceremony and I shall be better dressed than the majority of those that liked to be called ‘celebrities’ and I shall also probably be more deserving of an award than most of the people who win. I shall drink some colourful beverages and I shall find Tim Rogers (who will be attending because he will still be as self-important as ever, years from now) and I shall slap him. It will be a good day. Until then, let’s look at when the ARIA awards have got it so right and then sometimes, so wrong….

Kylie Minogue

Let’s start with one of the most well-known and probably one of the best. Kylie. What is there to say about her that hasn’t already been said? This year marks her 25th year in the music industry and in that 25 years she’s managed to win three Brit awards, a Grammy, a whole bunch of MTV awards, she even won a couple of Logies and of course, sixteen ARIA’s so far, as well as being inducted into the ARIA Hall Of Fame, whatever that means. OK, I’ll admit it; every now and then the ARIA’s get it right.

Dannii Minogue

Yes, well, Kylie has this sister you see. She’s won some awards too. Like, the Glamour Award in 2007 (what?), a Smash Hits Award in 1991 (Smash who?) and the Number One Celeb Of The Year Award in 2008 (who votes and presents this award remains a mystery. Dannii herself, perhaps?) Dannii hasn’t even won a Logie, let alone an ARIA and rightly so. Congratulations ARIA’s, another time where you got it right. After all, there’s a reason Dannii is our ‘one head’ for some of our reviews. Among other atrocities, she was responsible for ‘This Is Shit It’ in 1993.

Predictions: ARIA Awards 2012

In two days time the biggest acts in Australian music (aka the good, the bad and the Reece Mastin) will compete against each other for Oz's greatest prizes. Nope, not talking about the J Awards. They've been given out already. I am of course talking about the ARIA Awards, to be shown not on a normal television channel, but on the less glamorous 'Go.' Wow.


It's been a huge year for the local industry, with Gotye kicking chart butt all over the world with 'Somebody That I Used To Know' and buzz bands like The Jezabels and The Temper Trap getting a whole lot of attention with the incredible albums, Prisoner and The Temper Trap. Aussie hip hop found a new king in 360, while the Hilltop Hoods have secured their status as a pioneering force for the genre. In a sign of the changing landscape, 360 leads the nominations list and is up for six awards including Album of the Year, Song of the Year and Best Male Artist.


Not-so-Australian, Kimbra is also looking to score back-to-back wins for Best Female Artist and has vowed to tear up the stage with a showstopping performance. The Jezabels, The Temper Trap, 360 and Jessica Mauboy are all lined up to perform. With that line-up, I might even watch the show. Just kidding. In all honesty though I'll just be watching because I'm sorta-kinda-maybe stalking Kimbra. What of it?


Anywho, since we all love to predict what's going to happen at these awards shows, I thought I'd throw my two-cents in. Let us know who you're tipping for top honours as well.

Breakthrough Artist - Release

 

360 - Falling and Flying

Alpine - A is For Alpine

Lanie Lane - To The Horses

Matt Corby - Brother

San Cisco - Awkward

Let's start with an easy one. All five artists are deserving winners (a rare moment of clarity, ARIA peeps?), but seriously... this is 360's to lose. Always go for the acts that are in contention for Album of the Year.

Who Should Win: Lanie Lane

Who Will Win: 360

Best Pop Release

 

Gotye - Making Mirrors

Guy Sebastian - Battle Scars

Jessica Mauboy - Gotcha

Kimbra - Vows

San Cisco - Awkward

See, this is where the ARIA's tend to be a bit of a fail to me. How can you have albums competing against singles? Last year Gotye won with 'Somebody That I Used To Know,' so should he even be allowed to go for awards again since Making Mirrors stood out based on that song alone? Sorry if the truth smacking you in the face hurt, Gotye fans. Regardless, Gotye is likely to come out of this year's show as a big winner. Even if Vows is the far superior album. 

Who Should Win: Kimbra

Who Will Win: Gotye 

Best Dance Release

 

Havana Brown - When The Lights Go Out

Hermitude - Hyperparadise

Ivan Gough and Feenixpawl ft. Georgi Kay - In My Mind

Knife Party - Rage Valley

Sneaky Sound System - From Here To Anywhere

I'm not going to pretend I know anything about Hermitude and Feenixpawl and friends, so let's remove them from the equation. H Brown. She's had a profile boost since that time I saw her DJing with no pants on at the Family. Chart success in the US of A with 'We Run The Night' and that song where she lures a dude to a party by leaving shoes everywhere in the video (I think he just wants to be friends?) make her a frontrunner. ARIA voters love it when someone hits it big overseas. But she shouldn't win. This is really between Knife Party and Sneaky Sound System. Two dudes from Pendulum who are wildly in demand on the dance scene (and deservedly so) versus a mostly forgotten but progressive electronic/pop duo that features one of the funnest vocalists in the country. 

