10 and 1 - Matt's Music

A.K.A IF YOU A FLY GAL, GET YOUR NAILS DONE...

GET A PEDICURE, GET YOUR HAIR DID

by Matt Bond

Mixtapes are making a comeback! Or so I quickly read yesterday on an article title that showed up in my news feed on Facebook, sandwiched between a billion Caitlyn Jenner pieces. Something about USB sticks that look like cassette tapes the kids can pass around instead of meth. We apparently have an ice epidemic, so I'm just assuming kids are passing it around. But the mixtape is back and don't I know it. Heading off home at my parents' place on Monday, my Dad handed me an old CD that said 'Matt's Music'. Now, I'm not old-old (just old), so when I made mixtape playlist things, they were in the form of a burned CD. For the youngsters, there was no fire hazard involved. It wasn't a literal burning of the CD. After spending a couple of hours downloading eleven songs (twelve if you were really lucky), you could spend ten minutes copying them to a 700MB or one hour duration blank CD that you could play in your handy discman or CD player. If you're lost on any of that, ask your friend Siri to help you out.

I used to make many a mixtape with all the latest "jams", so I couldn't wait to find out what was on Matt's Music'. But when was it from? What would it tell me about the kind of music listener I was whatever year it was from? Would I be ashamed? Not likely. It had my name on it, so obviously it was going to be amazing. I got into my car, put the faded neon blue CD into the player and was treated to the familiar sounds of Fat Joe. "Put the fucking mic on! Mic is on." 'What's Luv?' Featuring Ashanti and Ja Rule. Three artists that don't seem to exist on this planet anymore. I was excited. I remembered all the words, especially the iconic and thought-provoking lines, "you say you gotta man and you're in love, but what's love got to do with a little menage?" The following selection of tracks would lead anyone who found 'Matt's Music' today to think Matt was one fly gal. The flyest. I don't really know what that means, but you'd hear it in songs all the time back then. R&B jams dominated the charts and they sure dominated my chosen tunes of the time. 

As there were indeed eleven songs making the cut on 'Matt's Music', the opportunity for a '10 and 1' presented itself. And since I was only mildly embarrassed by one of those tracks, that's what we'll be looking at. Ten songs from 2002 you'll be needing to hear right now and one you'd likely sooner forget. The flashback starts now... 

THE 10:

What's Luv

by Fat Joe ft. Ashanti and Ja Rule

When You Look At Me

by Christina Milian

Nasty Girl

by Destiny's Child

4 My People

by Missy Elliott

Without Me

by Eminem

What Would You Do?

by City High

Foolish

by Ashanti

Hot In Herre

by Nelly

U Got It Bad

by Usher

Just Like A Pill

by P!nk

THE ONE:

Dear Lie

by TLC

I love TLC as much as the next fly gal, but this has to be their worst single. The opening lyrics suggest they agree. "Dear Lie... you suck." Can't argue with that. I must have been caught up in the post-'No Scrubs' TLC hysteria that was sweeping the world way back when. Those were good times.


Alright... I can't keep up this ridiculous facade. I still love this song and I am ashamed but I don't care but I do. It wasn't even released in 2002. It's from 1999 and it still made its way onto a mixtape of mine three years later. I've got nothing...
 

Where Is My Mind? - Everyone Does It

Do you think Christina Aguilera and her boyfriend do it even with a driver in the car?

Everyone's Done It

by Jo Michelmore

Everyone does it. I've admitted it a million times on this here blog. I've admitted it a million times not on this here blog. Probably more than a million times. In fact, I quite happily do it, loudly. I don't care who's watching. Or listening.


Someone I know posted something on facebook about doing it in the car with the windows down and nearby roadworks, while Christina Aguilera was playing.


Everyone who can, does it, no matter how much you deny it. I was doing this the other day with someone and afterwards we started chatting about the next songs to do this to. Their opinions were a little different to mine, which was awkward, since we'd just done it. Once I started chatting about it, I realised how wide and varied everyone's tastes are. So I asked a few people I knew what they thought were the best songs to do this to and the answers I got were wide and varied and since we left off last week on a song I've done this lots of times to, that is LOTS of times, let's look at some songs some others like to do this to.

