10 and 1 - My Anaconda Don't Want None Unless You Got Bad Blood

Things that are totally worth fighting about... VMA nominations.

SOME VIDEOS FOR MTV'S CONSIDERATION...

by Matt Bond

Do you like that snazzy title I came up with? I sure hope no one else has thought of it. I even Googled it to make sure no one has. Snazzy, right? Anyway, because I'm hip to what the kids are jiving to these days, I hear that Nicki Minaj has 'beef' with her lack of 'nomm-age' in the category for Video Of The Year at the upcoming MTV Video Music Awards. 

History lesson... MTV stands for Music TeleVision. It's a channel on the TV box that used to be like I am, hip to what the kids are jiving to, and once upon a time played only music and shows that featured animated characters making fun of music. Now it has shows like the Scream series no one wanted and some reality shows about teen mums or something. I don't really know. They also bust out the Video Music Awards once a year to pretend they still care about music. In the past, the VMA's honoured iconic clips like Sinead O'Connor's 'Nothing Compares 2 U', The Smashing Pumpkins' 'Tonight Tonight' and Lauryn Hill's 'Doo Wop (That Thing)' with the title of Video of the Year. More recently, winners have included Beyonce's 'Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)', Rihanna's 'We Found Love' and Lady Gaga's 'Bad Romance'. 

This year's ceremony promises to be a delight, with Miley Cyrus hosting and the Video of the Year category being contested by Beyonce's '7-11', Kendrick Lamar's 'Alright', Mark Ronson's 'Uptown Funk', Ed Sheeran's 'Thinking Out Loud' and T-baby Swift's 'Bad Blood'. Notably absent, in the mind of the artist, is Nicki Minaj's 'Anaconda'. A video that features one of my favourite YouTube comments of all time... "This porn has an intriguing soundtrack." Minaj busted out some commentary on her influence on pop culture that you can catch up on ANYWHERE if you haven't already and really, you can't argue with it. 'Anaconda' is one of the most viewed clips of all time on YouTube and it showed everyone what twerking is supposed to be. Truly impressive booty shaking to be viewed right there. Miley, take note. 

Minaj made comments about gals of a more slender frame getting nominated and not her, which brought Tay to her yard with her usual GIRRL POWER enthusiasm and then Nicki was like, "bitch, did I name you?! Naw." And then a highly confident Swifty was all like, "Lolz, luv you bae, you wanna come on stage with me when I win?" And then Taylor was out of there while Minaj went on a bit of a tangent. I guess it would be hard for Taylor not to be thinking it was directed at her personally. None of the other videos were jam-packed with gals of a more slender frame, were they? I'm trying to be so PC here, give me points for that. Nicki would go on to talk about Ellen and Beyonce loving her video, how she thought the 'Feeling Myself' collab-video with her and Beyonce should be nominated too and that people hate Tidal and love Taylor for taking her music off Spotify. I'm sorry, I think I'm over how lame this is now. The only question we need to ask is... Is the video for 'Anaconda' of a high enough quality to be nominated for 'Video of the Year'. In my humble opinion, it is not. Nicki Minaj is beautiful and much more talented than what 'Anaconda' would suggest. Her 'Pinkprint Movie' was actually impressive and beautifully shot. The video for 'Anaconda' was painfully average, much like the song.

So... you're waiting for me to get to the '10 and 1' part of my rambling and here it comes. Ten videos that deserve to be nominated for 'Video Of The Year' at this year's VMA's instead of 'Anaconda'. And if you want to put yourself through it one more time... You've figured out what the one is, right? 

THE TEN:

THE NEW INTERNATIONAL SOUND PT. II

by GENER8ION + M.I.A

WHAT KIND OF MAN

by Florence + The Machine





GEORGIA
by Vance Joy 

PEDESTRIAN AT BEST

by Courtney Barnett





LIONSONG
by Bjork





DOWN TO EARTH
by Flight Facilities 
 




BITCH BETTER HAVE MY MONEY
by Rihanna





BLANK SPACE
by Taylor Swift

Because it's way better than 'Bad Blood'. 

RADIOFACE

by Gang of Youths

 THE PINKPRINT MOVIE

by Nicki Minaj

THE ONE:

ANACONDA

by Nicki Minaj

Art.

Top 25 - 14 March, 2015

M.I.A, Tame Impala + Amanda Palmer!

1. Tired Lion - I Don't Think You Like Me (#1 for 3 weeks!) 





2. Grimes - REALiTi (NEW)





3. Big Smoke - Try A Little Love


 

4. Amanda Palmer - Bigger On The Inside (NEW)


 


5. Okenyo - Just A Story


 

6. SAFIA - Counting Sheep (NEW)


 

7. Karl S. Williams - Is This Love?


 


8. Bonjah - Burn (NEW)


 

9. Florence + The Machine - What Kind Of Man


 


10. Oh Mercy - Sandy (NEW)


 


11. Lupa J - Waiting For Her


 

12. Lurch and Chief - Fading Out


 

13. James Chatburn x Jordan Rakei - Holiday Love


 

14. Muse - Psycho (NEW)


 


15. Bjork - Lionsong (NEW)


 


16. Sarah Belkner - Humans


 


17. Tame Impala - Let It Happen (NEW)


 

18. Tkay Maidza - M.O.B


 


19. Zella Day - Hypnotic (NEW)


 


20. Lanks - Hold Me Closer


 

21. M.I.A - Can See Can Do (NEW)


 

22. Skipping Girl Vinegar - Dance Again


 

23. Our Man In Berlin - Moliere


 

24. Little Earthquake - I Am Alive


 


25. Baskervillain - Dancing Shoes

Top 25 - 25 January, 2015

Lime Cordiale + Bjork!

