Two Is Not A Winner and Three Nobody Remembers

WHO WILL TOP triple j's HOTTEST 100?

by Matt Bond

"Who do you think will be #1 on this year's Hottest 100?" 


It's around this time of year I start getting asked that question a lot, despite my inability to predict even the most basic stuff correctly. Yes, even I could predict that Gotye and Kimbra would be #1 on the Hottest 100 in 2011, but I'm pretty sure anyone could have picked that one. 'Somebody That I Used To Know' was EVERYWHERE. I know people that listened to it so much back then that they still can't listen to even those weird opening beats today. Anyway, there's only nine days left to get your votes in for the world's biggest music countdown and fourteen days until we get to head along to Australia Day parties, barbecues, solo adventures locked inside with the air-con on and only our feelings to keep us company or whatever it is you have planned for the day. Whatever you've got planned, I'm sure it'll be great and there's one thing that will make it even better... listening to the Hottest 100! 

So, back to that question... who's going to be #1 this year? I don't know. Not the answer you were looking for? Sorry 'bout it. What I can tell you is, there's a good chance you'll actually be hearing Justin Bieber come January 26. No, not 'Sorry' or 'What Do You Mean?'. There is that awful collaboration with Skrillex and Diplo though that got at least one play on the j's last year. And I've seen enough votes on Instragram to think that it's going to make the list. I can also tell you that one hundred percent Taylor Swift will not be in this year's countdown, but that's not news at all since the rejection of the #TayForHottest100 campaign last year. For those keeping score at home, Justin Bieber will likely find a place on the Hottest 100, Bruno Mars was able to sneak in last year but there is no room for Swift. The obvious solution is that she needs to guest on a Major Lazer or Macklemore track, because for a commercial pop star to guest on a track is ok by the j. 

Speaking of Major Lazer, it could be a little song you probably haven't heard of before called 'Lean On' that makes it all the way to #1. Along with DJ Snake and Danish musician MØ, the track scored a ridiculous amount of play by the national youth broadcaster, went to #1 in Australia, is the most streamed song in Spotify history and (this one is very important) was big on commercial radio too. So it's not only appealing to those hip, young thangs that listen to triple j, but that fucking NOVA crowd too. Yeah Macklemore is a thing still and 'Downtown' was catchy, went to #1 and got play across a variety of different stations. Working against him though, he didn't make the list of the top 20 artists that got the most play on triple J in 2015. Also, I distinctly remember when 'Thrift Shop' went to #1 on the Hottest 100 in 2015, I said it was the worst thing that had ever happened. I was much more dramatic back then, I'm sorry. It wasn't the worst thing that's ever happened, but like, maybe top 5? Maybe? It's not going to happen again. I suppose I should acknowledge Ryan Lewis' involvement with Macklemore, but no one else does so why should I?

Tame Impala are guaranteed to land multiple entries on this year's countdown. But #1? Unlikely at this point. Also unlikely... that we'll finally see a solo female artist top the list. In a perfect world, Courtney Barnett would stand a chance, but we've already seen the online reaction from triple J listeners when she wins things. Oy vey. Appearances by 'Pedestrian At Best', 'Depreston' and 'Nobody Really Cares If You Don't Go To The Party' would be appreciated nonetheless. Last year's countdown saw more Australian artists than ever crack the 100 and hopefully we'll have another record breaking year in 2016. Tkay Maidza should return with 'M.O.B' and hopefully 'Ghost' too. Jarryd James, Alison Wonderland, Chet Faker (along with that other bearded man who is not Australian), Gang of Youths, The Rubens, San Cisco, Alpine, Daniel Johns and Flight Facilities were played on high rotation throughout the year, so expect to hear a little something something from them. Perennial Hottest 100 favourites The Hilltop Hoods could sneak in with new track 'Higher' as well, giving James Chatburn his first appearance on the list. If you're expecting to hear a whole lot of Florence + The Machine, I'm right there with you. Is there a #1 in the bunch of Flo songs? Absolutely. Will it get the votes? Absolutely not.     

We've covered that I have no idea who will actually take out the #1 spot on this year's triple J Hottest 100. But let's say one of you walked up to me and held a gun to my head and whispered so softly, pick some freaking songs that could be #1... then I suppose I would say:

#1? Major Lazer and DJ Snake ft. MØ - 'Lean On'

#1? Chet Faker and Marcus Marr - 'The Trouble With Us'

#1? The Weeknd - 'Can't Feel My Face'

#1? Kendrick Lamar - 'King Kunta'

#1? Jarryd James - Do You Remember?

#1? Meg Mac - Never Be (one can dream)

Who did I actually vote for? Well... 

Montaigne - 'Clip My Wings'

Tired Lion - 'I Don't Think You Like Me'

Ngaiire - 'Once'

Gang of Youths - 'Magnolia'

Courtney Barnett - 'Pedestrian At Best'

Little May - 'Home'

Tkay Maidza - 'Ghost'

Jack Colwell - 'Don't Cry Those Tears'

Sarah Blasko - 'I'd Be Lost'

Japanese Wallpaper ft. Airling 'Forces'

Feel free to use those ten as a template for your own votes. Alternatively, pick ten songs that would make your Australia Day awesome. That also works.