How appropriate. We left on The Flaming Lips and we start with Eternal Flame. I think this one would be a little depressing to do this with, but you know, as I say, each to their own.

From one girl group to another, this one intrigues me. Cause which bits do you like the best, the vocal gymnastics or the 'whoa' every line in the chorus? I mean, the 'whoa' would obviously be the easiest part while you're pre-occupied with other activities, but who's to say?

Interesting choice, right? Some would like your Eminems, some would prefer your old school Beastie Boys, but the person I was doing this with recently not only chooses Mr Beyonce; Jay-Z, but chooses the track with the Broadway sample in it. You really can't judge what turns people on, can you?

One more, because Jay-Z has sampled them, as has one of the people I asked this weird question to. I know I've done it to this band. Hasn't everyone?


There you go, four songs people like to sing along to while driving. You do know I'm talking about driving songs, right? Singing in the car? Everyone does it. Don't you? And yes, this is where is my mind, why? Where is your mind?


Next week? Maybe something a little simpler so your mind doesn't wander so much.

Where Is My Mind? - In The 90s, Of Course

 DJ Jazzy Jeff And The Fresh Prince And The Other White Guy didn't have the same ring, so someone had to go...

It's All About The 90s

by Jo Michelmore

Last week, I left you with Beyonce's 'Crazy In Love' in your head. That was a great song, right? It reminded me of Destiny's Child, which then reminded me of all the other 90s artists I loved, and while we've been compiling the best groups of the 90s countdown, I've been thinking a lot about music from the 90s. I must admit, when I think of the 90s, my decade is mostly about rock, but there were some great pop acts in the 90s too.

It's been an interesting thought process. On one hand, it was easy choosing who my favourite 90s groups were, some were definite, like, no questions asked, they had to be included. Others not so easy. Like for example; The Cranberries. I liked them, but did I love them? I couldn't decide. Luckily, Nayt could, so they made our top fifty. Tonight, inspired by our 90s group countdown which continues next week, I'm going to look at some 90s pop groups I might have included in my list....but didn't. So Beyonce and Destiny's Child led to another pop girl group...

I've talked about them a bazillion times before, because, just accept it, they were amazing. Beautiful, self assured, incredibly talented, a little more impressive than Destiny's Child ever were. There, I said it. I admitted it, I like En Vogue better than Destiny's Child. Whatever. Listen to that acapella! Amazing. The only thing I didn't like was that I always had that problem with 'Whattaman' that caught in my head days after I heard it, which reminded me of a song by another 90s pop group...

No, they were never in my picks of best groups of the 90s, but they would make my list of 'songs that stick the most'. I may or may not have experienced Hanson live sometime in the 90s as well. Yes, it's true. They lead me to another boy band I may or may not have seen live...

They didn't even get close to my list of best groups of the 90s, actually. But I felt like I should mention them, 'cause they were such a huge part of pop music then. The Backstreet Boys. That Howie guy? How did he ever make it? Who told him Howie was an acceptable pop star name? Seriously? Howie? No...and AJ. What does that stand for anyway? That reminds me of another guy from the 90s who had letters in his name....

LL Cool J. I know, not a group, but I still know what the LL stands for. Ladies Love Cool James. Why do I know that? Why has that stuck in my head like that? Surely that's taking up valuable brain space that should be filled with other things. Things like all the words to this...

Oh this is ridiculous. DJ Jazzy Jeff And The Fresh Prince? Why do I know the words to this song? Why? I know there's a better song from the 90s I must know all the words to....

Yes! Enough of the pop. I'll leave you with a band of the 90s that were SO close to making my list....but just missed the cut; Jane's Addiction. Now this is a song I'm happy to say I know ALL the words to and that's because I've never been caught stealing....

Well, we end on Jane's Addiction, but our 90s countdown continues on to number one soon and where will my mind take you next week? As usual, you'll have to wait and see...

It's All Coming Back To Me Now - Dear Valentine's Day

Well, maybe it's true, but I don't require it acknowledged on stuffed bear, thank you.