1. Lime Cordiale - Hanging Upside Down (NEW)





2. Eves The Behavior - TV





3. Jeremy Neale - The News





4. The Belligerents - In My Way





5. Passerine - Set Me Alight





6. The Wombats - Greek Tragedy





7. The Grates - Holiday Home





8. Django Django - First Light





9. Wren - Here (NEW)


 

10. Sharon Van Etten - I Don't Want To Let You Down





11. Olympia - Honey (NEW)





12. The Kite String Tangle ft. Tiana Khasi - Stone Cold





13. Bjork - Stonemilker (NEW)





14. Anna O - Symphony (NEW)





15. George Maple - Vacant Space





16. Halcyon Drive - Crusoe





17. Halcyon Drive - Apart (NEW)





18. Sally Seltmann - We Are The Music





19. Ruby Boots - Middle of Nowhere (NEW)





20. Left. - Lay With Me





21. Arctic Maps - The Ocean Is My Cathedral





22. Laura Marling - False Hope (NEW)





23. Ed Wells - Sparrow and Seed





24. Years and Years - King





25. Jessie Ware - You and I (Forever)

Stop, Collaborate and Listen, #15 - 11

#20 - 16

#15. CRAWL HOME

by PJ Harvey and Josh Homme

When rock is dark, powerful and thick like molasses, yet composed, taught and direct like a cross bow I’m drawn in. I’m gripped by fear and that messy emotional ball of spiteful anguish that I’ve been pushing deep down inside for endless years is pierced. A forceful stream of aggressive motion is forced through my blood, injected into my muscles and releases as a furious flailing of limbs, pointing, clenching and thrusting the air with vigorous bile. This is the effect that the mastery of the entire Desert Sessions Vol 9/10 has on me, and one of my fave tracks is one of the several duets by a couple of insanely talented musicians.

‘Crawl Home’ is quite simply an amazing piece of rock gold that has been birthed from the brains, fingers and mouths of two of the most respected denizens of the rockosphere, PJ Harvey and Josh Homme. That bass line is a long rough road and the rhythm guitar is driving with purpose over the top through the gravel while PJ lays a sharp, howling tongue lashing on JH and JH whimpers like a cowering child. It’s epic. It’s amazing. I must be excused as I can feel a bout of flailing about to bubble out. (Nayt Housman)

#14. ENDLESS LOVE

by Diana Ross and Lionel Richie

And your eyes (your eyes, your eyes), they tell me how much you caaaaare. You think you're totally cool for not liking this duet, don't cha? Well, buddy... old pal... I'm here to tell you that you ain't cool unless you like 'Endless Love'. And if liking 'Endless Love' makes you cool, consider me Miles Davis! Alright, so my (endless) love for one of the most successful duets of all time comes back to the movie Happy Gilmore. If you've seen it, you probably mouth along to both Lionel Richie and Diana Ross' vocals, just like the poor old zamboni driver standing in the darkness. In all seriousness though, there's a reason why 'Endless Love' came in at #1 on US Billboard's list of greatest duets. Actually, there's plenty of reasons why. Two superstars combining their talents and silky smooth voices to create one super fine love ballad that still gets busted out at weddings and karoke (there's a rumour that our own Lou partakes in this) to this day. Yes, it comes served with extra cheese, but Ross and Richie sell that cheese like there's no tomorrow. It speaks to the romantic side in all of us, no matter how cool we think we might be.


Considering her past as the front for The Supremes, it comes as a surprise that 'Endless Love' was the most successful song of her illustrious career... and her 18th #1 single to boot! Richie wrote the song. Which means he's responsible for lyrics like, "two hearts, two hearts that beat as one, our lives have just begun," that can both warm your heart and leave a little scunched up look on your face. At the same time. The track would spend nine weeks at #1 in the USA, kicking off a decade of hits for a man that would go on to be known as Nicole's dad or that dude that sings inside your fridge. Despite my digs, you can't take away from Richie's voice, which harmonises so well with Ross that your heart could actually start melting from the heat their chemistry generates. Something that I didn't know, was that 'Endless Love' was the theme to the film of the same name, which starred Brooke Shields. If you ever get a chance, I strongly encourage you to read the Wikipedia plot section and attempt to explain how 'Endless Love' the song could possibly work with Endless Love the movie. (Matt Bond)

