Where Is My Mind? - Well Not So Much Is...

Madonna has nothing to do with the following words. I just always loved this picture of her. 

This is MY blog post. Deal with it...

....But Where Has My Mind Been?

by Jo Michelmore

And so here we are, your final journey into wherever my mind is for 2013 and what a journey it's been. I remember when I first discussed with Matt the concept of wanting to write a new post, something with a little freedom that could take us anywhere where my thoughts took us. I remember having absolutely no idea where that might be. Now looking back, I love re-visiting the places I've been....


It started when I returned from Europe. You know I went to Eurovision this year right? Yes, I know you know, but do you reeeeeally know what that means? That means I saw this...

Yeah, I know, this was just another excuse for me to mention Eurovision, but as I've said many times this year, this is my post, deal with it. Regardless, after I returned from Europe we started this little journey into my thoughts and we started with The Pixies and the song that named it all...

...and then somehow my mind went into overdrive and I started talking about a boy I used to know and what I should have said to him all those years ago, and probably something I should say to a few other people I know right now...

...and then that bald guy led to thoughts of bald people which led to thoughts of Billy Corgan, of course, which led to thoughts about being a blogger and all it's benefits, of which there are many. Like the benefit of being able to tell everyone (hi four readers!) how much I don't like Coldplay...

...and then that song took me through a whole conversation about a dark mustard velveteen long sleeve top wearer. See? Don't you enjoy the places I've taken you. I never said they were great, I just said they were interesting and yes, dark mustard velveteen long sleeve tops ARE interesting, godamn it. Anyway, that dark mustard velveteen long sleeve top wearer then took me to my own personal routine, which is generally  -


I work, I blog, I work, I go to gigs, I blog, I eat out, I blog, I holiday, I work, I blog, I have a lot of friends to drink tea with, I blog, I bake, I blog, I sleep every now and then, I blog


and somehow that led me to someone I still adore...oh Jack, oh sigh....

and strangely someone with especially bad hair took me to my own hairstyle, which turned into someone else I adore with some very famous facial hair, Freddie Mercury, who sported a facial hair style loved and admired by our own K-Tizz...

...which somehow took us straight to the 90s and a group not so much known for their facial hair at the time...

...which obviously took me to dreams of California, and no one thinks of California without thinking of notoriously bad (plastic surgery, fake tans, Hollywood) and notoriously good (Miley Cyrus?) things...

...which took me straight to my very favourite title of any of my posts, ever. Ready? Let's relive it again.


'Haim, Not Ham'


C'mon! That's comedy genius! You know you laughed out loud! C'mon! I've been to all sorts of other places too and you've loved them all! Like you've loved Katie's Sizzle, Nayt's Candy Shop, Matt's 10 and 1's (yes, that Ke$ha Goes To Dinosaur Land was comic gold), glimpses into the life and drinking habits of Lou and her amazing reviews and my posts.  Regardless of where we've all taken you in 2013, thanks so much for reading (Mum). You, dear reader(s), you know what? You rule. Until next year, where I promise to take you to all sorts of fabulous and not so fabulous places...

It's All Coming Back To Me Now - Happy Birthday Freddie!

I'd say this was taken at one of Freddie's birthday parties, but who's to say? He could have worn that to the supermarket
...he was Freddie Mercury, after all.

Oh Freddie, How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Count The Ways

by Jo Michelmore

It might have been K-Tizz's birthday this week, but it was also someone else's. There's probably been thousands (millions? billions?) of people having birthdays this week, but I'm no statistician so let's just say there's two important birthdays this week. Both of them people I adore. One? K-Tizz. Two? Freddie Mercury.


We all know the legend of Freddie and let's be honest, I kind of hope that if he was still alive today, he'd have a 67th birthday party involving very short people with bowls of powder on their heads wandering around offering their goods to all who attended. You can read into that story what you will, but it's one of rocks greatest.


