10 and 1 - Best Songs of All Time, 2000 Edition

Remember when I used to post a 10 and 1 every week? No... neither do I. But hey, here we are with the first one since August 2015 so... yeah. Hey. What you do wit' your bad self? Anyway, I found my collection of old CD's that I burned with music I liked back in the day and tried to play some of them to see if they still worked. A lot of them didn't. One of them did though and here we are, me with some inspiration to write something and you with some... time... to waste or something? Anyway, as always, thanks for spending it with me for as long as it takes your purty fingers to scroll on down. "What was this CD you were talking about?" you say, as you try to burn the memory of the words 'purty fingers' from your mind. It's made up of eleven songs, ranked from #1 to #11, of 12 year old me's favourite songs. How do I know this? The simple title on the CD... 'Best Songs of All Time, 2000'. That kid was great, thinking he could have a favourite song. Never putting on weight. Looking tanned all the time. What? We were talking about how these days it's not even possible to think of a list of the best songs of all time. That's just crazy talk. But Matt Bond, age 12? He knew what was what. So, come with me music fans and discover what I used to think were the greatest songs to ever be delivered unto us. Ten of them hold up quite well. One, not so much. So there's your 10 and 1 scenario. Let's get to it...

BEST SONGS OF ALL TIME

(according to 12 year old me):

THE TEN:

KILLING ME SOFTLY

by The Fugees

MASCARA

by Killing Heidi

BRICK

by Ben Folds Five 
 

MISS YOU LOVE

by Silverchair

SLIDE

by Goo Goo Dolls

SHIMMER

by Fuel

DEEPER WATER

by Deadstar

ADDICTED TO BASS

by Josh Abrahams and Amiel

SANTA MONICA

by Everclear

MISSING

by Everything But The Girl

THE ONE:

NOBODY KNOWS

by The Tony Rich Project

Why? What were you thinking, me? Nobody knows it but me but I don't know what was going on here. Did I fall for the silky smooth vocals? For the most part, I seemed to fall into a commercial adult alternative sound way back when, but here we are with Tony Rich and what ever happened to Tony Rich and his project? So many questions for which we might never have answers. I suppose we could just Google those last ones, but meh. Those vocals are smooth though, right? Maybe 12 year old me wasn't so crazy after all... 

 

10 and 1 - Stop Children What's That (BIG)Sound?

BIGSOUND LIVE 2015 PREVIEW

by Matt Bond

With Splendour all but a muddy memory for the thousands of music fans lucky (?) enough to attend, everybody's attention should now be placed firmly on the BIGSOUND conference and Live event. BIGSOUND Live is not only THE place to find the next great Aussie acts, but you get to enjoy showcases from some of the country's greatest established artists. By day, you can head to the conference to listen to talks from speakers encompassing all aspects of the music industry. By night, you can get on down to incredible music as the Live event takes over the best of Brisbane's Fortitude Valley gig venues for two nights in September (9th and 10th). The team here at It's My Kind of Scene rate BIGSOUND Live as our favourite two nights of the year, as we've discovered some of our absolute favourites there over the past three years.


Little May, Thelma Plum, Tkay Maidza, Bad//Dreems, Karl S. Williams, Kira Puru + The Bruise, The Hello Morning, The Trouble With Templeton, Clairy Browne and The Bangin' Rackettes, Adalita and more... we've gotten to take in showcases from a truly impressive range of musicians that we've fallen in love with or fallen in love with even more. BIGSOUND is the best. And this year's line-up promises another amazing BIGSOUND Live adventure, so I've picked out ten acts I would love to see. It's a 10 and 1, so I'm supposed to throw out an act I don't want to see, but this is BIGSOUND and everyone is there because they deserve to be... so I'll come up with a cop-out 1 while you take in the music of 10 of BIGSOUND 2015's best.

THE 10:

Ali Barter

Ayla

BANFF

HOWQUA

I Know Leopard

Major Leagues

NGAIIRE

Tempura Nights

Tired Lion

Winterbourne





THE ONE (?):


Whoever Is Playing When Those 10 Previously Mentioned Acts Are On...
Sorry :(

You should see everyone! Which isn't possible, but you'll do your best as you run around the Valley trying to get in as much music as you can. It's like a marathon, but with bands. Enjoy! Don't forget to get 'yo tickets now over at the BIGSOUND site. You can check out the full line-up too and see who'll be speaking at the conference if you're keen to head along. It will be well worth it.

10 and 1 - My Anaconda Don't Want None Unless You Got Bad Blood

Things that are totally worth fighting about... VMA nominations.

