Where Is My Mind? - Halloween Is...

Yep, Celine Dion makes me do that too...

...So Yesterday Already

by Jo Michelmore

Yep, today's the day, tonight's the night. Halloween. I know you're probably sick of it all already, 'cause I kind of am. I mean, when Halloween falls on a school night, the celebration is either the weekend before or the weekend after, isn't it? For me? The weekend before. While I didn't have a costume planned pre-Saturday night, I was kind of impressed with my suppressed goth/emo tendencies and the ability to pull together a black lace maxi dress, a whole lot of black beads, some black make up eyes, a lacey shawl and a whole pile of black flowers in my hair and wha-la! What have you got? A black widow/ghost type thing. Ok, that's what I told myself and what got me through the night, so leave me alone.


Anyway, what I'm saying is that's old news! That's last weekend! It might be Halloween today, but where I live, no one cares! Scary clowns? Zombies? Vampires? Ghosts? Whatever! You're done for the year again! So, because I'm so over it, what I'm here to celebrate are the sweetest, nicest, most darling pop songs ever. Anything and everything BUT scary. Or are they?


We left last week on an incredibly depressing note with 10CC's I'm Not In Love, so I thought it would be appropriate to start on another depressing song with love in the title..

Well, that's probably a bit unfair. I mean, the song itself is sweet, a forlorn and heartbroken Whitney Houston singing her little heart out about her lost love, who in this case, happens to be her co-star in The Bodyguard, Kevin Costner. Yes, Kevin Costner. Actually, Kevin Costner? Is there anything about Kevin Costner one would want to sing a love song about? No, no there's not. Actually, he's a little bit creepy, that Kevin Costner. Nope, this one's not so sweet then. Let's put that in the creepy Halloween pile and move on.

Ok, let's go from one vocal powerhouse to another, Celine Dion. Her song 'My Heart Will Go On' was one of the biggest selling singles in the world in the 90s and what a beautiful ballad it was, taken from that film, Titanic, about that giant floating coffin, the boat on which more than 1500 people died in 1912. Actually, that's not very sweet at all. That's tragic and Celine Dion made millions off that tragedy with this song! Right, another one we thought was sweet but actually belongs in the creepy Halloween pile. Let's move on.

Well, if the girls can't be sweet, let's look at some boys. I've gone for some Australian boys, because that's where I'm from. It's Savage Garden, of course. Who could forget this beautiful ballad? I think people might have played this at their weddings in the late 90s. Isn't that sweet? Except right at the end of the song he says he wants to "stand like this forever, until the sky falls down on me" What Darren? Forever? Well, that's just not possible, unless you're a vampire or a zombie. Also, you want the sky to fall down on you? Are you wishing for the apocalypse? Seriously? You want to be a vampire/zombie who witnesses the end of the world as we know it? I thought you were so sweet Darren Hayes. Seems I was wrong, another one for the creepy Halloween pile. Let's move on.

Well, I've looked to the girls, I looked to the boys, let's try a girl with a boys name (Toni's across the blogosphere gasp "my name is not a boys name! Sorry, it is.) Toni Braxton. Such a dramatic, sweet ballad about the loss of a true love...except, it's not actually possible to 'unbreak' a heart or 'uncry' a tear. You can stop crying, yes, but you can't uncry them. As for unbreaking a heart, I'm not even sure unbreak is a word. Unbreakable, sure, but unbreak? That's just poor use of words Toni. I'm going to have to stick you in the creepy Halloween pile for such abuse of the English language. Let's move on.

Surely old Taylor Swift won't disappoint, right? This is the sweetest little pop song, ever, isn't it? I got a gift once from a very, very, very good friend; a birthday card that played this little song every time I opened it. How...sweet(?). Romeo, Juliet, marry me you never have to be alone..."it's a love story baby just say yes"...it would be beautiful except, it's so incredibly sweet it makes me wanna vom. C'mon, seriously, you didn't think I could do a post about sweet love songs, did you? Really? I mean, I'll sing along to this one as much as anyone else, but there's a reason that friend gave me that birthday card...'cause it was so bad it was good. Like, laugh til you vom good. Yep, Taylor, you're just too sweet, let's stick you in the so sweet I don't trust you and you're actually a little bit creepy pile...