#13. I'LL BE MISSING YOU

by Puff Daddy and Faith Evans

Look, I need to be honest here - I’ve never really been a big fan of Puff Daddy, P Diddy, or whatever it is he’s calling himself these days, but this song is the exception to the rule. The sampling used from The Police’s ‘Every Breath You Take’ may have something to do with it. Faith Evans super smooth vocals may have something to do with it. Watching ole mate Diddy/Daddy/whatever writhe around on the floor during the film clip in one of the worst attempts at acting ever may have something to do with it. All of these things and more make it a song I love and would happily belt out at karaoke. And as a fan of all things daggy, it just so appeals to me. This song makes me want to teleport back to 1997 wearing a furry white hat. Or puffy pants. Or both. This song is a totally worthy contender on our duets countdown. Don’t just take my word for it though (like you ever would). Worldwide sales show that many peeps have a soft spot in their hearts for it. The fact that it was a tribute for Notorious B.I.G. may have been an influencing factor (if you need the 411, here it is – Notorious B.I.G. was an American rapper shot dead in a drive-by). But hey, it even won a Grammy Award for Best Rap Performance by a Duo or Group. (Katie Langley)

#12. LEATHER AND LACE

by Stevie Nicks and Don Henley

Let's start with my most recent reason for loving 'Leather and Lace'. I was talking to my sister Sam about this little duets countdown we've got going and how Stevie Nicks and Don Henley would be making an appearance. In turn, Sam told me that if she ever renews her vows, has a second wedding to her husband or whatever you'd call it... anyway, she would wear lace, her husband would wear leather and this song would get played on repeat. I practically begged her to make this happen as soon as possible. It's like some sort of magical Stevie Nicks themed wedding. It's just too much. Sam, if you're reading, you really need to do this!


Moving right along, let's talk about 'Leather and Lace'. The breakout star of Fleetwood Mac teaming with her counterpart from The Eagles. Sparks flew when two of rock music's most celebrated performers joined up for Nicks' second solo single. Its released followed another of Nicks' duets, 'Stop Draggin' My Heart Around', which featured Tom Petty. While the latter climbed higher on the charts, it's the more complex 'Leather and Lace' I'd give the nod to as the favoured Nicks collaboration. Which is why you're reading about it here. Duh. Nicks has always been a fantastic storyteller, one of the greatest the music industry has ever seen, and 'Leather and Lace' treads in the bittersweet territory that so many of her other great works have. Presented as an honest conversation between two lovers (urgh, just pretend that word was preceded by meat and followed by pizza), we witness the ups and downs of a relationship expected to stand the test of time.


"Lovers forever, face to face, my city or mountain, stay with me stay, I need you to love me, I need you to today, give to me your leather, take from me my lace."


I think the lines, "I need you to love me, I need you today," hold a reserved desperation from Nicks that can make you rethink the entire relationship between her and Henley's 'characters'. But given Nicks' relationship to Henley (read, more than friends), it could be more than just playing roles, particularly given that Henley offered a lot of input into the writing. And since Nicks likes to throw much of her own private life into her music, it's believed that the song is about two rock stars. So it could be her and Henley. Or it could be about former Fleetwood Mac flame, Lindsey Buckingham. Whoever it's about, it makes for good drama and even better music. Nicks' voice is perfect, as always, and Henley matches her every step of the way. This is a duet packed full of real tension, a healthy dose of rock and roll charm and, at the end of the day, it's got Stevie Nicks in it. That's more than enough for it to get some love from me. (Matt Bond)

#11. I’VE SEEN IT ALL 

by Bjork and Thom Yorke

Bjork has for a very long time been a mainstay in my musiverse and when it was announced she was to star in a movie called Dancer In The Dark, a great amount of excitement filled my teenage brain that was overcome with a bilious wave of joy and anticipation. The movie and soundtrack were given to me on my 18th birthday from my mumma and the love affair with its lead single ‘I've Seen It All’ was quite instant.


"I've seen it all, I've seen the trees, I've seen the willow leaves dancing in the breeze." Such simple sentiments fill this song with a rebellious longing against an inevitable tragedy of the films main character dealing with losing her sight. It's the too and fro of her convincing her loved one that everything is going to be okay while also giving herself the kind of pep talk we as humans give when coming to terms with the heavy weight of our own fragility and mortality. Adding to the gravity of the track is the call and response between Bjork's projected innocence and Thom Yorke's effortless ethereal sensitivity, both dripping with heart, mourning and deviance.


It remains a song that is simultaneously uplifting and completely devastating. I ache completely at the force created by the combination of Bjork and Thom Yorke and fall helplessly at the feet of ‘I've Seen It All’. Helpless in its divine power and humanity. (Nayt Housman)



And that's it for part two... we'll be back with five more fantastic duets each Friday in May. Whoever could be next....?

The Candy Shop #26

Nayt's going all out with his costume this year.

How To Make A Frankenstein Clown Cake

by Nayt Housman

*WARNING! This post contains clowns not of the happy friendly kind…


It’s that time of year again when the flowers are blooming and the weather is warm, all the kids are out playing and the ghouls and ghosts are readying to knock on our doors. That’s right it’s HALLOWEEN!
I’ve never really been the type to get all dressed up and go trick or treating, but I still love Halloween and what I love most about it is one thing that scares the pants off most people but I adore them. CLOWNS. I secretly (not so secretly) want to be a clown. A creepy, sinister, sexy clown. I’m sure it’s possible… The recipe follows.


Add one cup of - The Clown (Le Queloune) 

[Editor's note - Nayt did provide a warning. The following video is not for the faint of heart.]