A Love Letter To Valentine's Day

by Jo Michelmore

Dear Valentine's Day,

Oh what a long and confusing relationship we've had. I'm sorry, but it's not me, it's you. No, wait, it's not you, it's me. I loved you once, but how things change. Do you remember when we first met? Do you remember how things were? I was so young, so innocent, you delivered a card to me and I was so excited. It was all things fun and cute and the first Valentine I'd ever received. I read it over and over again; I kept it in a drawer beside my bed. How innocent I was.

"This thing, called love, I just can't handle it,
This thing, called love, I must get around to it"

Crazy Little Thing Called Love (1980)

by Queen

 

Things changed as we grew up. Valentine's Day after Valentine's Day went by and you began to ignore me. Whatever had I done wrong? Was it me? Was it you? Nothing, you gave me nothing, but somehow I kept hanging on just waiting. I knew you'd eventually come to your senses. Flowers and balloons and chocolates, I knew one day they'd all be mine.

"Don't you want me baby? 

Don't you want me now?"

Don't You Want Me (1981)

by The Human League

 

I don't remember when I started to actually wonder if we'd ever be together again. It wasn't when you started seeing other people, but it was when you started flaunting it, throwing it my face. Flowers for that mean girl next door, flowers for that ugly girl upstairs, balloons for that cute boy that made my coffee in the morning. Why? Why Valentine's? What had I ever done to you?

"Somtimes I feel so insecure

And loves so distant and obscure"

All By Myself (1996)
by Celine Dion

 

Well, you know what? I picked myself up Valentine's Day. I worked out I didn't need you. I was better than you and anything you could offer. I worked out how to live without you. You, Valentine's, you couldn't keep me down. I knew who you were and I was happy to face you. You come around once a year and I ignore you everytime. I laugh in your face. I'm more woman than you could ever cope with.

"You thought that I'd be sad without you,

I laugh harder"

Survivor (2001)

by Destiny's Child

 

Now, VD, you mean nothing to me. I barely know you. You mean less than nothing. You're a footnote in a long, long fabulous book. No chocolate? Whatevs. No flowers? Why would I want a dead plant anyway? Yep, it's fine. Actually, you keep doing your thing, I'll keep doing mine. You can have all those fools that love you. They're not my kind of peeps anyway. In fact, let's not even facebook friend. Nope. Nothing.

"Do you have an opinion?
A mind of your own?
I thought you were special
I thought you should know"

Special (1998)

by Garbage

 

Except, you and I both know that's not completely true, is it? No matter how realistic I am, there's always that tiny little girl, waiting, hoping, maybe just maybe, once, you'll be back, someday. I'd take you back Valentine's. Just for a minute. I would of course be mortified and embarrassed and horrified, but if it happened, you know I'd let you walk right back in that door.

Then you know what I'd do? I'd slam that door in the back of your head and say;

"V Day? Thanks. Thanks. For. Nothing. Jerk."

"Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter"

Fighter (2006)
by Christina Aguilera

New Music Monday #36

Nuclear

by Destiny's Child

Album: Love Songs (2013)

Well this is... nice. And I suppose it's nice of me to say that this is nice. It's all just very nice and unexpected and slow-jam-y and they're singing lyrics about quantum physics and it's all just so nice. Which is really just me saying 'Nuclear' isn't good or bad. It's just nice. Unfortunately, when you're one of the most celebrated groups in the history of music, nice just doesn't cut it. Instead of the explosive comeback single to accompany a cash-grab compilation album that sends fans into a frenzy, demanding a full-blown reunion, we get this. Perhaps this is Beyonce's end game... the final nail in the Destiny's Child coffin. There's nothing wrong with that either. Beyonce, Kelly and Michelle have each found success individually (yes, even the underrated Michelle Williams... we break the dawn indeed, Michelle), moving further away from the Destiny's Child sound we all knew and loved. If nice is all they can offer as a unit, they're better off apart.

Matt Bond gives Nuclear two Lil' Kim's out of five...