SOME VIDEOS FOR MTV'S CONSIDERATION...

by Matt Bond

Do you like that snazzy title I came up with? I sure hope no one else has thought of it. I even Googled it to make sure no one has. Snazzy, right? Anyway, because I'm hip to what the kids are jiving to these days, I hear that Nicki Minaj has 'beef' with her lack of 'nomm-age' in the category for Video Of The Year at the upcoming MTV Video Music Awards. 

History lesson... MTV stands for Music TeleVision. It's a channel on the TV box that used to be like I am, hip to what the kids are jiving to, and once upon a time played only music and shows that featured animated characters making fun of music. Now it has shows like the Scream series no one wanted and some reality shows about teen mums or something. I don't really know. They also bust out the Video Music Awards once a year to pretend they still care about music. In the past, the VMA's honoured iconic clips like Sinead O'Connor's 'Nothing Compares 2 U', The Smashing Pumpkins' 'Tonight Tonight' and Lauryn Hill's 'Doo Wop (That Thing)' with the title of Video of the Year. More recently, winners have included Beyonce's 'Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)', Rihanna's 'We Found Love' and Lady Gaga's 'Bad Romance'. 

This year's ceremony promises to be a delight, with Miley Cyrus hosting and the Video of the Year category being contested by Beyonce's '7-11', Kendrick Lamar's 'Alright', Mark Ronson's 'Uptown Funk', Ed Sheeran's 'Thinking Out Loud' and T-baby Swift's 'Bad Blood'. Notably absent, in the mind of the artist, is Nicki Minaj's 'Anaconda'. A video that features one of my favourite YouTube comments of all time... "This porn has an intriguing soundtrack." Minaj busted out some commentary on her influence on pop culture that you can catch up on ANYWHERE if you haven't already and really, you can't argue with it. 'Anaconda' is one of the most viewed clips of all time on YouTube and it showed everyone what twerking is supposed to be. Truly impressive booty shaking to be viewed right there. Miley, take note. 

Minaj made comments about gals of a more slender frame getting nominated and not her, which brought Tay to her yard with her usual GIRRL POWER enthusiasm and then Nicki was like, "bitch, did I name you?! Naw." And then a highly confident Swifty was all like, "Lolz, luv you bae, you wanna come on stage with me when I win?" And then Taylor was out of there while Minaj went on a bit of a tangent. I guess it would be hard for Taylor not to be thinking it was directed at her personally. None of the other videos were jam-packed with gals of a more slender frame, were they? I'm trying to be so PC here, give me points for that. Nicki would go on to talk about Ellen and Beyonce loving her video, how she thought the 'Feeling Myself' collab-video with her and Beyonce should be nominated too and that people hate Tidal and love Taylor for taking her music off Spotify. I'm sorry, I think I'm over how lame this is now. The only question we need to ask is... Is the video for 'Anaconda' of a high enough quality to be nominated for 'Video of the Year'. In my humble opinion, it is not. Nicki Minaj is beautiful and much more talented than what 'Anaconda' would suggest. Her 'Pinkprint Movie' was actually impressive and beautifully shot. The video for 'Anaconda' was painfully average, much like the song.

So... you're waiting for me to get to the '10 and 1' part of my rambling and here it comes. Ten videos that deserve to be nominated for 'Video Of The Year' at this year's VMA's instead of 'Anaconda'. And if you want to put yourself through it one more time... You've figured out what the one is, right? 

THE TEN:

THE NEW INTERNATIONAL SOUND PT. II

by GENER8ION + M.I.A

WHAT KIND OF MAN

by Florence + The Machine





GEORGIA
by Vance Joy 

PEDESTRIAN AT BEST

by Courtney Barnett





LIONSONG
by Bjork





DOWN TO EARTH
by Flight Facilities 
 




BITCH BETTER HAVE MY MONEY
by Rihanna





BLANK SPACE
by Taylor Swift

Because it's way better than 'Bad Blood'. 

RADIOFACE

by Gang of Youths

 THE PINKPRINT MOVIE

by Nicki Minaj

THE ONE:

ANACONDA

by Nicki Minaj

Art.

10 and 1 - Florence + The Machine

Since our artist of the month is Florence + The Machine, I thought I'd do up a little list of my ten favourite Flo + friends songs. Which was really hard since, you know, the band has A LOT of great tracks. And I've spent several periods of time in my life just a little bit obsessed with many of said tracks and the new album How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful has only been out for a couple of weeks... but a list was to be completed and so it was! My regular writing gig... or semi-regular... or once in a blue moon writing gig, whatever, is the 10 and 1. You know how it works by now; 10 of something, one of the opposite of those somethings. How was I to loosely make this apply to Florence + The Machine's top ten tracks? Well, I'm going to mix things up a 'lil and countdown the top 10 tracks from 10 to 1. And then I'm going to come up with something while I'm writing to be the 1 of the 'and 1' title. Surprise? Let's just focus on some Florence goodness, k?