This actually the whole film. Its soundtrack is peaceful, beautiful and warm like a summer breeze that wraps around the antagonist clown's twitchy limbs while he discovers himself and his newfound palette for delicacies not uncommon on the plate of Hannibal. I need a big helping of this kind of quirk in my creepy, sexy clown.


A teaspoon of - Saw's Billy the Puppet (Original short film = less gory) 

This is the scariest, creepiest puppet clown ever invented. I do not condone the whole “making people choose their death” thing but I will imbibe a small amount of his scary.


One litre of - Goldfrapp's Clowns 

Alison Goldfrapp as a sexy clown? I needs this. I wants this. I must have this. Also if it means I get to dance around in a clown moo-moo then I’M IN!


A tablespoon of - Krusty and Sideshow Mel's Send In The Clowns

Possibly (or definitely) the most famous TV clown and his sidekick would make an excellent addition to my Frankenstein clown cake. HEY HEY KIDS!


Half a litre of - David Bowie's Threepenny Pierrot

“Gaytime eyes” need I say more. I’m not the biggest Bowie fan but damn this man put the sexy in clown. I’ll take one to GO. Combine all the ingredients well, pour into a cake tin and bake at 180 for 30 mins.


Once cooked add a sprinkling of - Amateur clown doing things to Bjork’s Pluto 

What’s crazier than a badly done up clown being weird in an abandoned house to a soundtrack of Bjork? Ummmmmmm… I’m dry with ideas but I want what she’s having, so she’s in the recipe!


And finally!


Serve with a big scoop of – Lucille Ball

 

She’s the sweetest, most adorable, and definitely most delicious clown the world has ever seen ever and all I really need to say is “LOOOOO-SEEEEEEE!” “WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHT?”

 

The Candy Shop #24

NEWS FLASH! Pop stars attack!

by Nayt Housman

A large number of us average non-celebrity folk seem to have an unusual obsession with the ins and outs of celebrity culture and never more so than when they GO CRAZY! Today I share my favourite moments when pop stars we all know and may or may not love go punching, bashing, knocking, slapping, shoving and high kicking their way into our hearts by keeping it real and showing us their 'vulnerable' side. After all they’re only human. Or are they?


Miss Piggy is and always will be one of the most influential DIVAs of our time and always looks so youthful. What’s her secret? KARATE! The Piggy Chop...

Miss Piggy is no ones Sunday morning breakfast and must never be taken for granted. She is a woman who controls her own destiny and her lips. She’s known to kiss and tell but 'Never On A Sunday'. 

Bjork wins the award for the most fierce and high-energy attack. I mean hot darn, I’d need a lie down after the first lash out but Bjork is a true athlete and she just keeps on wriggling and slapping up a storm. The Wildcat...

Bjork has always been a passionate performer and this performance was no different. She just has a lot of emotions and sometimes she’s a lil 'Violently Happy'.

Grace Jones has always been unapologetically DIVA and as long as things go her way, the waters will remain calm and the sailing will be smooth but OOOOOH girl, you had better not rock a queen’s boat! Hissy Fitting...

Forever a natural disaster (in the best kind of way) if you turn your back on her you better think about heading down to the storm shelter, coz honey she gon whip up one HELL of a 'Hurricane'.

Kanye West keeps upping the DIVA ante by pushing his celebrity weight around. Who’s his number one enemy? Cameras. Smashorama...

And…missed it by that much...

Kanye does not feel the love of the cameras in his face so he locks. them. DOWWWWN along with his 'Love Lockdown'.

Is Britney Spears queen of the pap attacks? She sure needs no blurb about her paparazzi attention or her umbrella-swinging prowess. I’d have done the same. I wish she’d rock the shaved head again. She used to be cool. Umbrellagate...

And this…The Masseur...

She may be great at foot massages; she’s bone-cracking good actually, even though her technique has some questionable elements but Brit is no 'Slave 4 U' regardless of what she says.

Finally…Amy Winehouse was born in the wrong era for sure. We know she loved the retro pop but I think she was far more suited to being a pirate wench (especially towards the end). The Keelhaul Brawl (I’m pretending she’s on a pirate ship)...

They tried to make her go to rehab but she said it best when she said 'You Know I’m No Good'

Why is it we love prying in on celebrity lives so much and why is it more exciting when we push them to breaking point? Is it because we worship them like demi-gods and when they show human elements it gives us our jollies? Do we get some kind of emotional angergasm? I’m not a shrink so I can’t answer that, but do I feel sorry for them? No…I desperately want to be a celebrity just so I can go off the rails and accidentally expose myself while kicking and scratching at some eager pap. YOU CAN’T MAKE ME GO TO REHAB!

The Candy Shop #22

'CRAPTASTICAL' Arrangements 

(Problems With My Musical Bowels)

by Nayt Housman

You know when you hear a song and at first you think wtf? But then you end up loving it? THAT is a craptastic song. Sometimes it will be one that simply lingers in your head all day even though it’s not something you’re really into, or one where the lyrics sound so naff you can’t imagine why they’d be used but then work their way into your daily vocabulary by word osmosis. They’re kind of like an infection of some kind, but an infection that leaves you better off than before…


Let the infecting begin.