Who Should Win: Sneaky Sound System

Who Will Win: Pendulum Knife Party

Best Group

 

Boy and Bear

Cold Chisel

Hilltop Hoods

The Jezabels

The Temper Trap

Who are Boy and Bear again? Cold Chisel get the nostalgic nod and if it's a hip hop heavy night, the Hilltop Hoods could walk out winner. But remember what I said about Album of the Year nominees? When they're up for a lesser award, expect them to win. In this case, there's two of them; The Jezabels and The Temper Trap. Both are deserving, so who's it going to be?

Who Should Win: The Jezabels

Who Will Win: The Jezabels

Best Male Artist

 

 360

Angus Stone

Gotye

Guy Sebastian

Keith Urban

Matt Corby

You know, part of me wants to see 360 win this. But Gotye did lead the Billboard Hot 100 for eight weeks this year. But that was in America. Oooooh. Tough one.

Who Should Win: Gotye

Who Will Win: Gotye 

Best Female Artist

 

Jessica Mauboy

Kimbra

Lanie Lane

Missy Higgins

Washington

I love you Kimbra, but following my trusty formula there's only one logical winner here. And she's Australian music's golden girl. Who's actually Australian. Thanks for coming Washington, Lanie Lane and J Mauboy!

Who Should Win: Kimbra

Who Will Win: Missy Higgins

Song Of The Year

 

360 ft. Gossling - Boys Like You

Delta Goodrem - Sitting On Top Of The World

Guy Sebastian - Don't Worry Be Happy

Hilltop Hoods ft. Sia - I Love It

Jessica Mauboy ft. Stan Walker - Galaxy

Justice Crew - Boom Boom

Matt Corby - Brother

Reece Mastin - Good Night

Ricki-Lee - Do It Like That

Timomatic - Set It Off

Sweet. Merciful. Zeus. I believe this is a fan voted award... which terrifies me. The thought of Delta Goodrem's 'Sitting On Top Of The World' winning should make me feel sick, but the thought of Reece Mastin or Timomatic or Justice Crew or Ricki Lee or Guy Sebastian winning for those songs... I need to take a moment. 

...

This is the worst thing to happen. Ever. Never put power like this in the hands of the general population.

Who Should Win: 360 ft. Gossling

Who Will Win: Someone awful.

Who Will Lose: People with taste. 

Album Of The Year

 

360 - Falling and Flying

Gotye - Making Mirrors

Missy Higgins - The Ol' Razzle Dazzle

The Jezabels - Prisoner

The Temper Trap - The Temper Trap

Five pretty awesome albums, but you can't really say who it's going to be. A 360 win would be huge. Gotye winning would cap off a ridiculously successful eighteen months. Missy Higgins is one of the country's greatest musical assests. The Jezabels have shown that they are a force to be reckoned with and The Temper Trap are... well... they're like Coldplay. But good. They should be playing stadium shows around the country right now. I honestly have no idea who's going to take this one out... and that kind of makes it a little bit interesting. Right?

Who Should Win: The Jezabels

Who Will Win: 360... or Gotye.  

New Music Monday #33

For The Wolfman

by Tired Lion

 

Probably my favourite thing the past couple of days has been hitting the play button again and again on the new track ‘For The Wolfman’ from Perth four piece Tired Lion. Beginning softly with the sweet voice of singer Sophie Hopes it only takes a verse to fall in love before the emotionally charged guitar kicks in and the vocal pleads “stay away from me….” There’s such a fresh, almost live sound to the song so with every listen I’m waiting for something different to happen and pleasantly surprised when it ends because it means I can hear it again from the start. The hypnotic guitar riff throughout is mesmerizing and with one song it’s obvious this is a band that know the power of light and dark and understand the pleasure in taking their listeners on a little journey through song. Although there are comparisons to a whole bunch of shoe-gazing 90’s alternative bands, I don’t like to cast a pre-conceived shadow over a band that clearly have their own talent and sound and hopefully have a big future ahead of them. You really should just press play, but be warned, you’ll be pressing it again and again….and again.

Jo Michelmore gives 'For The Wolfman' four Michael Hutchence's out of five...

Deep End

by Future Relative

Future Relative - Deep End from Alexander Jorgensen on Vimeo.