Disintegration

by Monarchy ft. Dita Von Teese 

Album: TBA (2013) 

Monarchy are prepping their sophomore album and this is a very interesting way to re-introduce us to their sound. The Australian, London-based duo have teamed up with the first lady of Burlesque, Dita Von Teese for 'Disintegration'; the year's sexiest electronic track so far. "You and me, hold our breath and count to three," Von Teese purrs as the song begins alongside Andrew Armstrong's almost sinister beats. With one line I was sold. Ra Black's "save my love for you/saving my love for you" chorus is ready made for dance floors the world over. Hopefully this is the start of a huge year for Monarchy. 'Disintegration' shows they're off to an excellent start. 

Matt Bond gives Disintegration four Lady Gaga's out of five...  

 

Girls

by Santigold

Album: GIRLS - Volume 1: Music From The HBO Original Series (2013)

Any day you hear new Santigold is guaranteed to be a good day. Moving away from the sound of 2012's Master of My Make-Believe, 'Girls' sees Santi testing the rap waters for a TV show I've only seen one episode of... but I'd like to see more? Maybe. Everyone seems to love Girls. Admittedly this track doesn't come close to matching the brilliance of 'Disparate Youth' or 'Big Mouth,' but like I said, any day you hear new Santigold is a good day. 'Girls' isn't going to set the world on fire, but it will bring her some more deserved attention and the video is a winner. 

Matt Bond gives Girls three Eminem's out of five...

Suit and Tie

by Justin Timberlake

Album: The 20/20 Experience (2013)

 

If you're an artist like Justin Timberlake, you're going to want to publicise the fact you have a new single out, especially when it's seven years since your last release. However, if you're going to play the hype game, you're going to have to make sure the song is worth the hype. With the release of Suit and Tie, Justin gives us a retro inspired jam which starts slowly, heats up to mid-tempo, invites Jay-Z in about half way through and leaves you feeling satisfied but not amazed five and half minutes later. It's no 'Sexy Back', it's no 'My Love', it's not even a 'Cry Me A River' but it's solid and let's face it, it's Justin Timberlake. Is it worth the hype? As a song, I don't really think so, but I'll probably know all the words in a week's time, it's going to sell a lot anyway and it's going to be played over and over so you better get used to it, you're going to hear a lot of it.

  

Jo Michelmore gives Suit and Tie three Britney Spears' out of five...

NEW MUSIC VIDEO OF THE WEEK:

Lanterns

by Birds of Tokyo  

Album: March Fires (1 March, 2013)

I love when an Australian act releases a video that's had a bit of thought put into the cinematography of it all and 'Lanterns' is certainly a beautiful looking video. Birds of Tokyo are getting themselves on a bit of a roll with their videos. 'This Fire' was great and the clip for the empowering anthem that is 'Lanterns' might just be better. Did the opening shot remind anyone else of The Dark Knight? No. Just me. Great. 

Matt Bond gives the Lanterns video four Michael Hutchence's out of five...

10 and 1 - Lyrics That Make You Go Hmmmm



H. Duff: "What's that thing that happens when the light isn't off?"


Tuesday means it's '10 and 1' time! Since we've still got our first ever giveaway going on, I thought we'd look at some very questionable lyrics. Lyrics that are so inane, you'll be left wondering who would ever think they were a good idea at all. Ten of those and then one piece of excellent songwriting to remind you that there's still great lyrics out there. You probably know some that you want to use when entering our giveaway! Anywho, let's get the crapola out of the way first!

The 10:

So Yesterday

by Hilary Duff

If the light is off,

Then it isn't on.

Marge Simpson sums it up best, Duffster...

You're So Vain

by Carly Simon

You're so vain,

I bet you think this song is about you...

 You want to know why he thinks this song is about him Carly? Does anyone really need to explain it to you? You're singing a song to him AND about him. Not quite the smartest move. Don't you agree (don't you, don't you)? 

You Are So Beautiful

by Joe Cocker

You are so beautiful... to me.

This one has always left me a little baffled. Yes, it's innocent and sweet, but it's also a massive backhanded compliment. My dear, you're beautiful... but you're only beautiful to me. Everyone else thinks you're a dog. Is this just Cocker's attempt at getting laid easily? You know it. 

When You Wasn't Famous

by The Streets

So when you try to pull a girl, who is also famous too,

It feels just like when you wasn't famous.

I beg your pardon? No, seriously. What did you just say in a public forum? There's only so much abuse of the English language one can stand. 

