Two Is Not A Winner and Three Nobody Remembers

WHO WILL TOP triple j's HOTTEST 100?

by Matt Bond

"Who do you think will be #1 on this year's Hottest 100?" 


It's around this time of year I start getting asked that question a lot, despite my inability to predict even the most basic stuff correctly. Yes, even I could predict that Gotye and Kimbra would be #1 on the Hottest 100 in 2011, but I'm pretty sure anyone could have picked that one. 'Somebody That I Used To Know' was EVERYWHERE. I know people that listened to it so much back then that they still can't listen to even those weird opening beats today. Anyway, there's only nine days left to get your votes in for the world's biggest music countdown and fourteen days until we get to head along to Australia Day parties, barbecues, solo adventures locked inside with the air-con on and only our feelings to keep us company or whatever it is you have planned for the day. Whatever you've got planned, I'm sure it'll be great and there's one thing that will make it even better... listening to the Hottest 100! 

So, back to that question... who's going to be #1 this year? I don't know. Not the answer you were looking for? Sorry 'bout it. What I can tell you is, there's a good chance you'll actually be hearing Justin Bieber come January 26. No, not 'Sorry' or 'What Do You Mean?'. There is that awful collaboration with Skrillex and Diplo though that got at least one play on the j's last year. And I've seen enough votes on Instragram to think that it's going to make the list. I can also tell you that one hundred percent Taylor Swift will not be in this year's countdown, but that's not news at all since the rejection of the #TayForHottest100 campaign last year. For those keeping score at home, Justin Bieber will likely find a place on the Hottest 100, Bruno Mars was able to sneak in last year but there is no room for Swift. The obvious solution is that she needs to guest on a Major Lazer or Macklemore track, because for a commercial pop star to guest on a track is ok by the j. 

Speaking of Major Lazer, it could be a little song you probably haven't heard of before called 'Lean On' that makes it all the way to #1. Along with DJ Snake and Danish musician MØ, the track scored a ridiculous amount of play by the national youth broadcaster, went to #1 in Australia, is the most streamed song in Spotify history and (this one is very important) was big on commercial radio too. So it's not only appealing to those hip, young thangs that listen to triple j, but that fucking NOVA crowd too. Yeah Macklemore is a thing still and 'Downtown' was catchy, went to #1 and got play across a variety of different stations. Working against him though, he didn't make the list of the top 20 artists that got the most play on triple J in 2015. Also, I distinctly remember when 'Thrift Shop' went to #1 on the Hottest 100 in 2015, I said it was the worst thing that had ever happened. I was much more dramatic back then, I'm sorry. It wasn't the worst thing that's ever happened, but like, maybe top 5? Maybe? It's not going to happen again. I suppose I should acknowledge Ryan Lewis' involvement with Macklemore, but no one else does so why should I?

Tame Impala are guaranteed to land multiple entries on this year's countdown. But #1? Unlikely at this point. Also unlikely... that we'll finally see a solo female artist top the list. In a perfect world, Courtney Barnett would stand a chance, but we've already seen the online reaction from triple J listeners when she wins things. Oy vey. Appearances by 'Pedestrian At Best', 'Depreston' and 'Nobody Really Cares If You Don't Go To The Party' would be appreciated nonetheless. Last year's countdown saw more Australian artists than ever crack the 100 and hopefully we'll have another record breaking year in 2016. Tkay Maidza should return with 'M.O.B' and hopefully 'Ghost' too. Jarryd James, Alison Wonderland, Chet Faker (along with that other bearded man who is not Australian), Gang of Youths, The Rubens, San Cisco, Alpine, Daniel Johns and Flight Facilities were played on high rotation throughout the year, so expect to hear a little something something from them. Perennial Hottest 100 favourites The Hilltop Hoods could sneak in with new track 'Higher' as well, giving James Chatburn his first appearance on the list. If you're expecting to hear a whole lot of Florence + The Machine, I'm right there with you. Is there a #1 in the bunch of Flo songs? Absolutely. Will it get the votes? Absolutely not.     