Where will my mind take you next week? Somewhere much less creepy, one hopes, right?

The Candy Shop #26

Nayt's going all out with his costume this year.

How To Make A Frankenstein Clown Cake

by Nayt Housman

*WARNING! This post contains clowns not of the happy friendly kind…


It’s that time of year again when the flowers are blooming and the weather is warm, all the kids are out playing and the ghouls and ghosts are readying to knock on our doors. That’s right it’s HALLOWEEN!
I’ve never really been the type to get all dressed up and go trick or treating, but I still love Halloween and what I love most about it is one thing that scares the pants off most people but I adore them. CLOWNS. I secretly (not so secretly) want to be a clown. A creepy, sinister, sexy clown. I’m sure it’s possible… The recipe follows.


Add one cup of - The Clown (Le Queloune) 

[Editor's note - Nayt did provide a warning. The following video is not for the faint of heart.]

This actually the whole film. Its soundtrack is peaceful, beautiful and warm like a summer breeze that wraps around the antagonist clown's twitchy limbs while he discovers himself and his newfound palette for delicacies not uncommon on the plate of Hannibal. I need a big helping of this kind of quirk in my creepy, sexy clown.


A teaspoon of - Saw's Billy the Puppet (Original short film = less gory) 

This is the scariest, creepiest puppet clown ever invented. I do not condone the whole “making people choose their death” thing but I will imbibe a small amount of his scary.


One litre of - Goldfrapp's Clowns 

Alison Goldfrapp as a sexy clown? I needs this. I wants this. I must have this. Also if it means I get to dance around in a clown moo-moo then I’M IN!


A tablespoon of - Krusty and Sideshow Mel's Send In The Clowns

Possibly (or definitely) the most famous TV clown and his sidekick would make an excellent addition to my Frankenstein clown cake. HEY HEY KIDS!


Half a litre of - David Bowie's Threepenny Pierrot

“Gaytime eyes” need I say more. I’m not the biggest Bowie fan but damn this man put the sexy in clown. I’ll take one to GO. Combine all the ingredients well, pour into a cake tin and bake at 180 for 30 mins.


Once cooked add a sprinkling of - Amateur clown doing things to Bjork’s Pluto 

What’s crazier than a badly done up clown being weird in an abandoned house to a soundtrack of Bjork? Ummmmmmm… I’m dry with ideas but I want what she’s having, so she’s in the recipe!


And finally!


Serve with a big scoop of – Lucille Ball

 

She’s the sweetest, most adorable, and definitely most delicious clown the world has ever seen ever and all I really need to say is “LOOOOO-SEEEEEEE!” “WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHT?”

 

Hipster Halloween 2013

Well, I guess we're actually pretty late on putting up some sort of Halloween playlist. It seems there were a lot of Halloween parties this weekend. Which makes no sense because Halloween isn't until Thursday and there's a closer weekend to it. Maybe people are just partying more and will celebrate Halloween twice (in a different costume?) next weekend too. Maybe not. Whatever though... Halloween itself is on Thursday and all you hipsters in the crowd must be in need of some music to get you through the night. Songs about ghosts, demons, werewolves and witchcraft. But they've got to be pretty new songs. You can't be caught listening to the 'Monster Mash' or 'Thriller'. You're just too cool for school in your totally ironic costume. Which is probably no costume at all because it's a Thursday and you're not at a party or anything. Is it even cool to go to Halloween parties anymore? The answer is yes, but you'll probably say no, sweet hipster.


Anyway, we've got your ghoulish tunes covered with the Hipster Halloween 2013 playlist. Listen to the end and you might just be in for a real scare too. OoooOoooOooooh. That's a ghost sound. Not really as effective in text, right? Just enjoy the music... and happy Halloween! For Thursday.

HIPSTER HALLOWEEN 2013 PLAYLIST:

It's not exactly terrifying... just awesome.