A Thousand Miles

by Vanessa Carlton

If I could fall, into the sky,

Do you think time, would pass me by?

Look, I love this song as much as the next sixteen year old girl, but there's something about this line that just leaves me awfully confused. How does one fall into the sky? I don't think you can just fall into the sky, I think one has to be pushed... from a great height. On the way down, I don't think time would be passing you by, but I do assume that your life would flash before your eyes, right before you smashed into the ground. I just think it's wrong to assume that the natural laws of time and space will fly out the window automatically because you're falling into the sky. 

Life

by Des'ree

I'm a superstitious girl, I'm the worst in the world,

Never walk under the ladders, I keep a rabbit's tail.

If I believed you were trying to convey that you're the worst person in the world when it comes to understanding superstitious beliefs, I'd be willing to let this one go Des'ree. I'm not buying it though. I think you're trying to say you're the most superstitious girl in the world and thus, you should know that it's a rabbit's foot that one keeps for luck. Keeping a rabbit's tail just makes you a monster. Poor bunny. 

Favourite Damn Disease

by Nickelback

I love your pants around your feet, and I love the dirt that's on your knees, 

I like the way you still say please while you're looking up at me,

You're like my favourite damn disease.

Look, Chad. No. Just... no. You get disease ridden bj's out the back of some barn-like-bar down south. Good for you, but there's no need to put it in writing. Excuse me while I go vomit. 

Cater 2 U

by Destiny's Child

I'll keep it tight, I'll keep my figure right...

When you come home late tap me on my shoulder, I'll roll over...

Baby I heard you, I'm here to serve you,

Let me feed you, let me run your bathwater,

Whatever you desire, I'll aspire.

 

Want a foot rub? You want a manicure?

I would totally believe that Jay-Z is keen for a manicure every now and then, but other than that... way to go Beyonce and the other two! All they need is a tap on the shoulder and BAM... it's on. It's just too much from a group that preached the nature of being an independent woman. Waaaay too much. 

I Am...I Said

by Neil Diamond

I am, I said, to no one there,

And no one heard at all, not even the chair,

I am, I cried...

 Sweet, merciful Zeus. I've always assumed Neil Diamond lived in his own world, but I never would have thought that in the Diamond-verse there would be people-chair hybrids. 

Life

by Des'ree

I don't want to see a ghost,

It's the sign that I fear most,

I'd rather have a piece of toast,

Watch the evening news.

Ghost, most, toast, boast, coast, roast, host, post, bedpost... Des'ree was just lazy. She could have kept that rhyme going forever. It should have been a little more like this; I don't want to see a ghost, it's the sign that I fear most, I'd rather have a piece of toast, then I can have a boast, down by the coast, while I eat a lamb roast, I make an excellent host, afterwards I'll send some post and then... something to do with bedpost. 

And 1:

Both Sides Now

by Joni Mitchell

I've looked at life from both sides now,

From up and down and still somehow,

It's life's illusions I recall, I really don't know life at all.

That right there? That's great songwriting. 

10 and 1 - Best Girl Groups

Spice Girls: I can't wait for their Behind The Music episode.

Question... are there actually any girl groups out there in the music world right now? Destiny's Child will be out of the game for at least another ten years, when the allure of an instant money-making comeback tour will see the girls asking you to say their names once more. The Pussycat Dolls, with the exception of Nicole Scherzinger, all quit when they realised they were just Scherzinger's back-up dancers. Sugababes (version 4.0) don't even deserve to use the name anymore now that the three original members have been kicked out. Girls Aloud may never team-up again if Cheryl Cole lands that U.S. X-Factor judging gig (shame?). The Saturdays aren't even worth talking about. Girls Can't Catch failed miserably, but who didn't see that coming. Girls. Can't. Catch. If you thought a girl group with a name that puts down girls would take off, you're dense. I like that. So, question the second... when will we see the return of the girl group?


Now, it's time to start the week with a '10 and 1!' For those in the audience that fit into that 'dense' category of people I like so much, we're looking at girl groups. Duh. We're moving out of 'worst' territory for the 10, as we'll be looking at some awesome girl groups before finishing with one really, really (really) crappy one. Let's get to it!