Brooklyn's Future Relative are one act you can mark as 'keep an eye on' in 2013. If their new track 'Deep End' is anything to go by, they're going to be offering us some of the greatest electronic/pop jams of the year. Borderline industrial and 100% ready for the floor, 'Deep End' is that perfect track to get you in the mood for a good dance and one massive night out. Future Relative bravely distance themselves from dance trends while maintaining a good grasp of what makes a pop tune work. It leaves you jumping around screaming, "I am a lonely hunter," along with vocalist Armand Aviram and, at the end of the day, that's all a great track really needs to do. We'll be keeping a close eye on these guys.

Matt Bond gives 'Deep End' four Shirley Manson's out of five...

NEW MUSIC VIDEOS OF THE WEEK:

Florence: She's just really sad and stuff.

Lover To Lover

by Florence + The Machine

 

Despite my attempts to resist the video for what seems like Florence's seventy-first single from Ceremonials, I just can't. It's Florence + The Machine. It's 'Lover To Lover.' It's beautifully shot and tells a great little story. Just one thing. Why is every indie chanteuse hooking up with an old fella in her video these days?

Matt Bond gives the 'Lover To Lover' video three Karen O's out of five...

Guy: He just really cares and stuff.

 

Get Along

by Guy Sebastian 

Guy Sebastian, it's not that I dislike him, it's just I can't find much to really like. There’s nothing especially offensive about this clip, but there’s absolutely nothing inspiring about it either, which is a problem when it’s obviously supposed to be a political statement; “dear God, dear soul, dear Mary, Mohammed, can we all just get along, can we all just get along?” Well, obviously not, or the world would be a very different place, wouldn’t it? Shots of Sebastian looking pensive interspersed with newsreel footage of people from all corners of the planet; this isn’t new, this isn’t life changing and this isn’t very good. Some musicians seem to be able to tread a fine line between entertainer and preacher/political analyst/commentator, but those that do it well are rare. The rest just seem fake and a little ignorant. I’m sorry Guy, but could you leave your preaching sentiments at home, there are already enough people with ill-informed opinions on this planet. How about you just stick to entertaining teenagers?   

Jo Michelmore gives the 'Get Along' video one Nikki Webster out of five... 

Gig Review - Gay Paris

GAY PARIS

Live @ Ric's, Fortitude Valley

Review by Katie Langley

I’ve told you all before, but I’ll tell you again. I love Gay Paris. They are one of my absolute favourite bands to see live. There are always beards, and a whole lot of boogie. Their show at Rics for the Death to Spring tour was no exception.


I was sceptical of their choice of venue; however, it proved to be the perfect place for crowd interaction, participation and perspiration.


They opened the set with “My First Wife? She Was a Fox Queen!”. The band were in fine form, as usual, however front man Luke Wailin’ H Monks was quick to observe that the crowd lacked a little spark, and assured us all that although their 9pm set was early, it was not too early to party. Thrust. No, really, he jumped off the stage and grinded on a man in the front row.


As the band introduced us to their new material, including single “The Demarcation Of Joseph Hollybone”, and the crowd downed a couple of extra drinks, the room started whipping into a frenzy. There was the usual hi-fiving, and victory cheering between the band and audience at the completion of each song. That will never get old for me.


My favourite moment in the set was when Luke encouraged crowd members to take off his pants, while he lay back on the stage and rapped. Could it get any better than this?


The antics continued with an impromptu crowd surf which saw drinks spilt everywhere. As everyone took a step backwards we realised that our head thrust-master was about to clock his head of the ground. Uh oh. The lady in front of me saved the day. Phew.


By the time the band launched into “The Black Tooth Supper Club", the crowd was well and truly in the zone. Random punters started pouring in, intrigued by the skinny ginger man in his underpants. During this song a member of the audience jumped on stage and lent a hand to vocals. It was amazing.


There’s a certain standard that you come to expect from their shows – stripping, hi-fiving, thrusting – but there’s always the element of surprise. The band really thrive off of the audience, be it men with obnoxious shirts, or busty goths. It’s this element of surprise that keeps me going back for more. That, and all the beards.


I love Gay Paris.

Top 20 - 25 November, 2012

Crystal Castles' Alice. She got sad eyes...

1. Flight Facilities ft. Christine Hoberg - Clair De Lune





2. Crystal Castles - Sad Eyes (NEW)


 


3. Guards - Coming True (NEW)


 


4. Sarah Blasko - Cast The Net





5. Abbe May - Karmageddon

It's All Coming Back To Me Now - A Love Letter To The 90s Pop Ballad

90s Whitney. Sigh...

