The Candy Shop #24

NEWS FLASH! Pop stars attack!

by Nayt Housman

A large number of us average non-celebrity folk seem to have an unusual obsession with the ins and outs of celebrity culture and never more so than when they GO CRAZY! Today I share my favourite moments when pop stars we all know and may or may not love go punching, bashing, knocking, slapping, shoving and high kicking their way into our hearts by keeping it real and showing us their 'vulnerable' side. After all they’re only human. Or are they?


Miss Piggy is and always will be one of the most influential DIVAs of our time and always looks so youthful. What’s her secret? KARATE! The Piggy Chop...

Miss Piggy is no ones Sunday morning breakfast and must never be taken for granted. She is a woman who controls her own destiny and her lips. She’s known to kiss and tell but 'Never On A Sunday'. 

Bjork wins the award for the most fierce and high-energy attack. I mean hot darn, I’d need a lie down after the first lash out but Bjork is a true athlete and she just keeps on wriggling and slapping up a storm. The Wildcat...

Bjork has always been a passionate performer and this performance was no different. She just has a lot of emotions and sometimes she’s a lil 'Violently Happy'.

Grace Jones has always been unapologetically DIVA and as long as things go her way, the waters will remain calm and the sailing will be smooth but OOOOOH girl, you had better not rock a queen’s boat! Hissy Fitting...

Forever a natural disaster (in the best kind of way) if you turn your back on her you better think about heading down to the storm shelter, coz honey she gon whip up one HELL of a 'Hurricane'.

Kanye West keeps upping the DIVA ante by pushing his celebrity weight around. Who’s his number one enemy? Cameras. Smashorama...

And…missed it by that much...

Kanye does not feel the love of the cameras in his face so he locks. them. DOWWWWN along with his 'Love Lockdown'.

Is Britney Spears queen of the pap attacks? She sure needs no blurb about her paparazzi attention or her umbrella-swinging prowess. I’d have done the same. I wish she’d rock the shaved head again. She used to be cool. Umbrellagate...

And this…The Masseur...

She may be great at foot massages; she’s bone-cracking good actually, even though her technique has some questionable elements but Brit is no 'Slave 4 U' regardless of what she says.

Finally…Amy Winehouse was born in the wrong era for sure. We know she loved the retro pop but I think she was far more suited to being a pirate wench (especially towards the end). The Keelhaul Brawl (I’m pretending she’s on a pirate ship)...

They tried to make her go to rehab but she said it best when she said 'You Know I’m No Good'

Why is it we love prying in on celebrity lives so much and why is it more exciting when we push them to breaking point? Is it because we worship them like demi-gods and when they show human elements it gives us our jollies? Do we get some kind of emotional angergasm? I’m not a shrink so I can’t answer that, but do I feel sorry for them? No…I desperately want to be a celebrity just so I can go off the rails and accidentally expose myself while kicking and scratching at some eager pap. YOU CAN’T MAKE ME GO TO REHAB!