Jack Jack Jackie 
by Joanne

Even though it’s not her song originally, Joanne surely made this one her own and it didn’t matter how bad her dancing was or really how bad the song was in general, it’s just one of the most catchy and infectious songs. The reason I’ll never escape it is randomly live brings a ‘Jack’ or ‘Jackie’ into my life and BAM, it’s in my head again… DAMN YOU JACK OR JACKIE!

Lola 
by The Kinks  

I’m going to be lynched by some for this but rhyming Lola and cherry cola = craptastic. Sometimes I wonder how such “crackers the clown” lyrics can work so well in a song and really who am I to argue? LA LA LA LA LOLA!

Robert De Niro’s Waiting 
by Bananarama

Bananarama are possibly one of the most craptastic bands of the 80’s with so many kitsch songs infecting our brains and getting lodged somewhere in our memory stores, never to be erased. Why is Robert De Niro waiting? Should I actually listen to the lyrics in each verse to find out? Too much effort… I’ll just sing along with the chorus.

Babooska 
by Kate Bush

Kate Bush is truly a music pioneer for the bizarre and quirky. Her most intriguing and alluring talent would have to be, not her singing, but rather her dancing. She twitches and glides, somehow turning her body into some kind of hypnotic idol. People have worshipped her for many years and will continue to do so as long as her hypnotic hips continue to be seen.

Hooting And Howling 
by Wild Beasts

When I first heard this song I was addicted! Singing like Liza Minelli with lyrics like “courting him in fisty-cuffing waltz” and “any rival who goes for our girls, will be left in thumb sucking terror” I knew they didn’t care about the “cool” factor of rock and were really just making some of the best story telling music I think I’ve ever heard but with more kitsch and kink than I could have ever imagined. CRAPTASTIGASM!

Zombie 
by The Cranberries

(Yes I did feature this in our 90s count down already, don’t judge) Zombie heads! That’s a sure fire way of piquing the interest of a 12yo boy. I LOVE ZOMBIES! I never actually knew this song was an anti war song referring to the IRA bombing in Cheshire. I just thought they were singing about bombing and killing zombies. Either way it works for me, and I think I drove my family nuts repeatedly singing “ZOHHHMBEH ZOHHHHMBEH-EH-EEEEH-EH-EEEEH-EH OHHH-OH-OHHH-OH!”

It’s Oh So Quiet 
by Bjork

I really do miss “Pop Bjork”, such amazing unhinged music sensibilities… Does that make sense? No? Good. Bjork often makes no sense but I can’t help but adore her. When I first heard It’s Oh So Quiet I effing hated it. Like HATED it, until I developed an overwhelming crush on a guy (I can’t even remember who anymore) and then it all made so much sense. An addiction was developed, and my love for Craptastic music evolved and took over. Bjork I blame you! Bjork I love you and thank you.


Of course there are so many Craptastic songs out there that have infected peoples brains since the inception of popular music so this is just a small sampler of my addiction. What’s your most Craptastic song? Who’s your most Craptastic band? Do you even succumb to the craptasticness of craptasticism? Are you a Craptasticite?

The Candy Shop #19

BRING BACK THE BRASS!

For Fans Of A Big Horn

by Nayt Housman

It was big in the ‘30s/‘40s/’50s then flopped, was revived in the ‘80s then went soft for a while until a revival in the ‘90s. Will it grow again? Has it returned? Is it still too daggy because your dad liked it?


Today in The Candy Shop I endeavour to find out, as I share my love affair of the toots and honks of a good brass horn (aka saxophone, trumpet or any other brassy tooting instrument) over the last 60-ish years. So go to the closet, pull out your old horn and dust it off ready for some action. PAAAAARRRRRRRRP!


The jazz era was big on big band brass and oh what an era it was. I wouldn’t be privy to it’s glory had I not purchased one of those cheesy box set of “jazz classics” which introduced me to such delights as these…

The Peacocks 

by Bill Evans Trio featuring Stan Getz

I remember hearing this for the first time and getting major chills. Stunning piece, so classy and sad.

Salt Peanuts 
by Dizzy Gillespie 

Lunacy! Pure lunacy. I LOVE IT!

Brass seemed to have faded away mostly until it was again adopted in the 80s bigger, better and cheesier than ever. Cheesy is not a swear word! Everyone loves a cheesy horn…

Smooth Operator 

by Sade

Oh lordy cheeses sliced! Does pop really get much better than this? Not only is Sade one of the most beautiful women in the world with one of the sexiest voices ever but man she made the right decision to include tootingly good brass in this song.

Bakers Street 

by Gerry Rafferty

This is actually the first song I remember hearing and thinking “Wow! Saxophone is AWESOME!” What a classic.

Careless Whisper 

by George Michael

George you’ve featured quite a lot in The Candy Shop lately but really who can resist you? (Except for cops in public toilets you’re cruising.) Faux pas aside this is some great sex…errrr sax.

Chant No.1 

by Spandau Ballet

I learnt of this song working in my shitty retail job. The one benefit of shitty retail (particularly in my place of employment) is the amazing (this is subjective) music I keep discovering.

Never Tear Us Apart 

by INXS 

A beautiful song, a beautiful man, a beautiful horn…solo.

Hail the 90s! You may not have noticed much tooting during this decade but it’s surely there, especially with the ska revival (remember No Doubt and well, The Mighty Mighty Bosstones). Also there’s Kenny G though lets try not to think about him too hard. Kenny G = Bad Cheese.