It's been seven hours and fifteen days (not exact number) since….” I found myself out on a Friday night, well, actually, a Saturday morning, about 2am, surrounded by intoxicated people singing along, word for word to a song I've been known to love “…I go out every night and sleep all day, since you took your love away…” yep, it’s an involuntary thing isn’t it? You know the words, we all know the words, whether you like the song or not. They find themselves being screamed at people across bars at 2am, unexpectedley, they find themselves being sung along to whenever they're played. “I said nothing can take away these blues, 'cause nothing compares, nothing compares to you”. Yep, the curse of the pop ballad is that they manage to seep into your subconsious and no matter where you hear them, you'll know some of the words at some stage and before you know it you'll be singing along. No decade was more in love with the pop ballad than the 90's. I’m happy to admit it, I love some of them. Like the 80’s rock ballad we discussed earlier this month, the 90’s pop ballad is a secret (not so secret) love of mine. They’re the types of songs that you will either cry with or laugh hysterically at, but either way, we've all belted out a pop ballad at some stage....right?

Show Me Heaven

by Maria McKee, 1990

It starts with the words; ”There you go, flashing fever from your eyes”. I have no idea what that means. Flashing fever from your eyes sounds quite dramatic and possibly something that should be checked out by a medical professional. There’s also references to shaking like a breeze (which begs the question, how do breezes shake?) and shivers down her spine, which sounds like the possibility of a disorder of the nervous system. This song is just full of symptoms of larger medical problems, isn’t it? At least she’s polite, I suppose, for she does ask "show me heaven, please". My mum said politeness would get you far in life, but maybe she was wrong. I mean, where are you now Maria?

All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You

by Heart, 1990

Long story short: girl in relationship with man wants kid, man can’t manage to help produce kid. Girl finds a one night stand, one night stand 'helps her be woman numerous times' in one night (yes, first of many terrible lyrics in this song) and gets her pregnant. She tells man she is in relationship with that the baby is his. One day she runs into one night stand on the street, in a shop, at a burger joint (the place is irrelevant, but I imagine they are the types of places she hangs out). One night stand recognises the kid as his own. She begs him not to tell anyone, then continues on her chorus about all she wants to do is make love to you, which is either her partner or the one night stand, who knows by this stage? It’s a four minute song. A lot can happen in that time. Ok, so long story not shortened that much, but I have to say, this song also contains some of my least favourite lyrics, in any song, ever. Here, I'll share them with you; “I told him I am the flower you are the seed, we walked in the garden we planted a tree”. (Yes, that’s referencing sex. Unsafe sex in which someone gets pregnant. There's a lesson boys and girls. If you don't want babies and have unsafe sex with someone of the opposite sex someone may end up pregnant. Duh.) How cringeworthy. How awful. What an awful pop ballad. What an awesome pop ballad.

10 and 1 - Guess That's Why They Call It Window Pain

For some unknown reason I've been listening to a whole lot of Eminem lately. Not just his newer albums, I've been listening to practically his whole catalogue. Like many of you, I was a big fan of the outrageous white boi rapper from Detroit who seemed to be on a mission to offend as many people as humanly possible. Who didn't love that? Maybe this love was what was blinding me to just how painfully funny some of Eminem's lyrics are. The emphasis there is on the painful section of painfully. I've compiled ten of my favourites below, for your perusal. Some are the good 'ha ha' kind of funny. Some are really not that kind of funny. But they're so bad, they're... you know the rest. And since this is the 10 and 1, I'll throw in one of the King of Hip Hop's best lines too. Enjoy!  

THE 10:

I feel like my head has been shredded like lettuce and cabbage.

'Cum On Everybody' - THE SLIM SHADY LP

It's funny... because it's so bad. You would think the worst thing about a song called 'Cum On Everybody' would be the title. You would be wrong. Nothing says total badass MC like comparing your state of mind to the two most harmless vegetables in the world. 

So Gwen Stefani, will you pee pee on me please?

I ain't never seen an ass like that.

Cuz the way you move it, you make my pee pee go doing, doing, doing.

'Ass Like That' - ENCORE

It's funny... when you think of the look on Gwen Stefani's face when she heard that line. I imagine it was something like this: 

Oh hell no.

New Music Monday #32

Put it away, love...

Lotus (Album)

by Christina Aguilera

 

Open ears, open mind. I promised myself I'd listen to Christina Aguilera's latest album, Lotus, while embodying that mantra. She made it hard. Oh boy... did she make it hard. Over sixteen tracks that range from pop gems to absolute garbage, we're reminded in a most frustrating way that Aguilera has completely lost any sense of who she is as a performing artist.