You know I love him. I mentioned him a couple of weeks ago over on Where Is My Mind? but maybe you don't know just how much I love him...Freddie, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

Number One - Killer Queen

There is no way I could possibly not love a man who could successfully wear a fur coat like that. Look, I've been vegetarian for a long time now, but seriously, that coat? Whatever that animal was, it would have died happy if it knew it was going to be swung around the shoulders of a man who managed to include references to Marie Antoinette, Moet et Chandon,  Kruschev, Kennedy, caviar and cigarettes all in one song. I haven't even mentioned gunpowder and gelatine. Freddie, you glorious wordsmith you.

Number Two - Radio Gaga

Radio Gaga. Lady Gaga. See what's happening there? Yes, this is the song that inspired the name of your favourite Stefani. This is why she called herself Lady Gaga as opposed to Lady Stefani Germanotta which doesn't quite have the same ring, does it? Some of the lyrics even describe some of Lady Gaga's delicious vacuous pop:


"All we hear is radio ga ga, radio blah blah, radio, what's new?"


It may also contain some lyrics that may possibly sum up a large portion of my own teenage years perfectly:


"I'd sit alone and watch your light, my only friend through teenage nights
And everything I had to know, I heard it on my radio"

 

Number Three - Don't Stop Me Now

Not only is this song probably in my top three Queen songs with it's incredible keys and harmonies, it also references rocket ships on the way to Mars, tigers defeating the laws of gravity, racing cars, Lady Godiva and sex machines about to explode. Is there anything not to love here? You're going to have to explain to me if there is, because I think this song is A-MAY-ZING.

Number Four - Under Pressure

So you just need to know this song features Freddie Mercury AND David Bowie. Both of them. At once.


David. Bowie.


Freddie. Mercury.


What? Don't get it? Want me to say it again?


David. Bowie.


Freddie. Mercury.


Well, skip through to 2:43. Go on, do it. Now tell me you don't get the goose bumps at Freddie begging; "why can't we give love one more chance?" then hear the crescendo with David pleading; "this is our last dance, this is our selves..." Music isn't always this good. Not convinced? Well, that song you probably know the first couple of lines to (regardless of your age or gender) that song 'Ice Ice Baby'? You know it; "stop collaborate and listen". It sampled this song. So there. See? Best song ever (maybe).

Number Five - Fat Bottomed Girls

I may or may not have an impressive derriere. I may or may not make the rockin’ world go round.

Number Six - Somebody To Love

Because there's nothing more simple than this.


"Can anybody find me somebody to love?"


 Happy Birthday Freddie and thanks. You were, you still are, the best.

Where Is My Mind? - Call Me Crazy...

 Call me crazy but...that Madonna? She crazy and she old!

Call Me Crazy, But...

by Jo Michelmore

The other day, while waiting for my usual morning coffee, my friend and I spotted a chalkboard outside a store nearby which was both intriguing and hilarious. The chalkboard had this written on it:


"Fun Fact! Every year 3000 people die from hippo attacks and only 6 die from shark attacks."


This was intriguing, because let's face it, that is an interesting fact, but would one call it fun? I don't think so. That's not fun at all. This was hilarious because my friend has this habit of coming up with (sometimes) interesting facts and presenting them with the sentence "FUN FACT!" first. Sometimes he even raises his index finger in excitement at said fun facts. I know I'm in for a treat when he does that. I'm probably going to learn something about the human digestive system or something not politically correct, but either way, I love his 'fun facts' and I like his 'unique' saying.


I have another friend who likes to present interesting facts as well, but his catchphrase is "did you know?" He is also known for another phrase I love, which is sometimes used in combination with his "did you know?" and that sentence is "DON'T BE STUPID" which is always said in a charmingly insulting way. I like his 'unique' sayings.


I have another friend who likes to say "fiddly diddly dee" followed by various obscenities I'm not going to mention on this blog. They may not be g-rated, but whenever they're said hilarity ensues. I like his 'unique' sayings.


This brings me to one of my own sayings, which is "call me crazy but...." followed by whatever I want, it's my phrase, goddamn it.