THE 10:

10. REMAIN NAMELESS

from the Ceremonials Deluxe Edition

I was born in a big grey cloud

Screaming out a love song.

9. QUEEN OF PEACE

from How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful

Suddenly I'm overcome, dissolving like the setting sun

Like a boat into oblivion, 'Cause you're driving me away.

#8. HEAVY IN YOUR ARMS

from The Twilight Sage: Eclipse OST

My love has concrete feet, my love's an iron ball

Wrapped around your ankles, over the waterfall.

#7. YOU'VE GOT THE LOVE

from Lungs - Candi Staton cover song

Sometimes I feel like throwing my hands up in the air

I know I can count on you.

#6. GIRL WITH ONE EYE

from Lungs

I'll cut your little heart out 'cause you made me cry.

#5. NEVER LET ME GO

from Ceremonials

And it's over

And I'm going under

But I'm not giving up

I'm just giving in.

#4. WHAT KIND OF MAN

from How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful

And with one kiss, you inspired a fire of devotion

That lasted 20 years

What kind of man loves like this?

#3. SHAKE IT OUT

from Ceremonials

And I've been a fool and I've been blind

I can never leave the past behind.

#2. DOG DAYS ARE OVER

from Lungs

The dog days are over, the dog days are done

The horses are coming, so you'd better run.

#1. COSMIC LOVE 

from Lungs

I took the stars from my eyes and then I made a map

I knew that somehow I could find my way back

Then I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too

So I stayed in the darkness with you.

THE ONE:

Live From The Hammersmith Apollo - London, 2010

Well, I wasn't exactly going to make the 1 a bad song, because Florence + The Machine don't have any. So, um... here they are, live @ London's Hammersmith Apollo. I was there. Seriously. Don't be jealous. One of the best gigs I've ever been to. Enjoy!  

                

10 and 1 - Matt's Music

A.K.A IF YOU A FLY GAL, GET YOUR NAILS DONE...

GET A PEDICURE, GET YOUR HAIR DID

by Matt Bond

Mixtapes are making a comeback! Or so I quickly read yesterday on an article title that showed up in my news feed on Facebook, sandwiched between a billion Caitlyn Jenner pieces. Something about USB sticks that look like cassette tapes the kids can pass around instead of meth. We apparently have an ice epidemic, so I'm just assuming kids are passing it around. But the mixtape is back and don't I know it. Heading off home at my parents' place on Monday, my Dad handed me an old CD that said 'Matt's Music'. Now, I'm not old-old (just old), so when I made mixtape playlist things, they were in the form of a burned CD. For the youngsters, there was no fire hazard involved. It wasn't a literal burning of the CD. After spending a couple of hours downloading eleven songs (twelve if you were really lucky), you could spend ten minutes copying them to a 700MB or one hour duration blank CD that you could play in your handy discman or CD player. If you're lost on any of that, ask your friend Siri to help you out.

I used to make many a mixtape with all the latest "jams", so I couldn't wait to find out what was on Matt's Music'. But when was it from? What would it tell me about the kind of music listener I was whatever year it was from? Would I be ashamed? Not likely. It had my name on it, so obviously it was going to be amazing. I got into my car, put the faded neon blue CD into the player and was treated to the familiar sounds of Fat Joe. "Put the fucking mic on! Mic is on." 'What's Luv?' Featuring Ashanti and Ja Rule. Three artists that don't seem to exist on this planet anymore. I was excited. I remembered all the words, especially the iconic and thought-provoking lines, "you say you gotta man and you're in love, but what's love got to do with a little menage?" The following selection of tracks would lead anyone who found 'Matt's Music' today to think Matt was one fly gal. The flyest. I don't really know what that means, but you'd hear it in songs all the time back then. R&B jams dominated the charts and they sure dominated my chosen tunes of the time. 

As there were indeed eleven songs making the cut on 'Matt's Music', the opportunity for a '10 and 1' presented itself. And since I was only mildly embarrassed by one of those tracks, that's what we'll be looking at. Ten songs from 2002 you'll be needing to hear right now and one you'd likely sooner forget. The flashback starts now... 

THE 10:

What's Luv

by Fat Joe ft. Ashanti and Ja Rule

When You Look At Me

by Christina Milian

Nasty Girl

by Destiny's Child

4 My People

by Missy Elliott

Without Me

by Eminem

What Would You Do?

by City High

Foolish

by Ashanti

Hot In Herre

by Nelly

U Got It Bad

by Usher

Just Like A Pill

by P!nk

THE ONE:

Dear Lie

by TLC

I love TLC as much as the next fly gal, but this has to be their worst single. The opening lyrics suggest they agree. "Dear Lie... you suck." Can't argue with that. I must have been caught up in the post-'No Scrubs' TLC hysteria that was sweeping the world way back when. Those were good times.


