Rant Lyfe: #TayforHottest100?

Don't let this be you when Taylor Swift makes the Hottest 100.

#TayforHottest100?

by Matt Bond

Come ‘Straya Day 2015, will we be shaking it off on the triple J Hottest 100 with Taylor Swift? It’s the big, annoying question of the moment. Some are sitting back and enjoying watching the world of passionate, “alternative” music fans burn. Some are begging triple J to make a stand and shut out music that hasn’t officially been played on its station, a Like A Version cover notwithstanding. Some are actually out there voting for ‘Shake It Off’ to find a place on this year’s countdown. Maybe you’re one of them. If you are, I say good for you. It’s meant to be a music democracy, right? So you exercise your right to choose as granted in Roe v Wade and… wait, that’s not right. But yeah, it’s your life. Do what you want with it.

The arguments for and against are piling up, just like the #tayforhottest100 posts clogging up my Facebook news feed. Everyone’s got an opinion. Amongst the ‘Nay Tay’ crowd, there’s the fact that T-Swizzle could deny an up and coming artist a highly coveted spot on the world’s bestest music countdown. This is true. She could also keep Hilltop Hoods’ ‘Cosby Sweater’ from the top spot or keep that random emo-ish metal band you’ve never heard of that seemingly has a passionate fanbase (from where and from whence?) from cracking the hundred. We’ve also got the DEATH TO POP MUSIC crowd rearing their heads. Just in case they haven’t checked the charts lately, that poorly named Hilltop Hoods track and Peking Duk’s amazing slices of music deliciousness that are bound for glory have been top 10 hits. And what’s the current #1 single on the ARIA Charts? Mark Ronson’s ‘Uptown Funk’, which features arguably the biggest solo male POP star in the world, Bruno Mars. But that’s ok, because Mark Ronson is tres indie cool, amirite?

Remember that time Macklemore topped the Hottest 100? Yeah, that sucked and it sucked hard. J x 3 listeners (those who tune in for the breakfast show) have been defending the Nova crowd’s takeover of that year as a celebration of, “alternative hip hop.” I shit you not, I actually saw a young guy call ‘Thrift Shop’ alternative hip hop. Oh, my sweet summer child. No. Pop music’s always had a place on the Hottest 100. Just not in the way that Lorde’s best friend looks set to crash the party this year. FYI, Kylie Minogue aka Princess of Pop also made the list. Three times. Madonna needs to stop aka Queen of Pop made the list. With ‘Music’. Like the pop-iest pop song of the time. But Taylor Swift? No way, man. She already gets played too much and she’s popular and her songs are so gosh darn catchy and she’s way prettier than me and I just want to be best friends with her. Where was I going with this? Let’s move on…

“Leave us alone and don’t ruin OUR day.” Our day? I’m sorry 19 year old that’s been listening to triple J for a year, what do you mean by “our” day? You’ve left this comment on Facebook seemingly claiming Australia day for you and your ilk, as if your taste in music is the be all/end all of music tastes. If enough people get their votes in and T-Baby makes the cut, it’s their day too and they can shake it as much as they like. Don’t have a cry about it. Move on with your life. A lot of us had to when Macklemore topped the list. All of us have to when a song we don’t like makes the countdown. Yes, yes… triple J is alternative, you say. But, come on. Really? Sia’s ‘Chandelier’ is going to make the countdown. So alternative right now. And now that I’ve found something else to throw in your faces… what’s the difference between Sia’s ‘Chandelier’ and Tay-Tay’s ‘Shake It Off’? Sia used to be all indie and shit isn’t a valid argument.

Anyway… this has been a hot mess. Just like the overblown controversy that’s surrounding Taylor Swift inevitably shaking it into the Hottest 100. The haters will hate (hate, hate, hate, hate), hell will not freeze over and life will continue as normal. If you can’t pull yourself out of bed the next day, it had better be because you’re hungover (‘Straya!) and not because your elitist world has come crashing down. Worse things have happened. Take a look at the world news section. And then take a good look at yourself in the mirror. And then slap yourself.  As a final note, just remember…

Uh, yes. And also...