Break In The Weather 

 by Jenny Morris

This is one of my all time fave songs. The sax, the floating lips, giant eye, trumpeting ventriloquist dummy and OH the dancing! The fist-pumps beside her face are my fave moves. You are so classy Jenny…so classy indeed.

Bathwater 

by No Doubt

Were No Doubt responsible for reviving the horn section in the 90s? WHO CARES! I only care how awesome this song (and the album Tragic Kingdom) were and that they reintroduced me to some gold shiny brassy goodness. I was hardly going to credit The Mighty Mighty Bosstones.

History Repeating 

by The Propellerheads ft. Shirley Bassey

Combining old and new, Bassy and brassy never sounded so good.

00s and beyond and my love of the horn only grows stronger, however, apart from the odd Gaga or Katy Perry track, it’s still not a common element to current pop music.

Lady 

by Regina Spektor

This was never a single but by far one of my favourite Regina Spektor songs. Her Brooklyn accent, touching lyrics and simple piano combined with one of the most emotional sax sections I’ve ever heard. Music needn’t be complicated to be pure perfection.

Only Here For The Fight 

by Jenny Wilson 

Highly underrated and incredibly talented, Jenny Wilson combines the perfect amount of quirk with comedy and well, brass. Rather than incorporating it as a specific solo the brass slowly creeps in toward the end until it crescendos then slowly fades. Gorgeooooous.

Never Again 

by Spender

This dashing Australian saxophonist is not only good for a blow but is a craftsman of some deliciously poptastic tunes. One I will be keeping my ears closely tuned to.

Aeroplane 

by Bjork

There is no way I could leave out Bjork. Always the one to go against the grain and in this song pretty much dominated by it’s horn section is definitely a fave from this impish lil fire cracker.
It’s funny how a single instrument can make you fall in love with an entire song. 

I always say to get into new music it either has to be a simply amazing song or it needs to have what I call an “in”. A single element to connect with, that opens me up to the whole song, that may not always be within my realm of taste but for me the brass section, specifically a good bit of sax has been my 'in' for so many great songs. Now excuse me while I go play with my horn.

*We are aware sax is actually a woodwind instrument but for the sake of this post if it toots and honks and is made of brass it qualifies.

The Candy Shop #7

The Candy Shop #7:

Coke or Pepsi? Aero Bar or Bubbly?

by Nayt Housman

You know when you have a fave confectionary or drink and then another competing brand has almost exactly the same thing but you always like one better? What do you find you like more, the original or the copy? This week I search the meaning to why I love my fave cover songs and are they better than the originals?


In the month of November 2012, I had the pleasure of seeing Radiohead for the first time in my life. In the third encore (YES! THREE ENCORE’S) I heard a song, I listened, my eyes glazed over then I realized it was Bjork’s ‘Unravel’, then the leaking began, yes, it’s one of my fave songs. Ever. A song so simple, delicate and bittersweet that it is capable of making me “ugly cry” while I drown my sorrows by emotionally devouring a microwave chocolate cake.


Radiohead ‘Unravel’ (Bjork cover)





Bjork ‘Unravel’

And the winner is? IT’S A TIE! I love the Radiohead cover, Thom’s voice adds sorrow and tenderness, but the warmth and pure innocence delivered by Bjork is equally as endearing. I just can’t choose and would be happy to die with either version on repeat.

Let’s just say I have always been a bit of a Fiona Apple fan, and sometimes I spend a lot of obsessive time consuming anything Apple on the Y’Tube. Well, several years ago I discovered this cover of Elvis Costello’s ‘I Want You’. Now think what you will but I’ve never listened to much Costello and what I have heard had the potential to leave me “baron” and “wanting”. So how does his music fare when it has an injection from the crazy, bitter and slightly manic Fiona Apple syringe?


Fiona Apple ‘I Want You’ (Elvis Costello cover)





Elvis Costello ‘I Want You’



 

And the winner is? FIONA (durrrr). There are moments where Elvis looks like he might fall asleep, like he bores himself even, but when Fiona gets her teeth into it I can feel the venom she spits forth and she performs with an electric presence. I swear I’m not bias…

Winner: Fiona. No Bias.

I first heard this song around 13 years ago and fell instantly in love with it because it’s lyrics (inspired by the 1896 story Disillusionment (Enttäuschung) by Thommas Mann) validated my numb, angst laden “emo” leanings at the time.


PJ Harvey ‘Is That All There Is’ (Dan Daniels cover)





‘Is That All There Is’ Dan Daniels





And the winner is? PJ HARVEY! This song has been covered dozens of times by some pretty big names but most often those who recycled it kept the same “All this just bores me so I’ma partay” attitude whereas PJ Harvey (and John Parish) made it a depressing mantra for the absurdist.

I love how a good cover can make us completely rethink a song and even just get us to listen to a song from an artist we may have never heard of or genre we wouldn’t normally admire. One thing is for sure I need all the help I can get to get out of my music bubble, so if it’s because of a cover song then to all musicians out there, keep doing awesome covers from genres you may not be part of. It’s the best way to make an old stubborn duck like me sit up, listen and taste a new brand.