Alright... I can't keep up this ridiculous facade. I still love this song and I am ashamed but I don't care but I do. It wasn't even released in 2002. It's from 1999 and it still made its way onto a mixtape of mine three years later. I've got nothing...
 

10 and 1 - I Was Young... Once

I WAS YOUNG... ONCE

by Matt Bond

I have always loved music charts. The ARIA charts, the Billboard charts, Rick Dees and the weekly top for-teee, the official UK charts and so on and so forth. Back in the day (aka the 90s) I would watch the ARIA top 50 countdown on rage every weekend to see what the most popular songs were. Would Silverchair be on it? Would Pearl Jam's 'Last Kiss' still be number 1 and would I not be able to listen to it again because it didn't have a video? Would I be subjected to, "RAGE, rage, RAGE-RAGE-RAGE, raaaa-AAAAGE!" once more? The last one was obviously going to be a yes. 

Then a little thing called the internet came along and I could wait five minutes for a page to load that would just give me a list of the top songs! It was glorious. Time would pass, the internet would get a whole lot faster (if it ever slows down again there will be chaos) and I would keep on checking those charts each and every week. Until I didn't. It wasn't a conscious decision and I couldn't even tell you when I stopped. Life must have gotten in the way, but I'm not sure if I can say that when I don't have much of a life. I could blame Netflix, but that's only relatively new to my life. Work? Adult-ing? Attempted Adult-ing? All I know is, I had a little look at the ARIA charts this week and didn't know the majority of the songs. Out of the Top 10 songs in Australia, I knew three. 

Not knowing what the kids are listening to, combined with my new love for Sportscraft and Country Road clothing, it suddenly occured to me that I am old now and society will soon be done with me. But what if I love these shiny pop tunes that are charting it up today? Could there still be time for me? Lots of young people wear Country Road, right? I decided to give the ARIA Top 10 a shot and if I could love the songs, maybe I could still be hip. Or groovy. Because hip and groovy are what the kids are saying, yes? I'm jive to the lingo on the streets. Yolo? So, in keeping with the 10 and 1 tradition, I'll be taking a look at the ARIA Top 10 and giving a little shout out to one song that should be up there in the charts. Will I remain young and relevant? Or is Facebook right and is my taste in music that of a 50 year old, like that stupid quiz told me? Let's find out...

THE 10:

#1. See You Again

by Wiz Khalifa ft. Charlie Puth

Not only do I know this one, but I like it! A lot of that has to do with the fact that I've seen Fast and Furious 7 and I have a heart. Who would have thought? R.I.P Paul Walker :,( 

#2. You Don't Own Me

by Grace ft. G-Eazy

That stop-start music in the rap segments gets annoying, but the track is largely inoffensive. I guess. Grace has a nice enough voice. Still, I'd rather listen to Lesley Gore's original... which is from the 60s. 

#3. Shut Up and Dance

by Walk The Moon

Yes! There should always be an 80s inspired jam in the charts that makes you want to dance. This is fun. It knows it's fun. I'm a fan. 

#4. Marvin Gaye

by Charlie Puth ft. Meghan Trainor

No. A million times no. This is a disgrace. I don't want to talk about this, I've already reviewed it. Can they not? Australia, can you not?

#5. Lean On

by Major Lazer and DJ Snake ft. MO (with that strike through the 'O'... Blogger is hard.)

Definitely the best of the bunch so far. Major Lazer has done quite well for himself. Is this played on triple J? I'm assuming it is. It seems like a track those hip young thangs that listen to the j's would be all over like a rash. We'll add this to the like list.

#6. Hey Mama

by David Guetta ft. Nicki Minaj and Afrojack

"Yes I do the cooking, yes I do the cleaning, plus I keep the na-na real sweet for your eating, yes you be the boss and yes I be respecting, whatever you tell me 'cause it's game you be spitting." Get. Fucked. 

#7. Wasn't Expecting That

by Jamie Lawson

I wasn't expecting that I'd like this as much as I did, but it's actually a really sweet song. But seriously, Ed Sheeran called and he wants his whole schtick back. 

#8. Let It Go

by James Bay

I imagine I would like this a lot more if one of my favourite TV couples broke up and this was playing in the background. What? Watching my stories gets me through the day. 

#9. Want To Want Me

by Jason Derulo

Jason Derulo is a talented performer, but the songs he chooses to record are getting worse and worse. He's slacking off, relying on shots of his scantily clad body to sell the music. What a slut. He can't even be bothered to say his full name at the start of the song. All we get is a whispered, "Derulo." Where the, "JAAAAASON DERULO!" at? Generic. Does not want to hear again. 