1. Sharon Van Etten - Serpents

2. Esben and the Witch - Deathwaltz

3. MS MR - Bones

4. Little Boots - Superstitious Heart

5. Disclosure ft. AlunaGeorge - White Noise

6. Crystal Fighters - Bridge of Bones

7. Abbe May - T.R.O.U.B.L.E

8. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Sacrilege

9. Ride Into The Sun - Hunt Like Wolves

10. Ginger and The Ghost - One Type of Dark

11. Chela - Guts

12. The National - Demons

13. Ella Hooper - Haxan

14. MGMT - Alien Days

15. Escort - Barbarians

16. Snakadaktal - Ghost

17. Astrid and The Asteroids - Autopsy

18. Gin Wigmore - Kill of the Night

19. Deep Sea Arcade - Black Cat

The Nightmare Before Halloween

The Nightmare Before Christmas would have to be one of my favourite movies. The music, the characters, the story, stop motion animation... I love it! Because I have nothing to do, I watched it again a couple of days ago and I can't get the music out of my head. While there aren't any songs from the film on ze iPod, there's the Nightmare Revisited album that came out in 2008. Big name acts like Marilyn Manson, Korn, Amy Lee and The Polyphonic Spree covered the songs and it was pretty much amazing. My present to you... some of the best covers AND the best songs from the movie. PLUS in case you didn't know, it's almost Halloween, so what better time to bust these out than now? It's probably best not to watch the videos from the film if you haven't seen it!

This Is Halloween

Sally's Song

Kidnap The Sandy Klaws

Oogie Boogie's Song

Finale/Reprise

Halloween Pop Playlist

Alright, here's the last of the Halloween playlists and this one's for the pop fans! Think of this as the anti-hipster playlist. Luckily I did a hipster playlist, so everyone's a winner. If you really want, you can combine all four playlists into a 40 song megalist (sometimes I make up words) and hopefully keep everyone at the party happy! Who am I kidding, it's impossible to satisfy everyone's music tastes... good luck!

Halloween Pop Playlist

Lady Gaga - Monster

I'm looking forward to seeing some interesting Gaga costumes on Halloween. Hopefully someone will go all out and strap some grade A beef to their body ala the VMA meat dress. That would be nasty and slightly impressive. Anyway, she's the Queen of the Monsters, we're all her little monsters and you won't find a more appropriate trashy pop song to play on Halloween than 'Monster.'

Rihanna - Disturbia

It's like that movie Disturbia... only not.

Evanescence - Haunted

Where exactly does Evanescence fit in? Most hardcore metal fans dismiss them as pop/rock and they do sell a lot of records so that makes them popular so I guess they're pop. Now that's logic. P.S. Amy Lee, I love you!

Ne-Yo - Beautiful Monster

Can there really be such a thing as a beautiful monster? Isn't that a binary opposition?

Sneaky Sound System - UFO

Aliens and astronauts can boogie to this one. Well, everyone can boogie to this one, but aliens and astronauts will look funny.

Little Boots - Ghost

Have I mentioned enough how lame it is to dress up as a ghost? I need to clarify that this only applies to adults. There's a kid's happy ghost costume (a sheet with a smiley face on it - 29.99) which was actually pretty cute. So kids - you can go as ghosts. Adults - I'll call you lame.

Nelly Furtado - Maneater

Cannibalism is scary and also illegal.

Florence + The Machine - Howl

... I just wanted to get Florence on here. It does work though!

Soko - I'll Kill Her

There's nothing funny about death threats. The police take this very seriously. Trust me...

James Blunt - You're Beautiful

1. It's about stalking which is scary and also illegal. 2. It's James Blunt and that fact alone makes it scarier than any song on these playlists.

Maybe this list was a bit random... any pop hits you can offer? Hope you've enjoyed the Halloween playlists for 2010!

Rock & Metal Halloween Playlist

When last we met, I said there was only one more Halloween Playlist to go. I lied. Why? Because I didn't offer you an appropriate amount of rock and metal songs. Metal in particular is a genre ripe with hundreds of songs you can play on Halloween. Everything's about death, mysticism and the supernatural. If you dust off some of your parentals old time rock and roll records you'll probably find some good stuff too. So without further ado, here's ten of the best.

