BIG BOY'S GOTTA EAT
by Matt Bond
I'm not a huge fan of going to the gym. What am I a huge fan of? Eating cakes and pies. And since I eat A LOT of cakes and pies, I have to go to the gym. Now, entering a small room full of people with amazing bodies that can lift seventeen times more than I can, seemingly without breaking a sweat, doesn't exactly do wonders for my social anxiety. Especially when I'm already developing a sweaty brow just from walking up the stairs for a cardio warm-up (aka walking on the treadmill for five minutes). Really though, the main reason I go to the gym is to listen to music uninterrupted for an hour or so.
But it can't just be any old thing that you listen to when working out. If it's not fast paced and upbeat (or angry metal), you run the risk of giving into that temptation to throw those dumbbells down and drive on over to McDonald's and order a large quarter pounder meal, ten nuggets and a McFlurry. Listening to the right kind of music means you can at least finish your work out before going to Maccas. Yes, I know... I'm bad and I should feel bad. But I don't. Back to the music... you need to sweat it up to the right kind of music!
You may be a big fan of the same five songs that get played at your local YMCA and that's great. But after listening to a dance remix of Taylor Swift's 'I Knew You Were Trouble' for the five thousandth time, you might want to try something else. Tonight, I'll be sharing ten tracks that will give you a belief in your strength, stamina and overall gym prowess that's disproportionate to your actual abilities. As is the case with the '10 and 1', I'll be leaving you with one song you might want to keep out of the work out playlists. If I can save you from the stares of jocks and babes that I've endured in the past for certain music choices, I'll consider that a community service. Enjoy!
THE TEN:
Y.A.L.A
by M.I.A
Push
by The Presets
Music that will make you dance. Music that isn't by David Guetta and does not feature Akon. Music that isn't by LMFAO.
Not Afraid
by Eminem
The more Eminem, the better.
Change
by Deftones
Duality
by Slipknot
Let the anger build up inside with something a little heavier. Rage. Rage, rage, rage! On another note, Rage Against The Machine are also highly appropriate.
UFO (Van She Tech Remix)
by Sneaky Sound System
Judas
by Lady Gaga
All those pop songs you diss while trying to be cool to your friends will definitely come in handy. The first time I really listened to 'Wrecking Ball' was at the gym. And I did come in like a wrecking ball. Or something.
Come With Me
by Puff Daddy ft. Jimmy Page
Stronger
by Kanye West
Rap. Rap all the way. A bit of Puffy-Diddy-Daddy whatever and a whole lot of Kanye. These are people with huge egos. Let them inception some of their ego into your mind.
I Don't Think Now Is The Best Time
by Hans Zimmer
Music from the movies. Yes. Go for battle scenes and pretend your part of the action and you'll run faster with this weird look on your face like your fighting off pirates. I'm not joking, this works. Each track goes for like ten minutes too. So your workout is that much closer to being over!
THE ONE:
Beauty and The Beast
by Stevie Nicks
Now, I make no apologies for having this, um, lesser known (these days?) track from Stevie Nicks on my iPod. But you do not want a track like this blaring from your headphones as you vacantly stare into the distance. Someone is going to walk past and hear it. Someone is going to look at you weird. And the more you listen to Stevie's voice, the less you'll want to work out. You'll just want to go listen to more Stevie Nicks. Stevie Nicks is awesome. Actually, screw this... put more Stevie Nicks on your iPod! What were we talking about? The gym? Who needs the gym?
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