Top 300 Songs of the 2000s, #190 - 181



Robbie Williams.


Before we get to our next ten songs in the countdown, I thought it would be my civil duty to make clear what you should already know... Lady Gaga's dropping her new track 'Born This Way' tomorrow. As you would know, this means that the Gagapocalypse is imminent. The world won't be able to handle what we're about to be hit with, so I just wanted to say thanks for reading, it's been a lot of fun! Yeah, I'm kidding, but only a little. This has been hyped up to be one of the biggest moments in the history of pop music and I've learnt not to be against my Queen, uh, I mean Lady Gaga. Moving right along, here's ten awesome songs from the 2000s...

#190 - Why Do You Love Me? (2005)

by Garbage

And I am not as pretty as those girls in magazines,

I am rotten to my core if they're to be believed...

Shirley... Shirley, Shirley, Shirley. Garbage managed to maintain their popularity throughout the 2000s but still ended up going on hiatus after the release of Bleed Like Me. But that's all about to change since they're reportedly back in the studio working on new material. This excites me. This excites me very, very much.

Top 200 Songs of the 1990s, #140 - 131

Aaaand we're back with another exciting edition of It's My Kind of Scene's countdown of the Top 200 songs of the 90s! Any guesses for what #1 will be yet? We've still got 139 songs to get through before we make our way to the end so let's keep things moving at a painfully average pace...

#140 - Lullaby (1998)

by Shawn Mullins

No, it's not called Rockabye. Trust me, I thought it was too. There's a nice story in 'Lullaby,' which is to say that it's actually a tragic tale of a girl jaded by her upbringing in LA... but it's really well written! Yet another one-hit wonder too good to ignore.

#139 - Professional Widow (1996)

by Tori Amos (Armand Van Helden Remix)

A credible source (Wikipedia) tells me that THE professional widow Tori speaks of is one Courntey Love. People I didn't think would hang out - Tori Amos & Courtney Love.

#138 - Torn (1997)

by Natalie Imbruglia

N-brugz had so much potential. 'Torn' was huge, even America accepted it and it was #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 Airplay charts for 11 weeks or something. Then she had to attempt to be all cool and creative and released 'That Day' which she couldn't even sing live. I remember hearing on the radio (B105 for those interested) how she had to re-do her performance at the ARIA's because she kept messing up the words. End rant. I blame Daniel Johns.

#137 - Bills, Bills, Bills (1999)

by Destiny's Child

Ah the 90s... when there were four members of Destiny's Child and Beyonce was still the star of the show. Kelly Rowland still gets the best line of the song, "you triflin', good for nothin' type of brotha." The two randoms would be kicked out soon enough, Michelle Williams would join and Destiny's Child would go on to become the highest selling girl group of the 2000s. 'Bills, Bills, Bill' was the first of many #1's on the US Billboard Hot 100.

#136 - Give It Away (1991)

by Red Hot Chili Peppers

Who else thinks Kiedis should go with the dreads again? No one? Good. Such a random video to 'Give It Away.' The song's fantastic, one of many in the Peppers' collection of banging tunes. Yeah, sorry, I said banging. I know, lame.

#135 - She's A Bitch (1999)

by Missy Elliott

Missy wanted to reclaim the word Bitch for the ladies and turn it into a source of empowerment. This is what I learnt when I did a report on Missy Elliott and gender issues in rap and hip-hop all the way back in 2007. Clearly I'm an expert... jealous? The video is brilliant and Missy remains the best female rapper in the game.... now release some new music woman!

#134 - Better Man (1994)

by Pearl Jam

#133 - Earth Song (1995)

by Michael Jackson

Jacko still had it here. Then came 'Blood on the Dancefloor' and it was all over red rover. 'Earth Song' is another example of how incredible music videos were in the 90s.

#132 - Only Happy When It Rains (1995)

by Garbage

Marry me Shirley!!! Please welcome Garbage to the countdown. Rest assured you'll be seeing more of them...

#132 - Slide (1998)

by Goo Goo Dolls

"Put your arms around me, what you feel is what you are, and what you are is beautiful, oh May, you want to get married, or run away?"