Rock & Metal Halloween Playlist

Metallica - Enter Sandman

Don't fall asleep. The Sandman's coming to get you and it's not the nice one that leaves all that sleep junk in your eye. Perfect for Halloween, if only for the creepily effective use of the 'Hush Little Baby' lullaby and 'Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep' prayer.

AC/DC - Highway To Hell

There'll be that one guy at the party that will do air guitar to it and think he's awesome. Hopefully he'll be in a ridiculous costume.

Creedence Clearwater Revival - Bad Moon Rising

'Bad Moon Rising' is about Werewolves right?

Marilyn Manson - If I Was Your Vampire

How could you have a halloween party without some Manson? If you're willing to put this on at a party, why not go all out and throw on some Slipknot and Rammstein too!

Rob Zombie - Dragula

If you didn't read the last edition... his name has Zombie in it! You can't go wrong.

Johnny Cash - Ghost Riders In The Sky

One for all the cowboys at the party. For where there is a costume party, there is a cowboy. And at least three pirates. And one Joker.

Pantera - Cemetery Gates

People should write more songs about cemeteries. That's not a weird thing to say. Maybe a little.

Alice Cooper - Feed My Frankenstein

There's so many Alice songs you could use. 'Welcome To My Nightmare' and 'Poison' would also be awesome. But, if you're trying to mix it up as much as possible, stick with 'Feed My Frankenstein.' Hopefully there's someone dressed as Frankenstein's monster and you can literally feed them.

Meat Loaf - Bat Out of Hell

Just don't play 'I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That).' Yes, there's a time and place for it... just not at a Halloween party.

Kidney Thieves - Before I'm Dead

Eh, I like it. It was played at the end of Queen of the Damned. Lestat > Edward.

Ok, so one more playlist to go. The more pop-ish/random one and you're going to love it. No, seriously. Please come back....

Classic Halloween Playlist

Welcome back. Today we're going to be taking a look at our second Halloween themed playlist for the year. You may remember the first one, Hipster Halloween, which looked at some appropriate music that the "cooler" members of society could play for their "friends" at their Halloween par-tays this year. Par-tay may not be a hip word so you might have to use shindig or box social. The songs you'll find in this playlist are more fun. There's some cheesy numbers, some TV themes and some all time classics. What they all have in common is that they are perfectly suited to be played throughout the Halloween season. Let's get to it!

Classic Halloween Playlist

Michael Jackson - Thriller

Does this need an explanation? Wait until everyone is (un)acceptably inebriated, put this song on and watch the beauty of drunks trying to do the 'Thriller' dance. Make sure you have a camera ready to film it too.

Frank-N-Furter - Sweet Transvestite

Chances are someone's going to be in a Rocky Horror inspired costume, so let them have their moment to shine by playing some of the musical's best songs. Start with 'Sweet Transvestite' and then let's do the 'Time Warp' again.

The Nightmare Before Christmas - This Is Halloween

Alternatively, you could use Marilyn Mansons's version of the song. Even better, use both!

Mark Snow - The X-Files

Is there a TV theme spookier than The X-Files? Well, Lost's is pretty spooky, but that goes for about two seconds, so we're going to need something that will last a little bit longer.

Aqua - Halloween

Did somebody order cheese? Complete with the worst version of the Scream phone call opening, this is one of the most horrible songs of all time. But it's perfect for Halloween.

Bobby Pickett - The Monster Mash

Again, much better when everyone's a bit tipsy. Crazy people in costumes busting out their best 60s moves. Dracula doing the twist, a mummy doing that weird swimming move and the loser in the ghost costume doing probably nothing because you can't tell what they're doing anyway under that sheet. If you're lucky, someone will know how to do the actual monster mash and try to get everyone to do it with them... and fail.

White Zombie - I'm Your Boogie Man

Rob Zombie's great. And his name and his band's name have zombie in it. You can't go wrong.

Greenskeepers - Lotion

It still worries me that these guys made a song about Buffalo Bill. Anyway, it's another perfect song for Halloween that's hilarious if you don't think about how messed up it is.