#10. Do You Remember

by Jarryd James

Well, this is... boring. I'm bored. Aren't you bored? Why aren't you bored? 

So, out of those ten I'd say I will willingly listen to two of them again. This is not a good sign for me. Ok, let's be honest. What I really think is, it's not a good sign for the music charts. This is pretty rubbish and I can happily say I'm not missing out on anything by not checking out the charts. The good thing about getting older is you realise music doesn't have to be popular and topping charts to be amazing. More often than not, it's the songs that aren't anywhere near the charts you'll end up loving forever. That's pretty presumptuous of me to say, but if you're reading this you're probably not listening to the Shazam countdown on Nova this evening. Good for you! Songs like our one for tonight? They'll always be number one to me. 

THE ONE:

Hold On Together

by Jeremy Neale ft. Phoebe Imhoff

10 and 1 - Seems Like Old Times

Remember these guys?

OUT WITH THE NEW...

by Matt Bond

I love new music. I'm not quite at the point in my life where I'll tell anyone that will listen that everything was better in "my day", mostly because I'm hoping "my day" hasn't officially happened yet, but I digress. I love new music and one of the benefits of being a music "blogger" or "writer" or "crazy person" or whatever it is you want to call us, is that you get to hear A LOT of new music that lovely people have taken the time to send you. You listen to so much, that a song that was released barely a year ago can seem old. Which if you're looking at it in a literal sense, yes it's old, but stop trying to be clever and work with me here. I love new music, but sometimes I just want to spend some time with old favourites. 

Which I got to do yesterday when I was doing a big clean up at home and hit the jackpot. My friends... I found an old iPod. Yes. An iPod. For our younger readers, the iPod existed in a time long forgotten, pre-iPhone. I know, it's horrific to imagine such a world, but there was a time when the iPhone did not exist and you had this thing called an iPod and all you could do was listen to music on it. I won't go into discmans and walkmans because I don't want to scare you, so let's move on. After several arduous hours minutes spent locating a charger, I let that bad boy juice itself up and then sat down to listen to music I was listening to back when I was a lad. So like three years ago. Four max. For tonight's 10 and 1, I'm going to invite you to stand with me, just for one night and say out with the new and in with the old! Ten tracks from my iPod adventure that took me back to the good 'ole days and one that made me regret bad life choices.

THE TEN:

Easy Tonight

by Five For Fighting

You thought they only had that song about how hard life was for Superman. You were wrong. Five For Fighting also had this track 'Easy Tonight' appear on Scrubs and I was in love with it. Not in love enough to listen to anything else Five For Fighting ever did, but this was such a brilliant Matchbox Twenty-ish, early 2000s pop rock track and listening to it again... ah, good times. "You were free, now you're not, you were free, now you're not." That clip gets real. 

At Home

by Crystal Fighters

Now remember, I did say songs that even relatively newish songs seem old to me, so here we have the Crystal Fighters' 'At Home' which is maybe... four years old. Which essentially makes it ancient. It existed when dinosaurs roamed the Earth. 

Worn Me Down

by Rachael Yamagata

The underrated, incredibly talented Rachael Yamagata. The official 'Worn Me Down' recording is a pop-rock number, some guitars and drums and all upbeat despite the sad, defeated lyrics. Which is why I have this piano version on the old iPod. It's a beautiful piano ballad, the performance is sublime. Why is this woman not uber-famous? She should be right up there with the likes of Sara Bareilles and Ingrid Michaelson. 

Helplessness Blues

by Fleet Foxes

What happened to Fleet Foxes? Helplessness Blues was a ridiculously good album. I'm not going to lie, I forgot about the existence of Fleet Foxes. Listening to 'Helplessness Blues' again makes me wonder how I ever could have. So I did the whole research thing and found out Fleet Foxes himself, Robin Pecknold, decided to go to university and get an undergraduate degree last year, so that's why they've been so quiet. And yes, when I say research I mean Wikipedia. 

Wise Up

by Aimee Mann

If you have not seen Magnolia, go and see it. Now. You will hear the music of Aimee Mann and you will thank me. I'll just say you're welcome in advance. 

Funeral Dress

by William Fitzsimmons

Another great singer-songwriter here in William Fitzsimmons. This is one of the most calming songs you'll ever here. I'm so mellow right now. Aren't you feeling mellow? TELL ME YOU FEEL MELLOW? I'm going to listen to 'Funeral Dress' again now. 