Most people I know respond with "ok, crazy" because everyone I know is a comedian, which brings me to where my mind is this week. Last week we left off on 'Crazy Kids' by Ke$ha and will.i.am, so that made me think about all the other songs I love about being a whole lot of crazy, like

It may not be my very favourite Queen song ever, but there's no way I wasn't going to include it in a list of crazy songs. In fact,it's Freddie Mercury's birthday in a couple of weeks, so you're going to be treated to reading about my adoration of him soon. Let me warn you, there's a lot of adoration. Call me crazy but I love that moustached Freddie guy....

It may not be my very favourite Madonna song either, but I have a did you know to say about Madonna so I had to include it. Are you ready? 'Did you know' Madonna is 54 years old? That's virtually 60! Madonna is like, 60 years old! She old. She real old. Maybe that should have been a fun fact. Oh whatever, they're not my sayings and either way, call me crazy, but I still love that crazy old Madonna woman...

This one could be my very favourite Patsy Cline song ever, but that's maybe because I don't know many of them. It is probably my favourite crazy song though. How can any get better that this? Are you crazy? This is the ultimate in crazy and country heartbreak and sometimes, every now and then, when I'm feeling a little crazy, I like to break this one out at karaoke. Yes I do. Call me crazy, but I have a (not so) secret love of country heartbreak and that means Ms Cline, of course....

This may not be my very favourite Gnarls Barkley song ever...no wait, I don't have a very favourite Gnarls Barkley song, probably because Gnarls Barkley involves that Cee Lo Green guy and well, I'm not the biggest fan of his. I hate it when this happens. I don't like liking a song when I don't like really like the artist so much. Call me crazy but that drives me crazy...! 

This may be my very favourite Beyonce song but it's not my favourite Jay-Z song, so that's confusing, isn't it? Goddamn, it's just so goddamn catchy. The clip has always annoyed me though, I just want to tell her to get up and stop rolling around the floor. Call me crazy, but there's a whole lot of bacteria on floors that are left there from people's awful, awful feet and everyone knows my irrational fear of feet, don't they? Oh, that's a whole other kind of crazy. Call me crazy, but you probably don't need to know about that part of crazy me....

Call me crazy, but where will my mind lead you next time? Well, that's an interesting question isn't it? You'll have to wait and see.
 

It's All Coming Back To Me Now - More Mo, Mo, Mo

Who doesn't love a vintage moustache?

More Mo, Mo, Mo

by Jo Michelmore

Since Katie started us off this week, let’s continue the theme, vintage style. Some people love them, some people hate them. Some people think they’re creepy; some people love the fact that they’re creepy. Some people can hold their own with one; some people look like something crawled out of their mouth and took up residence just below their nose. Some people grow them once a year for a charity event and some people actually raise money for said charity, which is nice. Some people like them right now because it seems to be a thing, a trend, a fashion one might say, some people like them right now because they always have, since the first time they were in, which was….sometime, I’m sure. Me? Take it or leave it, really, depends on the person sporting it, doesn’t it? I probably prefer one in conjunction with other facial hair, as in, not a lone outcrop of hair on ones lip, but as part of a forest of hair around one’s chin and cheeks and other parts of one’s face. Of course, it’s the moustache we speak of and many a musician has sported a moustache, some good, some not so good. Let’s start with…

Ace Of Spades

by Motorhead, 1980

Lemmy, king of metal to so many. Lemmy, King of facial hair to so many others. I dare not say anything bad about Lemmy, people love him and the people who love him REALLY love him and his moustache. I wouldn’t dare offend them, or him. That, and I just wanted an excuse to post the Ace Of Spades. Don’t tell me you haven’t found the opportunity to scream “THE ACE OF SPADES, THE ACE OF SPADES” at someone once in your life? No? Shame. You should work on that. Work on your moustache too. It’s probably not anywhere near as manly as Lemmy’s, who sports what I think is one of the man-liest moustaches in music. Whether that’s a good thing or not is up to you.

When Doves Cry

by Prince, 1984

I’m not going to say I don’t like Prince, because I do. I think he’s an incredibly talented man, with music, but one talent he doesn’t have? The ability to grow facial hair. You’re a funny little guy, aren’t you Prince? On one hand, such a musician, on the other, such a creep. That strange little line above your lip, it took until 1:57 in this clip to even tell if that was a moustache and not just the casting of shadow from your nose. “Dig if you will the picture, of you and I engaged in a kiss, the sweat of your body covers me, can you my darling, can you picture this?” No, Prince, no! I can’t picture that because it’s horrible and weird and creepy, like that thing on your face. Stop it.