Roisin Murphy - Ramalama (Bang Bang)

If you want to impress people at your party, make sure you learn the choreography in the video above. Shouldn't be too hard.

A Nightmare on Elm Street Theme

Play this while guests are arriving to the party to get everyone in that spooky mood. This may or may not cause them to drink more to ease the terrifying feeling that will wash over them. It's probably best you don't let anyone pass out though. You can still have nightmares when you pass out, right?

Another playlist down and there's only one more to go. Next time I'll be picking out a whole random bunch of songs, mostly popular ones, that you can play on All Hallows' Eve. Oh, if you run into Freddy Krueger in your dreams tonight, not my fault, but I hope you survive.

Hipster Halloween

Everyone's (my) favourite time of year is almost here. Halloween! The perfect excuse for everyone to get dressed up and get messy. Not that anyone really needs an excuse anymore, but at least on Halloween there's candy. For those of you that are planning some sort of par-tay but find yourself stuck with what music to play because you think you're too cool to put on The Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack or The Rocky Horror Picture Show soundtrack, never fear, for I am here to help you out with the very first Hipster Halloween playlist! Songs from some of the coolest acts in music that you likely won't be embarrassed to play to your uber-cool "friends." Now, for the few normal people out there that don't mind the cheesy (aka awesome) Halloween music, don't worry, because I'll be showing some of that over the next couple of days.

Hipster Halloween 2010

Kasabian - Vlad the Impaler

See, Kasabian are hip. They're not content to call the Prince of Darkness (no, not Ozzy Osbourne) by his more fashionable, popular name. They're going with his birth name. That's pretty damn hip, right hipsters? I'm turning my sarcasm switch off to say that this is a great tune and one of the best that Kasabian have graced us with.

Kanye West ft. Jay-Z, Nicki Minaj, Rick Ross & Bon Iver - Monster

Nicki Minaj - "Ok first things first I'll eat your brains, then I'mma start rocking gold teeth and fangs, cause that's what a motherf***ing monster do, hairdresser from Milan that's the monster do, monster Giuseppe heel that's the monster shoe." Minaj is clearly a fan of the classic horror monsters.

Cat Power - The Werewolf

Because where there are vampires, there are werewolves. Underworld, Twilight, The Vampire Diaries... it's all about vampires fighting werewolves. So you need a werewolf song. But it's got to be hip. Who's more hip than Cat Power? Case closed.

The Wombats - Tokyo (Vampires & Wolves)

Did I not just tell you that where there are vampires, there are wereWolves?

Ladytron - Ghosts

Ghosts. When you see people dressed as them on Halloween, you can't help but think of them as lazy doucebags. Oh, you threw a sheet over yourself and cut some holes in it for eyes? A for effort!

Radiohead - Bodysnatchers

Invasion of the? Yeah, no, 'Bodysnatchers' really has nothing to do with that. But it's Radiohead and if there's one thing I've learnt, it's that no matter how bad a Radiohead song or album is, you've got to call it the best thing ever. That right there... that's hip my friends.

The HorrorPops - Walk Like A Zombie

Zombies are just the coolest. I'm considering being one for Halloween, so if you know how to create the illusion of a ripped off jaw without, you know, actually having it ripped off then let me know! Most of your "friends" won't know this song and there's nothing more hip than knowing music your "friends" don't.

Metric - Monster Hospital (MSTRKRFT Remix)

Remixes are hip, the song's about a hospital occupied by monsters. Win.

Bloc Party - Hunting For Witches

Where are all the witches at? I'm being serious, witches used to be everywhere. Currently, I can think of two; Bonnie on The Vampire Diaries and Bellatrix Lestrange in Harry Potter. Bellatrix is pretty awesome (but that's only because Helena Bonham Carter is awesome) but there's a serious lack of cool witches out there.

Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Skeletons

And we have ten songs. Not the world's biggest playlist, but that's like an hour. Your "friends" will be bored after an hour anyway and want to move onto somewhere a little more... hip? This post has been fun, it's combined some of my (everyone's) favourite things; music, Halloween and sarcasm. Stick around, because we'll be looking at some cheesy/awesome music you can bust out on Halloween too!