Let's wind the clocks back for a bit of storytelling. The lazily nicknamed Xtina emerged as the skankalicious rival to the sweet and innocent Britney Spears. She went from dirrty assless chaps and rat-like dreads to Golden Age Hollywood glamour as cray cray Britney got into fights with cars armed only with an umbrella. Christina took home the Grammys and won respect from the industry and her fans with hit after hit and her undeniably amazing voice. People loved her when she was a skanky ho, leaving not a soul shocked when she pashed Madonna at the VMAs and people loved her when she had a bit of class. She had direction and she was incredibly talented. One of the most celebrated vocalists of her generation. Now? She's sort of just there, enjoying her reclaimed fame as a judge on The Voice who's trying a little too hard to compete with the Lady-Katy-Ke$ha's out there.


Lotus, Aguilera's seventh album is all over the place. Different genres, out of place collaborations, heartbreaking ballads, ready for the club anthems; there's too many different Christina's fighting against each other and I'm pretty sure you can figure out which one stands out. The one you want to hear more of. Christina Aguilera, badass vocalist. Duh. As she sings through the Sia penned 'Blank Page,' you have no choice but to appreciate how beautiful her voice is. This is the young woman who blew us all away when she tore the house down with 'It's A Man's World' at the Grammy Awards in 2007. With 'Blank Page' you almost find yourself forgiving the indistinguishable bulk of Lotus; 'Red Hot Kinda Love,' 'Let There Be Love,' 'Cease Fire,' 'Around the World.' I could keep going. Is that even Xtina singing on 'Circles?'

 

The duets with Voice judges Cee-Lo Green and Blake Shelton aren't necessarily bad, they just seem bizarrely placed amongst the other tracks. Especially the Shelton duet, 'Just A Fool.' Kelly Clarkson must have bailed on Blake in the studio that day. It's a nice showcase for Aguilera's voice, but it's a country-rock ballad. How does it fit in with the other songs? It doesn't. 'Light Up The Sky' is the big torch anthem. It's a great pop track that shows off Aguilera's voice with a memorable, thundering and uplifting chorus. A much more suitable choice for a second single than the already selected 'Just A Fool.' All good things must come to an end and in this case, things get ridiculous with the album's closing track 'Shut Up.' Seriously, after hearing that chorus I really did want you to "shut the f--- up" Christina. Closing with a tacky, annoying number really doesn't do you any favours. 

Open ears, open mind. You're going to need both to survive an encounter with Lotus. The brief glimpses of a bonafide superstar are rewarding, but, like I just said... brief. Here's hoping Christina takes a step back and reflects on just who she really wants to be now. Because, sadly, this album is her worst. Ever. And I can't even name a song other than 'Genie In A Bottle' from her first one. Except for 'What A Girl Wants.' And 'I Turn To You.' That is all.

Matt Bond gives Lotus two Ke$ha's out of five...

Coming True

by Guards

New York City's Guards sure know how to make you forget about crappy music you may or may not have just been listening to. I know nothing about them, but I'm loving this track 'Coming True.' As anthemic and catchy a chorus as you're likely to hear in the indie world these days and that's saying a lot. Guards don't seem like they're trying to force anything or be who they aren't. Just listen to the song. You'll love it.

Matt Bond gives 'Coming True' four Shirley Manson's out of five... 

NEW MUSIC VIDEO OF THE WEEK:

We Own The Sky

by Neon Wolf

 

We love Neon Wolf. We love 'We Own The Sky.' It really shouldn't surprise you then that we love the video for their new single 'We Own The Sky.' Young Irish kids living it up in the sunshine and rocking out in the forest at night. I'd say it's perfectly complimentary. The closing shot of the smiling lass with the flare was perfect. And almost enough to make me forget how... interesting... some of the kids looked dancing. Great video and we hope 'We Own The Sky' kicks chart butt in Ireland and beyond.

Matt Bond gives the 'We Own The Sky' video three Karen O's out of five...

Text Review - Harvest Festival 2012

HARVEST FESTIVAL 2012

Live from the Botanic Gardens, Brisbane - 18/11/2012.

Reviewed through the wonders of text messaging...

Ah, the one day music festival. A day chock full of rushing around to catch glimpses of your favourite acts, wasted time in toilet queues, wasted time in drink lines, sunshine, friends... it's pretty awesome. Did I say sunshine? Sorry, I meant rain and hail and getting kicked out of tents because of lightning strike fears and superstorm Shaz! That's what you would have copped today at the Harvest Festival. While Jo Michelmore was dancing in the rain and reviewing bands (and dodging ice bullets) with Cordell, Matt Long and Nayt (friends of It's My Kind of Scene), Matt Bond was sitting at home eating cakes and pie while sending Jo useless text after useless text. You now get to read about all this and more in the 2012 Harvest Festival text review. Because there's no better way to review something than by text. Enjoy.

