The Candy Shop #28

Nayt. Skate. Heartbreak.

by Nayt Housman

I had a relationship that has been on and off since I was 12, but Friday night it all came to an end. I’ve blogged about this relationship before and decided to rekindle the love again. That’s right, I was in love with Roller Skating but our last date ended badly. This is what went down.


It was like old times, I arrived, put on my skates, my friends arrived and it was all “Xanadu” fantasy like.

We got rolling, it was freeing, like we’d never stopped. Music sounds better with you baby.

Then some skank got in the way, all up in my stopper. I had nowhere to go but dowwwwwwn. Bitch got in between us and it was a wreck.

I could only see one thing keep me from totally falling on my arse. A boob. I grabbed a boob. It didn’t go down well (just replace “pillow” in “everybody needs a bosom for a pillow” with “handle”).

My night was over. I was a mess my relationship had abruptly ended and I couldn’t even put my shoe on or walk.

I woke up Saturday morning; I knew something was dire, so off to the Accident and Emergency I went.

Diagnosis? Broken ankle and broken heart…

 The lesson learned? Love is a bloodsport...

So that’s it. This is my farewell to Roller Skating. It’s been a beautiful relationship but for all the happiness you brought me, you caused more pain. I loved you Roller Skating, but we can no longer be together. At least not until my ankle heals…