The Candy Shop #22

'CRAPTASTICAL' Arrangements 

(Problems With My Musical Bowels)

by Nayt Housman

You know when you hear a song and at first you think wtf? But then you end up loving it? THAT is a craptastic song. Sometimes it will be one that simply lingers in your head all day even though it’s not something you’re really into, or one where the lyrics sound so naff you can’t imagine why they’d be used but then work their way into your daily vocabulary by word osmosis. They’re kind of like an infection of some kind, but an infection that leaves you better off than before…


Let the infecting begin.

Jack Jack Jackie 
by Joanne

Even though it’s not her song originally, Joanne surely made this one her own and it didn’t matter how bad her dancing was or really how bad the song was in general, it’s just one of the most catchy and infectious songs. The reason I’ll never escape it is randomly live brings a ‘Jack’ or ‘Jackie’ into my life and BAM, it’s in my head again… DAMN YOU JACK OR JACKIE!

Lola 
by The Kinks  

I’m going to be lynched by some for this but rhyming Lola and cherry cola = craptastic. Sometimes I wonder how such “crackers the clown” lyrics can work so well in a song and really who am I to argue? LA LA LA LA LOLA!

Robert De Niro’s Waiting 
by Bananarama

Bananarama are possibly one of the most craptastic bands of the 80’s with so many kitsch songs infecting our brains and getting lodged somewhere in our memory stores, never to be erased. Why is Robert De Niro waiting? Should I actually listen to the lyrics in each verse to find out? Too much effort… I’ll just sing along with the chorus.

Babooska 
by Kate Bush

Kate Bush is truly a music pioneer for the bizarre and quirky. Her most intriguing and alluring talent would have to be, not her singing, but rather her dancing. She twitches and glides, somehow turning her body into some kind of hypnotic idol. People have worshipped her for many years and will continue to do so as long as her hypnotic hips continue to be seen.

Hooting And Howling 
by Wild Beasts

When I first heard this song I was addicted! Singing like Liza Minelli with lyrics like “courting him in fisty-cuffing waltz” and “any rival who goes for our girls, will be left in thumb sucking terror” I knew they didn’t care about the “cool” factor of rock and were really just making some of the best story telling music I think I’ve ever heard but with more kitsch and kink than I could have ever imagined. CRAPTASTIGASM!

Zombie 
by The Cranberries

(Yes I did feature this in our 90s count down already, don’t judge) Zombie heads! That’s a sure fire way of piquing the interest of a 12yo boy. I LOVE ZOMBIES! I never actually knew this song was an anti war song referring to the IRA bombing in Cheshire. I just thought they were singing about bombing and killing zombies. Either way it works for me, and I think I drove my family nuts repeatedly singing “ZOHHHMBEH ZOHHHHMBEH-EH-EEEEH-EH-EEEEH-EH OHHH-OH-OHHH-OH!”

It’s Oh So Quiet 
by Bjork

I really do miss “Pop Bjork”, such amazing unhinged music sensibilities… Does that make sense? No? Good. Bjork often makes no sense but I can’t help but adore her. When I first heard It’s Oh So Quiet I effing hated it. Like HATED it, until I developed an overwhelming crush on a guy (I can’t even remember who anymore) and then it all made so much sense. An addiction was developed, and my love for Craptastic music evolved and took over. Bjork I blame you! Bjork I love you and thank you.


Of course there are so many Craptastic songs out there that have infected peoples brains since the inception of popular music so this is just a small sampler of my addiction. What’s your most Craptastic song? Who’s your most Craptastic band? Do you even succumb to the craptasticness of craptasticism? Are you a Craptasticite?

Top 100 Songs of the 1960s, #30 - 21

The Beatles: Not shown - the carefully concealed iPad behind the paper, on which the band reads It's My Kind of Scene.

Oh, hello there! It feels like forever since the last post in our amazing countdown of the best songs from the 60s. The Beatles and The Supremes have placed more than any other act so far, with four songs each representing the biggest band and girl group of the decade. You'll be seeing one of those acts again before today's post is through, but we kick off with The Lizard King, Jim Morrison and his amazing band... The Doors!

#30 - The End (1967)

by The Doors

"This is the end, beautiful friend." Sure, it goes for close to twelve minutes, but listening to 'The End' will be twelve of the most amazing minutes of your life. Morrison's Johnny Cash-like lyrics combine with some of the best psychedelic rock to create one of the most amazing tracks you'll ever have the pleasure of hearing. Just try to ignore the Oedipal freak out during the breakdown.

Top 100 Songs of the 1960s, #70 - 61



The Doors!


The Beatles vs. The Rolling Stones, the King of rock and roll, the first lady of soul and double the Jim Morrison. Is that enough to get you excited for the next ten songs in our 60s countdown? Yeah, I thought so.

#70 - Can't Help Falling In Love (1961)

by Elvis Presley

Yes, I also like UB40's cover. What of it? 

#69 - Ruby Tuesday (1967)

by The Rolling Stones

Who do you prefer, The Beatles or The Rolling Stones? That questions was to the 60s as 'Britney or Christina' was to the early 2000s and... um... 'Nicki Minaj or Lil' Kim' is to today. Of course, in each of these face-off's one of the acts is insanely popular while the other is their slightly less successful, trashier big sister. Try to guess who falls into each category. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. Anyway, enjoy 'Ruby Tuesday.'

Top 100 Songs of the 1970s, #70 - 61



David Bowie: No longer the 'Space Oddity.'


After a long day at work there's nothing like sitting back and getting your chill on to some great music. Listening to the next ten songs has definitely left me feeling more relaxed! Hopefully you'll feel the same. The Top 100 Songs of the 1970s countdown continues now... enjoy!

#70 - Rhiannon (1976)

by Fleetwood Mac

Would you stay if she promised you heaven?

Will you ever win?

Fleetwood Mac are the bomb. They define the classic tagline, 'Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll.' Their story puts Days of Our Lives to shame with all the fights, affairs and longing stares into the distance to end a scene. What separates them from the mass amount of rock stars that fade away is the quality of their music, which really is some of the best of all time. 'Rhiannon' marks their first appearance on the countdown and I can tell you what you already know... there's going to be a lot more.