8:25am

Jo: Harvest review part one (from my bed): awoken by loud claps of thunder and heavy rain. This would normally be lovely. Today? Not so. Weather, you suck. Thoughts of where are my gumboots and where did I put my poncho? Actual thoughts of can I be bothered? Uuuuuurgghhhh. 

Matt: Did you see this superstorm is called Shaz? Only in Australia. 

12:00pm

Matt: Has Harvest kicked off yet?

Jo: Started at 11 but I'm just trying to convince myself to get ready now. Aiming to see Dandy's at 2. The weather is a little teeny bit clearer now, so to poncho or not to poncho, that is the question. 

Matt: To poncho. Stay dry. Fuck you Harvest! 

Jo: Wise you are. Poncho it is then. Fuck you Harvest! 

2:37pm

Jo: Hi from Harvest! Any textual grammar and spelling imperfections can be blamed on texting through a ziplock bag. Dexys: it's raining. You old. Dandys: its sunny. You old. (On a side note, CTT has lost weight and it doesn't look like a train wreck is going to happen. Both disappointing and impressive.)

Matt: Yell out I love Jim Jones and see if he has a meltdown. 

4:34am

Jo: Silversun Pickups: wow, I didn't realise there was a Dandy Warhols not as good as the originals cover band in the lineup. Twice the Dandy! Maybe. Mike Pattons Mondo Cane: what a weird great weird slightly portly weird unattractive weird multi-linguist weird great probably talented man you are Mr Patton. You also managed to attract an audience containing bogans yelling Faith No More lyrics and others drinking Jamesons straight from the bottle. How interesting. Well done.

5:18pm

Jo: Cake: what do I say about a band that tells me to enjoy it cause they're probably never coming back again? Um, I say this... shut your cakehole and fuck off. It's indicative of your performance that all I can think about while you're playing are sweet treats. Maybe there's a bakery caravan here somewhere. The Black Angels: at every festival there's always a band that you accidentally stumble across and love. This is that band for me. Bluesy, rootsy, rock, goodness. Love. 

Matt: Hey I just ate cake! 

Matt: ...And pie. 

6:11pm

Jo: We were kicked out of a tent due to risk of lightning strikes. Its hailing on us. Its cold and Matt is getting molested by a fat NZ man in the happy high herbs tent. This is so bizarre. Help me. Help us somehow. The apocalypse has begun. 

Jo: This text review has taken a weird turn...

Matt: Sweet merciful Zeus. First things first; save Matt Long. If it's the end of the world, no one deserves to be going out whilst a fat new zealander molests them. Second, Beck isn't worth it. What? Sorry. Awkies. 

Jo: Beck can suck it! Matt is ok but the food vans have closed. Now we'll die of hunger while we wait for the next storm to roll through. Also, my arse is uncomfortably wet and cold. This is equally hilarious and crap.

Matt: It's making for a wonderful review though... ?

7:07pm

Jo: Storm: cold, heavy and electrifying, you demanded a lot from your audience, you left the crowd in fear and slightly bruised, but goddamn, you were more entertaining that a whole bunch of others in todays lineup. 

7:57pm

Jo: Ben Folds: if you organised that storm as a support act, it was one of the best I've seen, but you're alright too. I will admit I'm distracted by what came before you. Sorry! Your adoring audience loved you though! Beck: I was thinking Beck was a funny little guy, kinda like Prince, then he sang Raspberry Beret and things about devils and haircuts and nachos and I was happy and maybe also a little bit psychic. Then I danced. 

8:46pm

Jo: Grizzly Bear: neither grizzly nor bears, this is somewhat confusing. Is Santigold on yet?

Matt: Why were the dandy warhols on so early?

Jo: I don't know! They are old. Probably time for bed by now.

9:21pm

Jo: YES!!!! Santigold! Front row baby!!!!

Matt: Is anyone else still at the festival? I joke. I kid. Have an awesome time. 

Jo: No, duh, everyone left. It's just me, a weird guy in a spotty poncho and some weird skinny creep. Shut up! Santigold! Yay!

Matt: Why do you have to pick on Nayt and Matt all the time? I keep telling you, Matt is not creepy. And I bet Nayt looks quite fetching in a spotty poncho.  

10:39pm

Jo: Santigold: I got my ticket purely for this. It was worth every second, every hailstone, every single minute of waiting. Love love love. A-MA-ZING!!!!!! Was cut short because of the storm and was only 30 mins but the best 30 mins all day. Love. Love. Love. Happy face.