The Battle

by Missy Higgins

Oh, Miggins. Even though I have a lot of love for Miggins, I'm pretty sure I first heard 'The Battle' on the episode of Grey's Anatomy where George dies. Shut up, that was great TV. This would have to be one of Higgins' best tracks and I don't think it even ended up on a proper album. From my "research" it looks like it showed up as a b-side for 'Steer' and on The EP Collectables in 2010. This time, "research" was just putting the song name into Spotify. It's alright guys, I have a journalism degree. I've got this. 

Goodnight Elisabeth

by Counting Crows

I was convinced for the longest time that he had actually killed Elisabeth. Anyway, great song. 

A Sorta Fairytale

by Tori Amos

Tori, Tori... what's the story? It's a fairytale about a princess with a foot for a body and Adrien Brody plays the prince. Well, that's just the music video. This one really takes me back. Even further than the iPod's existence and even further than this song, which is an early 2000s number. 90s Tori, 'Cornflake Girl', 'Winter', 'Hey Jupiter'. Might have to go listen to a whole lot of the Amos now. 

Diamonds From Sierra Leone 

by Kanye West 

There was heaps of Kanye on the iPod. There's heaps of Kanye on my iPhone. Some things just don't change.

THE ONE:

Keep On Loving You

by REO Speedwagon

But some things do change. 'Keep On Loving You' is kinda creepy. More in a 'Blurred Lines' way than the dude with the dreads from Counting Crows taking out Elisabeth. When I listen to 'Keep On Loving You'... it really makes me want to hear some new music. Not 'Blurred Lines'. But wait, that's old. Urgh, I'm confused now. This walk down memory lane is over. Shut it down.

10 and 1 - Tell Me A Story

People that are good like with words and stuff.

THE GREAT STORYTELLERS

by Matt Bond

Why hello... it's story time, boys and girls. You're a music fan, I'm a music fan, but sometimes you want your favourite singers to weave their poetic words into a story that's a little something more than (x) attempts to mate with (y) or (y) is triumphing over being heartbroken by (x) by swinging on installations on the ceiling or how (x) can be (y) if (x) wants because, baby, (x) was born that way. I love a good 'ole music storyteller. Personally, I'm a big fan of those that rip your heart out, throw it on the floor and then run it over on a Harley Davidson over and over and over again. The main thing is, I know I have a problem. But I don't think I'm alone. We all love music that can make us laugh, cry, singalong and entertain us. There are moments when all we need is your basic (x) and (y) story. And then there's times we want (a), (b) and (c) in the mix adding to the narrative as well. Not in a creepy, sexual way... pervs. 

The smartest writers leave much to the listener when it comes to interpreting their story. With each listen, you could be left viewing a song in a completely different light. A hero becomes a villain, the love of 'his' life suddenly becomes the other woman or what you once heard as a fairly straightforward tale of falling in love is now a deep and complex study or life, love, loss and everything in between. But you don't want to be too complex. Do you know what Black Eyed Peas' 'Boom Boom Pow' was about? Do you know what it means when chicken are jackin' your style? If you do, please let me know. I've been trying to work that out for years now. #jks. It's a statement about artistic integrity, a challenge to those lesser artists than Fergie-Ferg-era BEP's to push art to strange new boundaries. Hence why they are, "so 3008," while you are so, "2000 and late." That's what it means, right? Right?

Anyway, here are ten of my favourite storytellers in music. Maybe some of yours are in here too. As is the '10 and 1' way of doing bid-ness, I'll be leaving you with one artist who might not have the same way with words these guys and gals do. At least in my humble opinion. Enjoy! 

THE 10:

Sara Bareilles

I'm the writer and she's the muse,

I'm the one that you always choose,

She will falter and gift her blame,

And it starts all over again.

- 'Bright Lights and Cityscapes'

My good friend Fry has something to say about Sara Bareilles' storytelling abilities... 

Eddie Vedder

 I changed by not changing at all,

Small town predicts my fate,

Perhaps that's what no one wants to see.

- 'Elderly Woman Behind The Counter In A Small Town'

His catalogue of works reads like a good episode of Law and Order:SVU. Ok, not really (a little), but there's so many songs about social justice and oppressed people and have you heard 'Alive' or 'Jeremy' or 'Black' or 'Man Of The Hour' or any song that this dude's written. Vedder's the man, man. 

Stevie Nicks

 So I try to say goodbye my friend,

 I'd like to leave you with something more,

But never ever been a blue calm sea,

 I have always been a storm.

- 'Storms'

 Stevie Nicks' best stories are about Stevie Nicks. So I guess she's one for those who head straight to the biography section of the bookstore. There's heaps of drama and mystery and romance too. So if you're into those types of books, you're going to love the Nicks. But seriously... who doesn't love the Nicks already?