20 Years, 100 Songs...

Triple J's Hottest 100 of the past 20 years has been counted down to numero uno, with Oasis' 'Wonderwall' taking the top spot. The cheers of anti-'Thrift Shop' punters could be heard around Australia, or more specifically in my bedroom, as the realisation that Macklemore and Ryan Lewis failed to place AT ALL hit home. Australian acts made up just over a quarter of the list, but female artists found themselves severely underrepresented. No PJ Harvey, Bjork or Courtney Love to be seen. But 'Thrift Shop' didn't make the list, so it does have that going for it. What else did we learn, let's see... well, The Killers remain surprisingly relevant, while former Hottest 100 #1 artists Denis Leary and Alex Lloyd do not. And did I mention 'Thrift Shop' didn't make the list? Well it didn't and we all lived happily ever after.


I attempted to do up a list last month in preparation for voting in this Hottest 100 and now, I share it with you. Culling down to 100 of my favourite songs over the past two decades and then only being able to pick twenty was quite a hard thing to do. To not venture into crazy personal choice territory too much, I tried to limit myself to tracks that had featured in the previous Hottest 100's as much as possible. There were only five exceptions to this rule (I think). This list will be by no means perfect to some/everyone (duh!), but if the J's Hottest 100 of the past 20 years told us anything, no list is. But it comes close if it doesn't have 'Thrift Shop' in it. Enjoy!

20 Years, 100 Songs...

by Matt Bond

1. The White Stripes - Seven Nation Army
2. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Maps (Didn't Make the Hottest 100)
3. Foo Fighters - Everlong
4. Powderfinger - My Kind of Scene (Didn't Make the Hottest 100)
5. Oasis - Wonderwall
6. Radiohead - Paranoid Android
7. Lauryn Hill - Doo Wop (That Thing) (Didn't Make the Hottest 100)
8. The Smashing Pumpkins - 1979
9. Bjork - Hyperballad
10. Blur - Song 2
11. System of A Down - Chop Suey
12. Massive Attack - Teardrop
13. The Prodigy - Breathe
14. Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds - The Ship Song
15. Garbage - Only Happy When It Rains
16. Edward Sharpe and The Magnetic Zeros - Home
17. Radiohead - Creep
18. Gotye ft. Kimbra - Somebody That I Used To Know
19. The Cranberries - Zombie
20. The Avalanches - Since I Left You
21. Garbage - Vow
22. Killing Heidi - Weir
23. PJ Harvey - Rid Of Me (Didn't Make The Hottest 100)
24. The Waifs - London Still
25. Pearl Jam - Given To Fly
26. Missy Elliott - Work It
27. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Californication
28. Silverchair - Miss You Love
29. Spiderbait - Buy Me A Pony
30. Hole - Violet
31. Tame Impala - Elephant
32. The xx - Angels
33. M.I.A - Paper Planes
34. Crystal Fighters - At Home (Didn't Make The Hottest 100)
35. Gorillaz - Clint Eastwood
36. Seeker Lover Keeper - Even Though I'm A Woman
37. Kimbra - Cameo Lover
38. Crystal Castles ft. Robert Smith - Not In Love
39. Kanye West ft. Pusha-T - Runaway
40. Pearl Jam - Better Man
41. Rage Against the Machine - Killing In The Name
42. Kylie Minogue - Confide In Me
43. Silverchair - Tomorrow
44. Ben Folds Five - Brick
45. Powderfinger - These Days
46. Augie March - One Crowded Hour
47. Tori Amos - Cornflake Girl
48. Garbage - Push It
49. OutKast - Hey Ya!
50. Arctic Monkeys - I Bet That You Look Good On The Dancefloor
51. The Verve - Bittersweet Symphony
52. Bjork - Human Behaviour
53. Queens of the Stone Age - No One Knows
54. Placebo - Every You Every Me
55. Nine Inch Nails - Closer
56. Franz Ferdinand - Take Me Out
57. Beastie Boys - Sabotage
58. Custard - Girls Like That (Don't Go For Guys Like Us)
59. No Doubt - Just A Girl
60. The Killers - When You Were Young
61. The Smashing Pumpkins - Tonight, Tonight
62. Spiderbait - Calypso
63. Garbage - #1 Crush
64. Fuel - Shimmer
65. Killing Heidi - Mascara
66. The Dresden Dolls - Coin-Operated Boy
67. Hole - Celebrity Skin
68. Soundgarden - Black Hole Sun
69. Portishead - Glory Box
70. Bush - Glycerine
71. The Smashing Pumpkins - Disarm
72. Ben Lee - Cigarettes Will Kill You
73. Grinspoon - Chemical Heart
74. Jeff Buckley - Last Goodbye
75. Silverchair - Freak
76. Hilltop Hoods - The Nosebleed Section
77. Presidents of the USA - Lump
78. The Cure - Friday I'm In Love
79. Sia - Breathe Me
80. Regina Spektor - On The Radio
81. The Presets - Talk Like That
82. The Grates - Science Is Golden
83. The Offspring - Self Esteem
84. Muse - Time Is Running Out
85. The Presets - My People
86. MGMT - Kids
87. Art Vs Science - Parlez Vous Francais
88. Florence + The Machine - Dog Days Are Over
89. The Superjesus - Down Again
90. Nirvana - Heart-Shaped Box
91. Bloc Party - Hunting For Witches
92. Frenzal Rhomb - Never Had So Much Fun
93. The Gossip - Standing In The Way Of Control
94. Bjork - It's Oh So Quiet
95. The Whitlams - No Aphrodisiac
96. Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds ft. Kylie Minogue - Where The Wild Roses Grow
97. Custard - Apartment
98. Magic Dirt - Dirty Jeans
99. The Smashing Pumpkins - Today
100. Veruca Salt - Seether

It's All Coming Back To Me Now - It Don't Matter If You're Black Or White

Michael and Janet: Incredible in any colour.

