And then we reach what should probably be one of my favourite letters of the alphabet. I'm not saying it's not top five, but we've not even made it halfway yet, so let's not get too excited. J. The tenth letter of the English alphabet and also the letter my own name starts with. I only have two letters in my name, so we really should celebrate one of them. The question is, if I was a pop star, who are the other J pop stars I would be sharing my letter with and in a parallel universe, could I actually be them?
I suppose in another universe I could be Ja Rule but I'm not so keen on jail terms, I can't imagine putting up with Bobby Brown for too long and really, I don't really have that much lovin' for thugs.
Well, I guess in another universe I could be Jessica Simpson except I actually have an understanding of how to wash a car, which side of the political fence I sit on and well, let's face it, as a lover of (most) things vintage, I like Nancy's version of this song better.
I suppose in another universe I could be Jay Z but I'm not the world's biggest fan of Beyonce and let's face it, I wouldn't have such an ego and would have given Alicia Keys more time in this song because I would have realised she was the one with all the talent.
Well, I guess in another universe I could be Jamiroquai, but the facts are I am a little too tall, hats actually look good on my head and well, I never wish to be known as 'the sex pest'.
I suppose I could be Jennifer Lopez in another universe 'cause I've already got the shape (she did booty so much better and long before ol' Kanye's wife) and while I have a friend who has referred to me as J-Lo, I most definitely would not make the mistake of hanging out with Pitbull once, let alone numerous times. Eeeew.
Of course, the most obvious one of all, in another universe I could be JoJo, after all, that's what a lot of people already know me as, one of my best friends went through a stage of answering the phone with a rendition of this song every time I called him for a while there and really, it is a catchy tune. Only one problem. When I'm a pop star, I have no plans on being such a one hit wonder. Just wait 'til my single drops in this universe...
I could use a whole bunch of comparisons to a whole bunch of bands that The Demon Parade always get compared to; bands like the Rolling Stones, The Dandy Warhols and the Stone Roses...but then you might get an idea that their new single 'Open Up Your Mind' is a fantastic 60's inspired psychadelic track with a rich, messy sound and vocals that makes their way into your mind and don't go away for days. Oh, wait, that's exactly what the single from these Melbourne darlings sounds like, which is awesome. Perhaps comparisons aren't always a bad thing then?
Jo Michelmore gives Open Up Your Mind four Michael Hutchence heads out of five...
Never In A Million Years
by Emma Birdsall
Album: (to be released 2013)
Emma Birdsall was a contestant on Australia's version of The Voice last year. Some people are going to stop reading after that sentence. Others are going to perservere and for those that do they'll be rewarded with a pleasant, smooth track; Emma's debut single from her first album to be released in July. Written by Josh Pyke and Lee Groves, she's got some impressive names to help her out and the result is a cute and catchy perfect first song to accentuate the almost jazz stylings of Emma's voice. It's the type of track that's screaming for a remix and it's a track that is a nice introduction to Ms. Birdsall. Those that stopped reading at the first sentence might regret that in a few months time.
Jo Michelmore gives Never In A Million Years three Supremes heads out of five...
Royals
by Lorde
EP: The Love Club (out now)
“Royals” is the single from singer-songwriter Ella Yelich-O’Connor’s
debut EP “The Love Club”. The 16 year old New Zealand songstress has
been celebrating the EP’s success after it reached #1 on the NZ charts
and #39 in Australia. The opening beat to “Royals” had me
intrigued. I found myself nodding along, anticipating what was to come. I
wasn’t disappointed. This song is the ultimate ear worm. And you
know what? That’s more than okay with me. I could listen to it over and
over again. Wait, scratch that. I HAVE been listening to it over and
over again!
There’s a simplistic genius to “Royals” – a catchy
beat, enchanting vocals and relatable lyrics. Initially it feels like
there’s a little sadness to the song. Ella aka Lorde tells us that she’s
never seen a diamond in the flesh and that she’s not proud of her
address. She goes on to poke fun at the popular music videos with their
Cristal and “tigers on a gold leash”. But the end of the song there’s a
sense of acceptance and defiance. I love this song, and I'm going to be bold and say that you will too. Ella
is due to release her next EP “Tennis Court” on July 22, and I can’t
wait to see what this talented young lady comes up with next.
Katie Langley gives Royals five Jay-Z heads out of five...
