The Things I Will And The Things I Won't Miss
by Jo Michemore
Ah, Splendour. It's that time of year again. I remember you. How delightful that you've arrived again. The past couple of years, we (that is, Matt and I) here at It's My Kind Of Scene have brought you Splendour in the best way we know how; conversing, laughing, arguing and mocking all via text message in our infamous festival text review.
Remember that classic performance of The Smashing Pumpkins in 2012 and our text conversation about them?
Matt: It's just Billy Corgan and associates. Maybe the Veronicas will make a special appearance?
Jo: Ha! Get out of my head. I thought about that, but which one? They're both the same aren't they?
Matt: One's a robot. Duh!
Jo: Uh, yeah, but which one? Duh.
Matt: One of them is blonde again. I bet it's her.
Ok, maybe that conversation was nothing about Splendour and all about The Veronica's, but you got the privilege of reading our personal texts, so how dare you complain.
Well, this year, things are different. I'm not going to Splendour In The Grass and I'm not going to text Matt about it. This year, I chose Eurovision over Splendour. Yep. I did that. It was worth it. It was worth every single second of it. In Sweden, I didn't understand half of what was going on, I felt like it was all a dream and I was a little lightheaded by the end of it, which now that I think about it, is almost the same as Splendour, right?
Ok, I'll admit, there's a part of me that's a little upset I won't be in Byron Bay this year, running from stage to stage, watching intoxicated people dance in mud and I won't be eating any curly potatoes on sticks. That last bit is especially upsetting.
The things I won't miss are the things like wearing the same filthy gumboots for three days in a row, covered in whatever it is that makes up the substance of mud (who knows what actual liquids are mixed in there?) Yeah, I won't miss that.
I will miss seeing these guys though....
The things I won't miss involve standing in the middle of a field, in the middle of winter. Simple. It's cold in the middle of winter. I don't like being outside in the middle of winter. I like to be surrounded by walls and warmth and I like having a hot beverage close by.
I will miss seeing these girls though....
The things I won't miss involve some of the worst public bathroom facilities I've ever had the misfortune of having to use. I'm talking the entire cubicle, covered in liquids of all descriptions, no lights, no paper, no flushing and a smell I'll never be able to unsmell. I definitely won't miss that situation.
I will miss seeing these guys though....
The things I won't miss involve the annoying never ending sounds of some band you despise that you're forced to see in order to wait for the crowds to disperse so you can make your way to the front to see someone amazing. The incessant singalong of a song you hate and the adoration of people you wish you never knew existed, let alone had to have the experience of seeing live. Yeah, I won't miss that.
I will miss seeing these guys though....
The things I won't miss involve sleeping in a bed that's not your own. Your own bed is a special place and should always be appreciated. A three day festival is a real commitment. Whether it be camping at Splendour itself or staying in a strange room somewhere nearby, there's nothing, absolutely nothing as good as sleeping in your own bed. I'll be doing that this weekend.
I will miss seeing this girl though....
The things I won't miss involve the incredibly annoying lines. Lines for food, lines for beverages, lines for toilets. You have to plan your day around how long lines are and how long those 300 people in front of you are going to take to eat/drink/pee. You choose a line, you start to make it to the front and you hear your next choice on your must see list start playing in the next tent. Yeah, I won't miss that.
I will miss seeing these guys though....
The things I won't miss involve day three. The final day is always the hardest. You generally know it's going to be good, but the exhaustion is starting to kick in and you know at the end of the day it'll all be over and all you have to look forward to is another twelve months before it all happens again. Yeah, I won't miss day three.
I will miss seeing these guys though....
I will miss seeing these guys though....
One of the things I won't miss this year is this guy, one of the main reasons I wanted to attend. Frank Ocean unfortunately had to cancel the remainder of his Splendour sideshows and Splendour appearance at the last minute due to health reasons. Shame, he would have been awesome. On the upside, fingers crossed he'll come back sooner than later to play again....maybe?
There's a lot of things about the three day music festival I won't miss. There's a lot of things I will though. Sigh. We can't all have everything, can we? If you're there, what are you doing reading this? Go out, dance, watch, enjoy! If you're at home like me, enjoy a hot beverage, enjoy your own bed, enjoy your weekend and get on the internets and find a band playing at Splendour you never knew existed. You'll either love them or hate them and it'll be just like being there, but not. Either way, enjoy!