At this point, Matt is already in a pie-induced sleep coma. 

11:35pm  

Jo: There you go! Another text review complete. Harvest! Hot, cold, sunny, rainy, hailstorm and hunger, bananas and bums and lots and lots and lots of music. Just another festival really, but most definitely fun. 

Gig Review (?) - Henry Wagons

Henry Wagons

Live @ Jet Black Cat Music, West End

by Jo Michelmore

 

Two unexpected things happened this weekend. One involved dark clouds and pounding rain and a little havoc and a lot of unhappy trees in my neighbourhood. The other one was an unexpected event of a different kind. It involved guitars and stories and laughs and the type of entertainment that can only be had every now and then, usually in tiny, comfortable spaces, one of those being a record store.


Henry Wagons has been doing his thing, well, probably all his life, but I first happened across him (probably a little late) supporting Seeker Lover Keeper last year, although I believe he’d been making a name for himself for a few years before that. I didn’t know what to expect from that gig in St Johns Cathedral and I was at first taken aback with his country/rock/bluesy sound in such a venue, but once he’d finished I was won over with his charm, incredible voice and sense of humour and performance. Having not seen him live since, I was pleasantly surprised to be wandering the streets of West End in Brisbane and visit Jet Black Cat Music, who were lucky enough to have the fabulous Henry Wagons grace the doors of their delightful little store. Although normally accompanied by his band of cohorts, various friends and others, this was solo Wagons, just Henry and his guitar, a microphone and mobile phone which was keeping everyone updated on the whereabouts of his band mates who were stuck at the airport, drinking champagne while their front man entertained a tiny but appreciative crowd of fans and passers-by. Those who did pass by missed out, for those of us who ventured inside Jet Black Cat were treated to what was not just an excellent performance but a conversation with Henry. We heard about his experiences at the Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame and his love of Elvis Presley, his friend’s issues with sewer rats and flies, his Aunt’s family suitcase, his experience of working with Robert Forster, his need to never see any ghosts (agree wholeheartedly Henry!), what sounded like great and unfortunate times that led to the writing of a requested song, ‘Goodtown’ and we were introduced to the concept of a solo duet with oneself. It was an intimate performance and it was the perfect way to spend lunchtime on a stormy Saturday. His voice is amazing, so strong, almost robust in some instances and calm exactly where it needs to be. His song writing is wonderful, every song a story I can’t stop listening to, a glimpse into the world of Wagons.

I wasn’t expecting the performance I saw in that tiny little record store this weekend. I thought it might be nice to swing by and pick up a couple of LP’s, but what I discovered was so much better than a simple vinyl could provide. To hear a musician chat about their songs, belting out their tunes and playing their guitar with everything they have only a metre or so away is incredible. There’s something awe inspiring about seeing your favourite musicians jumping about and singing their hearts out in front of thousands of fans but there’s something spine tingling and precious about seeing someone with the same amount of energy and love for their music put in the same amount of effort for twenty or so people in a record store, in the middle of the day. I could see Henry easily in either situation and be equally impressed by both. There’s a special talent in the ability to do that and it’s a talent that should be applauded and admired more. I applauded it by leaving Jet Black with an LP and a tea towel (now that’s impressive merchandise!) but what I had been given in return was a musical experience that I’ll remember with a smile and talk about for weeks and months to come.

Maybe three unexpected things happened yesterday. A storm, a performance and a little bit of me found a new favourite love. One little room, one little performance and I could be hooked. Henry Wagons? Hi! Come back soon? I think I could be your newest, biggest fan.

Top 20 - 18 November, 2012

The Blasko!

1. Sarah Blasko - Cast The Net (#1 for 3 weeks!)


 


2. Flight Facilities ft. Christine Hoberg - Clair De Lune





3. CSS - I've Seen You Drunk Gurl





4. Crystal Castles - Transgender





5. Foals - Inhaler

It's All Coming Back To Me Now - More Mo, Mo, Mo

Who doesn't love a vintage moustache?