We've covered that I have no idea who will actually take out the #1 spot on this year's triple J Hottest 100. But let's say one of you walked up to me and held a gun to my head and whispered so softly, pick some freaking songs that could be #1... then I suppose I would say:

#1? Major Lazer and DJ Snake ft. MØ - 'Lean On'

#1? Chet Faker and Marcus Marr - 'The Trouble With Us'

#1? The Weeknd - 'Can't Feel My Face'

#1? Kendrick Lamar - 'King Kunta'

#1? Jarryd James - Do You Remember?

#1? Meg Mac - Never Be (one can dream)

Who did I actually vote for? Well... 

Montaigne - 'Clip My Wings'

Tired Lion - 'I Don't Think You Like Me'

Ngaiire - 'Once'

Gang of Youths - 'Magnolia'

Courtney Barnett - 'Pedestrian At Best'

Little May - 'Home'

Tkay Maidza - 'Ghost'

Jack Colwell - 'Don't Cry Those Tears'

Sarah Blasko - 'I'd Be Lost'

Japanese Wallpaper ft. Airling 'Forces'

Feel free to use those ten as a template for your own votes. Alternatively, pick ten songs that would make your Australia Day awesome. That also works. 

10 and 1 - I Was Young... Once

I WAS YOUNG... ONCE

by Matt Bond

I have always loved music charts. The ARIA charts, the Billboard charts, Rick Dees and the weekly top for-teee, the official UK charts and so on and so forth. Back in the day (aka the 90s) I would watch the ARIA top 50 countdown on rage every weekend to see what the most popular songs were. Would Silverchair be on it? Would Pearl Jam's 'Last Kiss' still be number 1 and would I not be able to listen to it again because it didn't have a video? Would I be subjected to, "RAGE, rage, RAGE-RAGE-RAGE, raaaa-AAAAGE!" once more? The last one was obviously going to be a yes. 

Then a little thing called the internet came along and I could wait five minutes for a page to load that would just give me a list of the top songs! It was glorious. Time would pass, the internet would get a whole lot faster (if it ever slows down again there will be chaos) and I would keep on checking those charts each and every week. Until I didn't. It wasn't a conscious decision and I couldn't even tell you when I stopped. Life must have gotten in the way, but I'm not sure if I can say that when I don't have much of a life. I could blame Netflix, but that's only relatively new to my life. Work? Adult-ing? Attempted Adult-ing? All I know is, I had a little look at the ARIA charts this week and didn't know the majority of the songs. Out of the Top 10 songs in Australia, I knew three. 

Not knowing what the kids are listening to, combined with my new love for Sportscraft and Country Road clothing, it suddenly occured to me that I am old now and society will soon be done with me. But what if I love these shiny pop tunes that are charting it up today? Could there still be time for me? Lots of young people wear Country Road, right? I decided to give the ARIA Top 10 a shot and if I could love the songs, maybe I could still be hip. Or groovy. Because hip and groovy are what the kids are saying, yes? I'm jive to the lingo on the streets. Yolo? So, in keeping with the 10 and 1 tradition, I'll be taking a look at the ARIA Top 10 and giving a little shout out to one song that should be up there in the charts. Will I remain young and relevant? Or is Facebook right and is my taste in music that of a 50 year old, like that stupid quiz told me? Let's find out...

THE 10:

#1. See You Again

by Wiz Khalifa ft. Charlie Puth

Not only do I know this one, but I like it! A lot of that has to do with the fact that I've seen Fast and Furious 7 and I have a heart. Who would have thought? R.I.P Paul Walker :,( 

#2. You Don't Own Me

by Grace ft. G-Eazy

That stop-start music in the rap segments gets annoying, but the track is largely inoffensive. I guess. Grace has a nice enough voice. Still, I'd rather listen to Lesley Gore's original... which is from the 60s. 

#3. Shut Up and Dance

by Walk The Moon

Yes! There should always be an 80s inspired jam in the charts that makes you want to dance. This is fun. It knows it's fun. I'm a fan. 

