2012 Grammy Awards Predictions

Adele!

It's almost time for the music industry's night of nights... THE GRAMMYS! The golden gramophones will be handed out Sunday night (US time... y'all) in a billion categories, rewarding the best of the best in a million different genres. This is, of course, the best of the best according to... .... ... actually, I have no idea who decides. Old dudes? Young dudes? A mixture of old and young dudes? Aliens? I don't know. No, I do... it's the National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences. Duh. Who are they made up of? I'm going with the whole aliens thing again. Anyway, the show is going to feature what should be some fine performances from Adele, Foo Fighters, Bruno Mars, Katy Perry and Nicki Minaj. Random duets are a staple of the event and we can also expect to see Alicia Keys teaming with Bonnie Raitt, Tony Bennett and Carrie Underwood, as well as Glen Campbell ("Like a rhinestone cowboy!") and that guy from The Voice, Blake Shelton. Yeah. Classing up the joint will be Bruce Springsteen and Diana Krall. Stinking up the joint will be Chris Brown's "dance/electronica segment" with David Guetta, Deadmau5, Lil Wayne and the Foo Fighters. We'll forget about that future horror for a second and get to some sweet, sweet predictions!

Best Rap Album:

Kanye West and Jay-Z - Watch the Throne

Lil Wayne - Tha Carter IV

Lupe Fiasco - Lasers

Nicki Minaj - Pink Friday

Kanye West - My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

Double Kanye, Mr. Knowles, the biggest female name in rap since Missy Elliott, a convicted criminal slash multi-platinum selling rap superstar and Lupe Fiasco. Who's it going to be walking away with 'Best Rap Album?' Kanye West is the immediate choice. My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy was ineligible for last year's awards due to its release date which is a shame. It should really be in contention for 'Album of the Year' because of the quality, but might just have to settle for this. Hopefully we can all agree that it's infinitely better than Watch the Throne, a music reviewers wet dream and a music listeners nightmare. Still, the Grammy's love to reward Jay-Z so don't be surprised if it gets the nod. The only way Nicki Minaj walks away a winner is if twice the Kanye splits the vote.

Who will win: Kanye West and Jay-Z - Watch the Throne

Who should win: Kanye West - My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

Best Dance Recording:

Deadmau5 and Greta Svabo Bech - Raise Your Weapon

Duck Sauce - Barbra Streisand

David Guetta and Avicii - Sunshine

Robyn - Call Your Girlfriend

Skrillex - Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites

Swedish House Mafia - Save The World


Um... is it wrong if I say I really don't care? All I know is that Robyn wont win because her song is tolerable. Apparently I don't understand dance music anymore. 'Barbra Streisand' probably got played the most, so I'll just go with that.

Who will win: Duck Sauce - Barbra Streisand

Who should win: Robyn - Call Your Girlfriend

Best New Artist:

The Band Perry

Bon Iver

J. Cole

Nicki Minaj

Skrillex


Bon Iver nominated in the category of 'Best New Artist' in 2012. The Grammy's really need to take a look at the selection criteria for this award, stat! I don't even know who The Band Perry are, but I do know that Skrillex is "the sound of the future" and if that's what the future is going to sound like, I'd rather Skynet take over the world. Let's just let the robots win and be done with it. J. Cole... you're alright. So, if this award is actually going to reward someone for being the best new artist, the one artist who a) hit #1 on the US album charts, with over 400k records sold in the first week b) remained a constant presence within the top 10 and c) is actually new, they should really be giving this to Nicki Minaj. But they wont.

Who will win: Bon Iver

Who should win: Nicki Minaj

Song of the Year:

Kanye West - 'All of the Lights'

Mumford and Sons - 'The Cave'

Bruno Mars - 'Grenade'

Bon Iver - 'Holocene'

Adele - 'Rolling In The Deep'

This category has Adele in it. That's really all you need to know.

Who will win: Adele

Who should win: Adele

Record of the Year:

Adele - 'Rolling In The Deep'

Bon Iver - 'Holocene'

Bruno Mars - 'Grenade'

Mumford and Sons - 'The Cave'

Katy Perry - 'Firework'

This category has Adele in it. That's really all you need to know. Or is it? The addition of Katy Perry makes this interesting and throws a potential spanner in the works of an Adele clean sweep of the big three awards. Correct me if I'm wrong (and I probably am), but 'Song of the Year' rewards the writing team for crafting an excellent track. 'Record of the Year' rewards the artist for having a hit song. 'Rolling In The Deep' was the #1 song of 2011 in the USA, but Katy Perry had three entries in the end of year top 10. Two in the top 5? Adele is more than deserving of winning everything she's nominated for, but K. Pez might just steal this one.

Who will win: Katy Perry

Who should win: Adele

Album of the Year:

Adele - 21

Foo Fighters - Wasting Light

Lady Gaga - Born This Way

Bruno Mars - Doo-Wops and Hooligans

Rihanna - Loud

Here we have the main event. In one corner, Adele. She's got a big, booming voice and is currently sitting at the top of the US album charts for its nineteenth frame. In the other corner, you've got everyone else. Not even Lady Gaga's third consecutive 'Album of the Year' nomination is going to stop Adele.

Who will win: Adele

Who should win: Adele

Who are you backing for the 2012 Grammy Awards?!