It Don't Matter If You're Black or White...

Unless We're Talking About Music Videos

by Jo Michelmore

Once, not so long ago, when I was a tiny little girl, I had a strange concept of the world. I saw old film clips and television footage of things that had happened long ago and naturally, everything was in black and white. This amazed me. At some stage, the whole world had been black and white and then suddenly everything turned colour? How dull things must have been! How would you choose what to wear each day if everything was just a shade of grey? It would make accessorising easier, I suppose, but food would be kind of boring, wouldn’t it? Chips just don’t seem like they’d taste the same if they were a shade of grey, with grey sauce and a glass of black, thanks. Of course eventually (!?) I realised it was just how things were filmed; the type of film was black and white, not the whole world (although, admittedly, some days are more black and white than others aren’t they, metaphorically speaking). On a very ‘black and white’ day this week, I was watching one of my fave future vintage clips (more about this later) and it got me thinking about the thing I want to discuss this week. The black and white clip. Creative? Sometimes. Interesting? Sometimes. Boring? Sometimes. Amazing? Sometimes.

Baby Love

by The Supremes (1964) 

So it was ok to have a clip in black and white in the 60’s, because everything was black and white, right? Um, yep, according to five year old me, that’s how the world worked then. No? Oh well, just an excuse to watch one of my favourite groups from the 60’s. Let’s move on….

Every Breath You Take

by The Police (1983) 

Oh yay, it’s everyone’s favourite creepy stalker song. Stop watching me Sting. Stop counting my breaths, you weirdo. What are you doing anyway, standing there, creepily caressing your double bass, singing off to the distance and who is that guy cleaning windows while the band plays underneath? Why are there windows in this clip? Are the windows being cleaned because you have an unhealthy obsession with windows? With clean windows? Clean because you can peep through them easier while watching every move, every step, every breath your poor unsuspecting victim takes? You’re weird Sting; really, really weird.

It's All Coming Back To Me Now - ...Look Back In Anger

Raaaaaage!!!!

Don't Look Back In Anger

by Jo Michelmore

The things that make me angry list is not a very long one, because I tend to compartmentalise the things on the list into sections and generally the things that make me angry fall into only a couple of categories:

Ignorant people (which can be generally sub-grouped under thoughtless/stupid people)

Arrogant people (which can be generally sub-grouped under thoughtless/stupid people)

Red traffic lights and stop signs.

Hypocritical people (which can be generally sub-grouped under thoughtless/stupid people)

Homophobic people (which can be generally sub-grouped under thoughtless/stupid people)

Sexist people (which can be generally sub-grouped under thoughtless/stupid people)

The use of the word ‘literal’ when something is not ‘literal’

Racist people (which can be generally sub-grouped under thoughtless/stupid people)

That thing when a fast food outlet offers some deliciously tasty treat for a limited time and you just get to really love it and then they take it off the menu.

Thoughtless/stupid (read: inconsiderate/unkind/uncaring/selfish/insensitive/rude/untrustworthy/impolite) people

The point is this: something happened this week which kinda annoyed me, to the point (for a minute there) of anger. The thing that happened related to one of the ten categories above. You decide which. Until you’ve figured it out, I’ve found some of my favourite angry songs, some a bit vintage, some new vintage, mostly 90’s (wow, people seemed to be super angry in the 90’s, didn’t they?) which I like to play loudly and sing (or scream) loudly when I’m angry. Then I get over it, ‘cause I’ve usually figured out after a song or two that if someone is to make me so angry, they’re probably not worth my energy. Then I get really happy ‘cause I remember that mostly for me, music makes everything better and even angry songs make me happy. Then I start listening to something happy and less angry and probably vintage and cheesy (hello Whitney!) and everything is ok again.

 Head Like A Hole (1990)

by Nine Inch Nails

This is one of my favourite angry songs. There’s nothing better than singing the chorus, loudly, in the car. Ok, that may be an exaggeration. Don’t tell me you haven’t felt that angry about someone or something at some stage. You haven’t? You haven’t lived. I’ll dedicate this one to ignorant people.

“Head like a hole, black as your soul, I’d rather die than give you control”

 Shitlist (1992)

by L7

I’m going to admit, I’ve never been a big fan of L7 (which might make anyone who is into their 90’s music a little angry; oops, sorry) but I’ve always liked the concept of this song. I’ve never actually written a shitlist. Maybe I should put that on the bucketlist. But then, the bucketlist concept makes me angry and I want to put people who make busketlists on my shitlist and then I realise I’ve never written one and the cycle starts again. I’ll dedicate this one to arrogant people.

“When I get mad and I get pissed, I grab my pen and I write out a list of all the people that won't be missed, you've made my shitlist”