#4. Marvin Gaye

by Charlie Puth ft. Meghan Trainor

No. A million times no. This is a disgrace. I don't want to talk about this, I've already reviewed it. Can they not? Australia, can you not?

#5. Lean On

by Major Lazer and DJ Snake ft. MO (with that strike through the 'O'... Blogger is hard.)

Definitely the best of the bunch so far. Major Lazer has done quite well for himself. Is this played on triple J? I'm assuming it is. It seems like a track those hip young thangs that listen to the j's would be all over like a rash. We'll add this to the like list.

#6. Hey Mama

by David Guetta ft. Nicki Minaj and Afrojack

"Yes I do the cooking, yes I do the cleaning, plus I keep the na-na real sweet for your eating, yes you be the boss and yes I be respecting, whatever you tell me 'cause it's game you be spitting." Get. Fucked. 

#7. Wasn't Expecting That

by Jamie Lawson

I wasn't expecting that I'd like this as much as I did, but it's actually a really sweet song. But seriously, Ed Sheeran called and he wants his whole schtick back. 

#8. Let It Go

by James Bay

I imagine I would like this a lot more if one of my favourite TV couples broke up and this was playing in the background. What? Watching my stories gets me through the day. 

#9. Want To Want Me

by Jason Derulo

Jason Derulo is a talented performer, but the songs he chooses to record are getting worse and worse. He's slacking off, relying on shots of his scantily clad body to sell the music. What a slut. He can't even be bothered to say his full name at the start of the song. All we get is a whispered, "Derulo." Where the, "JAAAAASON DERULO!" at? Generic. Does not want to hear again. 

#10. Do You Remember

by Jarryd James

Well, this is... boring. I'm bored. Aren't you bored? Why aren't you bored? 

So, out of those ten I'd say I will willingly listen to two of them again. This is not a good sign for me. Ok, let's be honest. What I really think is, it's not a good sign for the music charts. This is pretty rubbish and I can happily say I'm not missing out on anything by not checking out the charts. The good thing about getting older is you realise music doesn't have to be popular and topping charts to be amazing. More often than not, it's the songs that aren't anywhere near the charts you'll end up loving forever. That's pretty presumptuous of me to say, but if you're reading this you're probably not listening to the Shazam countdown on Nova this evening. Good for you! Songs like our one for tonight? They'll always be number one to me. 

THE ONE:

Hold On Together

by Jeremy Neale ft. Phoebe Imhoff

Top 25 - 3 March, 2013

Yeah Yeah Yeahs: Mmm... sacrilegious.

Songs of the Week, 03/03/13 from itsmykindofscene on 8tracks Radio.

1. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Sacrilege (NEW) 



 

2. Crystal Fighters - Separator
3. Ngaiire ft. Nai Palm - Dirty Hercules (NEW)
4. MS MR - Bones
5. Phoenix - Entertainment

6. Hungry Kids of Hungary - When Yesterday's Gone (NEW)
7. Cub Scouts - Pool





8. All The Colours - Second To None
9. Torres - Honey
10. Cold Cave - Oceans With No End (NEW)

11. Abbe May - T.R.O.U.B.L.E
12. The Trouble With Templeton - Like A Kid (NEW)
13. Frank Ocean - Eyes Like Sky (NEW)
14. AlunaGeorge - Attracting Flies (NEW)
15. mdnt ft. Jez Dior - Dreamcatcher (NEW)
16. Ghost Beach ft. Noosa - Close Enough
17. British India - Summer Forgive Me

18. Major Lazer ft. Busy Signal, The Flexican and FS Green - Watch Out For This (Buyame) (NEW)
19. Crywolf and Ianborg - Oceans (NEW)
20. The Postal Service - A Tattered Line of String
21. A$AP Rocky ft. Santigold - Hell (NEW)





22. Eliza Hull - Echoes
23. The Griswolds - The Courtship of Summer Preasley
24. Steve Mason and Emiliana Torrini - I Go Out
25.  Darwin Deez - You Can't Be My Girl