More Mo, Mo, Mo

by Jo Michelmore

Since Katie started us off this week, let’s continue the theme, vintage style. Some people love them, some people hate them. Some people think they’re creepy; some people love the fact that they’re creepy. Some people can hold their own with one; some people look like something crawled out of their mouth and took up residence just below their nose. Some people grow them once a year for a charity event and some people actually raise money for said charity, which is nice. Some people like them right now because it seems to be a thing, a trend, a fashion one might say, some people like them right now because they always have, since the first time they were in, which was….sometime, I’m sure. Me? Take it or leave it, really, depends on the person sporting it, doesn’t it? I probably prefer one in conjunction with other facial hair, as in, not a lone outcrop of hair on ones lip, but as part of a forest of hair around one’s chin and cheeks and other parts of one’s face. Of course, it’s the moustache we speak of and many a musician has sported a moustache, some good, some not so good. Let’s start with…

Ace Of Spades

by Motorhead, 1980

Lemmy, king of metal to so many. Lemmy, King of facial hair to so many others. I dare not say anything bad about Lemmy, people love him and the people who love him REALLY love him and his moustache. I wouldn’t dare offend them, or him. That, and I just wanted an excuse to post the Ace Of Spades. Don’t tell me you haven’t found the opportunity to scream “THE ACE OF SPADES, THE ACE OF SPADES” at someone once in your life? No? Shame. You should work on that. Work on your moustache too. It’s probably not anywhere near as manly as Lemmy’s, who sports what I think is one of the man-liest moustaches in music. Whether that’s a good thing or not is up to you.

When Doves Cry

by Prince, 1984

I’m not going to say I don’t like Prince, because I do. I think he’s an incredibly talented man, with music, but one talent he doesn’t have? The ability to grow facial hair. You’re a funny little guy, aren’t you Prince? On one hand, such a musician, on the other, such a creep. That strange little line above your lip, it took until 1:57 in this clip to even tell if that was a moustache and not just the casting of shadow from your nose. “Dig if you will the picture, of you and I engaged in a kiss, the sweat of your body covers me, can you my darling, can you picture this?” No, Prince, no! I can’t picture that because it’s horrible and weird and creepy, like that thing on your face. Stop it.

I Want To Break Free

 by Freddie Mercury's Mo/Queen, 1984

This is one of my favourite clips of all time*. (*Not an exaggeration) There is possibly nothing** I love more than a man, dressed in a leather skirt with one dirty great big moustache on his face, doing household chores. (**Possibly an exaggeration.) My favourite Queen clip? This one, obviously. It’s got one of my favourite openings for a clip, ever, then Freddie gets his shirt off and his leather pants and double belt on and his hairy chest out, then, just when I think it can’t get any better, the interpretative dancing kicks in. All of this and Freddie sports one of the most famous moustaches in rock history. Love.

Hello

 by Lionel Richie, 1984

I know, three moustaches from 1984? Perhaps this was the height of moustache-ism. Perhaps this was when the moustache was the hottest. Who knows? Lionel knows. Hello Lionel, hello Lionel’s moustache. You can’t have one without the other. When you think of Lionel Richie, what first comes to mind? I know, me too; “hello, is it me you’re looking for?” No, not really Lionel, I’m not looking for you. I am looking for your stylist though, because they really need a slapping. Someone should have told you by now. The mo has got to go.

Learn To Fly

by Foo Fighters, 1999

Dave Grohl has sported facial hair of all descriptions in his time. Full beard, part beard, goatee, part goatee, part moustache, nude face. Never was his facial hair more moustache-y than in this clip, which is classic Foo. There’s the midi version of the song at the start, Dave getting hot for…himself, straight men in drag, a funny little story to go with it all and some of the finest moustaches of the late 90’s. This is one of the reasons I unashamedly love Dave Grohl and his Foos.

TKO

 by Le Tigre, 2004

JD Samson, you have the best moustache any woman in music has ever sported.

Dani California 

by Red Hot Chili Peppers, 2006

I’m going to admit something here. There have been times when I have thought of Anthony Keidis as one of the sexiest men in music. Sometimes. Covered in silver paint in Give It Away, all pensive like in My Friends, some of your various sock incidents, even with the blonde hair and looking a little worn in Otherside; you’ve been a hot man at times Anthony, even with your long face. I’d have gone there. But the moustache? What? What are you doing with your life? I’m sorry, I just don’t get it. I don’t like it. I still like you, but that hairy upperlip has got to go or there’s no chance for us Anthony. I’m sorry.

Johnny Depp...

...anytime, ever.

So, he’s not technically a musician, but he does play instruments. So he’s probably not that good at them, but neither are you. What? It’s Johnny Depp ok, and he’s sported the hottest moustache ever known to humanity*** (***not an exaggeration, whatsoever, at all). Anyway, this is what I’m writing, if I want to include Johnny Depp, I will. You love it, deal with it. You don’t love it? You can stop reading now. You’re not welcome here. For those still reading, Johnny is friends with one of my favourite musicians, Eddie Vedder. This makes me happy. Sometimes they appear on stage together. This makes me happy. Sometimes, Johnny is sporting a moustache when he does this. Oh stop it. Life doesn’t get better than this. Enjoy.