I Want To Break Free

 by Freddie Mercury's Mo/Queen, 1984

This is one of my favourite clips of all time*. (*Not an exaggeration) There is possibly nothing** I love more than a man, dressed in a leather skirt with one dirty great big moustache on his face, doing household chores. (**Possibly an exaggeration.) My favourite Queen clip? This one, obviously. It’s got one of my favourite openings for a clip, ever, then Freddie gets his shirt off and his leather pants and double belt on and his hairy chest out, then, just when I think it can’t get any better, the interpretative dancing kicks in. All of this and Freddie sports one of the most famous moustaches in rock history. Love.

Hello

 by Lionel Richie, 1984

I know, three moustaches from 1984? Perhaps this was the height of moustache-ism. Perhaps this was when the moustache was the hottest. Who knows? Lionel knows. Hello Lionel, hello Lionel’s moustache. You can’t have one without the other. When you think of Lionel Richie, what first comes to mind? I know, me too; “hello, is it me you’re looking for?” No, not really Lionel, I’m not looking for you. I am looking for your stylist though, because they really need a slapping. Someone should have told you by now. The mo has got to go.

Learn To Fly

by Foo Fighters, 1999

Dave Grohl has sported facial hair of all descriptions in his time. Full beard, part beard, goatee, part goatee, part moustache, nude face. Never was his facial hair more moustache-y than in this clip, which is classic Foo. There’s the midi version of the song at the start, Dave getting hot for…himself, straight men in drag, a funny little story to go with it all and some of the finest moustaches of the late 90’s. This is one of the reasons I unashamedly love Dave Grohl and his Foos.

TKO

 by Le Tigre, 2004

JD Samson, you have the best moustache any woman in music has ever sported.

Dani California 

by Red Hot Chili Peppers, 2006

I’m going to admit something here. There have been times when I have thought of Anthony Keidis as one of the sexiest men in music. Sometimes. Covered in silver paint in Give It Away, all pensive like in My Friends, some of your various sock incidents, even with the blonde hair and looking a little worn in Otherside; you’ve been a hot man at times Anthony, even with your long face. I’d have gone there. But the moustache? What? What are you doing with your life? I’m sorry, I just don’t get it. I don’t like it. I still like you, but that hairy upperlip has got to go or there’s no chance for us Anthony. I’m sorry.

Johnny Depp...

...anytime, ever.

So, he’s not technically a musician, but he does play instruments. So he’s probably not that good at them, but neither are you. What? It’s Johnny Depp ok, and he’s sported the hottest moustache ever known to humanity*** (***not an exaggeration, whatsoever, at all). Anyway, this is what I’m writing, if I want to include Johnny Depp, I will. You love it, deal with it. You don’t love it? You can stop reading now. You’re not welcome here. For those still reading, Johnny is friends with one of my favourite musicians, Eddie Vedder. This makes me happy. Sometimes they appear on stage together. This makes me happy. Sometimes, Johnny is sporting a moustache when he does this. Oh stop it. Life doesn’t get better than this. Enjoy.

Top 25 Singers, #1 - Freddie Mercury

#1 - Freddie Mercury

#1 - Classic Rock Magazine's Greatest Singer in Rock.

#2 - MTV's 22 Greatest Voices in Music.

#18 - Rolling Stone's 100 Greatest Singers of All Time

... and most importantly, #1 on It's My Kind of Scene's Top 25 Singers. As the lead singer of Queen, Freddie Mercury gave us what is, in my humble opinion of course, the greatest voice in popular music. Have you ever heard someone pull off 'Bohemian Rhapsody' that isn't named Freddie Mercury? Didn't think so. His unique, operatic/rock vocals have never been matched, no matter who tries to imitate them *cough* Mika *cough*. Anywho, enjoy some excellent Freddie...

 

That's it for another countdown... starting very soon, you can look forward to checking out the Top 100 Songs of 2010... get excited!