 
Shirley Manson

Drown in me, one more time,

Hide inside me tonight,

Do what you want to do,

Just pretend happy end,

 Let me know, let it show,

Ending with letting go,

Let's pretend happy end.

- 'You Look So Fine'

I love you, Shirley!!! Please excuse me. I just can't contain myself when it comes to the words of one Manson, S. They'll put you under her spell. SHE'S A WITCH! And what a witch. Garbage drew on an actual story for the song 'The Trick Is To Keep Breathing' which is one of their most beautiful, heartbreaking tracks. And they've got a lot of beautiful, heartbreaking tracks. Like 'You Look So Fine'. It's a story I've gone back and forth with when it comes to the meaning, because part of me wants to believe it's not just a pretend happy end and it's a real one. But it's not so... Oy. I'd love you forever, Shirley! That pretty boy surfer in the video was never good enough for you. 

Billy Corgan

Time is never time at all,

You can never ever leave without leaving a piece of you,

And our lives are forever changed,

We will never be the same,

The more you change the less you feel.

- 'Tonight, Tonight' 

Come on... at one stage he was a really cool dude, right? He was on The Simpsons. It was awesome! Alright, whatever... Corgan had it going on back in the 90s. With just a couple of lines he could leave you contemplating things like the meaning of life, when all you really wanted to do was sing along to that fun '1979' song you heard on the radio. Urgh, I'm going to be stuck on "classic" Smashing Pumpkins for a couple of weeks now. Damn you, Billy Corgan!   

Amanda Palmer

I suffer mornings most of all,

I feel so powerless and small,

By 10 o'clock I'm back in bed,

Fighting the jury in my head

- 'Have To Drive'

What I love the most about Amanda Palmer's stories, is that even though they are so 'her', there are far too many moments in her music that feel like she's telling your story. Maybe 'her' story is 'our' story and she's really just that fan-fucking-tastic at taking some very personal life experiences and putting those into words that any listener can relate to. As a bonus, Amanda is ridiculously clever in her selection of lyrics and can even drop some TWIST! moments into her tracks. Example, 'The Bed Song'. 

Jay-Z

When pop died, didn't cry,

Didn't know him that well,

Between him doing heroin and me doing crack sales...

- 'Moment of Clarity'  

Yes, rap stories are excellent. Especially in the hands of Jay-Z. It's all 'overcoming great adversity' like, starting on the streets and working your way up to becoming #1. Started from the bottom now your here, Drake? Yeahbutno, Jay-Z already told those stories and started much lower and got way higher. And he's got Beyonce. #YOLO.

Lana Del Rey

I hear the birds on the summer breeze,

I drive fast, I am alone in midnight,

Been tryin' hard not to get into trouble,

But I, I've got a war in my mind.

- 'Ride' 

Did anyone else feel that cool breeze of judgment come in through the window? Brrrr. Anyway, haters gonna hate. I've got a lot of time for LDR's breathy tones and melodramatic, Americana-heavy lyrics. She's like the Springsteen of her generation. Haha. I'm kidding. Just wanted some of you to have a slight aneurism. 

Florence Welch

I took the stars from my eyes and then I made a map,

I knew that somehow I could find my way back,

Then I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too,

So I stayed in the darkness with you.

- 'Cosmic Love'

Florence's words tell the story of the world through her eyes. And that world is this over the top examination of love, death and war. It can be very violent and honest and beautiful all at the same time. It's just a little bit crackers, but also refreshing. How does she do this? Teach me, oh wise one.

Little May

Somebody told me you were leaving town,

I swear I never thought you'd be the one who let me down...

- 'Boardwalks'

How could I leave out my favourite new storytellers and our Artist of the Month, Little May? Well, I couldn't. Obviously. I've said it before and I'll say it again, these ladies right here are the next great storytellers. And you can find out for yourself by checking out their debut, self-titled EP which is out on October 10. It's also casually hanging out with Rolling Stone Australia if you want to give it a not-so-sneaky listen (or many, many listens) and fall for the oh-so-dreamy stories Little May tell.   

THE ONE:

Nicki Minaj

This dude named Michael used to ride motorcycles,

Dick bigger than a tower, I ain't talking about Eiffels...

(we'll stop there)

- 'Anaconda'

No. A million times no. The disappointing thing about Minaj is, she's actually better than this. Her early raps were full of cutting rhymes and she actually told some decent stories. Now... it's all about how her 'kitty' puts dudes to sleep and now they're calling her NyQuil. NyQuil rhymes with Michael. All of the lols. HAHAHAHAHA. I'm done with life.
 

   

10 and 1 - Paws Up, Little Monsters

10 OF THE BEST: LADY GAGA

by Matt Bond

Ma ma ma maaaa. Mother Monster herself is in Australia right this second (AHHHH!) and she's delivering artRAVE: The ARTPOP Ball to her legion of fans. Ok, so things have cooled on the universal love for LGG since the release of her 2013 album, ARTPOP, but she's still one of the biggest acts in music. So stop thinking you're cool for breaking free of the party-disco-fun-time hold she had on you while she was THE biggest music star on the planet for a couple of years there. Anyway, I am totally excited about Queen Gaga being in our corner of the world because I'll be heading along to the Brisbane show with Jo and Katie. It's my first time seeing her live and I can't wait until we're best friends. What? Nothing. But seriously, I think we'd get along famously. We live for the fame and so on and so forth.


Since I've been going back through Lady Gaga's discography over the past week in the lead up to what's going to be one crazy/amazing live show, I thought I'd get my '10 and 1' on with a list of Gaga's ten best tracks and the one song I could really do without hearing next Tuesday night. Sorry, my Queen. But nobody's perfect, right? Don't worry, you're on the right track baby... you were born this way or something. Now... let's stop bluffin' with our muffins and just dance!

THE TEN:

POKER FACE

PAPARAZZI

BAD ROMANCE

TELEPHONE

ft. Beyonce

SPEECHLESS
 

JUDAS

THE EDGE OF GLORY

AMERICANO

GYPSY (Live Piano Version)

SEX DREAMS

THE ONE:

JEWELS N' DRUGS

ft. T.I., Too $hort and Twista

When you've got ten songs as good as the ones above, you're allowed a dud here and there. 'Jewels N' Drugs' was the gangsta side of Gaga no one really needed to see. Thankfully we won't be hearing anything like this on the upcoming collaboration album with total dude, Tony Bennett. Now... paws up, little monsters. Bring on the artRAVE Brisbane Entertainment Centre show on Tuesday night!        

10 and 1 - Glastonburger

10 HOT PICKS FOR GLASTONBURY 2014

by Matt Bond

Have I told you lately that... I'm going to Glastonbury this year? Oh yes, in a few days time I will be flying out of Australia on a big jet plane to soak up the European sun and (most likely) British rain and as part of the trip, I will be attending the Glastonbury Festival of Contemporary Performing Arts. To say I'm excited is an understatement. Not only do I get to partake in the fun times associated with one of the world's biggest and most loved music festivals, I get to see the good looking faces of some friends I feel like I haven't seen in forever. And what's better than good music, good friends and the British countryside? Not a whole lot. Because of a couple of those aforementioned fwends, I've started referring to Glastonbury as Glastonburger. I think it's a term of affection. It really just makes me want a burger and I'm sure there will be plenty of sloppy burgers on sale at Glasto. And hopefully those Strumpets with Crumpets will be around too.


So, along with 134 999 other music fans, I'll be making the trek to Worthy Farm to dance around the flames of Arcadia, participate in a Dolly Parton flash mob, navigate the muddy pits that surround the port-a-loos and, most importantly, listen to some of the best acts in music. The 2014 festival marks the 32nd incarnation of the event, with Arcade Fire, Metallica and Kasabian securing headliner status. Will there be a surprise pop star set like there has been in the past? One can hope and speaking of hope, we're hoping to run our first ever international text review for a music festival, so look out for that at the end of the month! I've got this portable charger thing and stuff and... just pray for us ok? The Glastonburger line up is chock full of exciting acts that I am super keen to check out, so today's 10 and 1 is dedicated to my top picks for this year's festival. And I'll end with the one act I'll politely decline to see, should anyone even attempt to ask.

THE 10:

NGAIIRE

Thursday @ La Pussy Parlure Nouveau: 21:00 - 21:50

COURTNEY BARNETT

Friday @ The Park Stage: 15:30 - 16:30

CRYSTAL FIGHTERS

Friday @ John Peel Stage: 17:00 - 17:50

TUNE-YARDS

Friday @ West Holts Stage: 19:00 - 20:00

M.I.A

Friday @ West Holts Stage: 22:15 - 23:45 

WOLF ALICE

Saturday @ John Peel Stage: 16:00 - 16:40

JACK WHITE

Saturday @ Pyramid Stage: 19:30 - 20:45 

(If I don't go to this, Jo might hurt me when I get back.)  

METALLICA

Sunday @ Pyramid Stage: 21:45 - 23:45 

JAMES BLAKE

Sunday @ The Park Stage: 21:00 - 22:15

LONDON GRAMMAR

Sunday @ John Peel Stage: 22:15 - 23:15

THE ONE:

BILLY BRAGG

Friday @ Left Field: 21:00 - 22:00

No thank you. Hearing Mr Bragg's version of Bob Marley's 'One Love' once was more than enough. "Let's drop the debt and it could be alright." Never. Again.