Up With The Anchor EP
by Andrew Swift and The Rattlesnake Choir (out now)
"How many times have we done this dance? You need your space, I'll understand. But everytime, you steal this heart of mine." I can't say I've heard Andrew Swift and The Rattlesnake Choir before, but with those snappy opening lines of 'The Dockland Lights' I was hooked. I'm a sucker for a good romantic rock song, which let me tell you isn't easy to pull off. It's only too easy to fall into cheesy/too cute territory when you've got lyrics like, "every love story needs to end with a smile, if you've lost your grin, I'll give you mine," but Melbourne's Andrew Swift charmingly pulls it off. A memorable way to kick off the Up With The Anchor EP that I'm sure will be a favourite track to many.
Next up is 'Refer To The Atlas,' which moves in a slightly bluesier direction and speaks to anyone that's ever wished they could just pull up stumps and blow this town. Which, let's be honest, is everyone. The chorus is likely to work its way into your head and have you singing along to, "my heart, my heart feels the need to sail away." Colin Dawson's work on the guitar stands out alongside Swift's final howls as the song comes to a close.
There's two sides to Andrew Swift that come out on the EP. The rocking leading man that's present in the first three songs and the more relaxed, acoustic singer-songwriter that shows up on the last two tracks, 'Restless Hearts' and 'Making The Nouveau Rich.' It's easy to like both sides and hopefully he lets both stick around for future releases. 'Making The Nouveau Rich' metaphorically knocked me off my feet, because the words told a story that eerily sounded like mine from not too long ago and just like with 'Refer To Atlas' I'm sure that will apply to many of us. Maybe you're amiss of a real life right now. Listen to 'Making The Nouveau Rich.' It's a great way to close us out and is the best example of Andrew Swift, fantastic vocalist and relatable songwriter. Well done, sir.
I hope I get to see the songs on Up With The Anchor performed live sometimes soon, because I can already tell that Andrew Swift and his Rattlesnake Choir band would put on one helluva show. Give this one a go, friends.
Matt Bond gives the Up With The Anchor EP four Michael Hutchence heads out of five...
NEW MUSIC VIDEO OF THE WEEK:
Tears Always Win
by Alicia Keys
Album: Girl on Fire (out now)
Just in case you forgot, Alicia Keys is stunningly beautiful. The song's not bad either.
Matt Bond gives the video for Tears Always Win three Britney heads out of five...
With Boy, Emma Louise proves herself to be one of the finest young
songwriters in this little country I live in. It’s pure pop beauty
that’s easy to get lost in, but then about half way through there’s a
little twist that keeps you interested and shows Emma Louise’s maturity
as a songstress, even though she’s only just past her teens. Can’t wait
to see what else she’s capable of in the future! (Jo Michelmore)
She's obviously dated a massive loser in the past. Which I'm ok with. If she's going to write music like 'Boy' she can date as many losers as she wants. Perhaps I'm being too harsh. Looking at the song from another perspective, this could be Louise singing about a friend or lover that is unable to realise the potential she sees in them. That's much more depressing, so let's go with that. (Matt Bond)
#59. Mercy Killer
by Bertie Blackman (AUS)
Wait hear while I polish my disguise.
I love the fact that this song is written about something Bertie did
once; deleting a text from someone else’s phone. I love the fact that
such a simple little act is so evil and I love the fact that Bertie
Blackman managed to write an entire catchy pop song about it. I love the
creepy retro inspired clip and I think I kinda love Bertie Blackman
because of all of these things. (Jo Michelmore)
The keys are sneaky, and make me want to tip-toe around and do sneaky things. (Katie Langley)
#58. Now
by Matt and Kim
Knives tend to get dull and round,
So let's cut this whole building down...
These two, Matt and Kim. They can keep doing what they're doing. It seems like nothing will stop them from creating a bigger sound with every new release. 'Now' is super fun pop music for indie geeks. Embrace your nerdiness. (Matt Bond)
At about 1 minute into this song I started to twirl my hair. And again
at 2:20. And 3:39. My neck is a little sore, but it was worth it. Super Mario, anyone? (Katie Langley)
I’ve always wanted to review a band where I could say “blah and blah”
from “such and such”, so I’m going to do it now. Matt and Kim from Matt
and Kim show us exactly how to live on this, the second single from
their fourth album, Lightning, which was released in October. It’s the
perfect song to put on when you’re getting ready to hit the streets on a
Friday night and it’s the perfect song to listen to really, really
loudly in the car. I love it. I kind of want to be Matt and Kim. I’m
thinking Matt and I should start a rival band and call ourselves Matt
and Jo. Then other people would refer to us as Matt and Jo from Matt and
Jo. It would be amazing. Like this song is. (Jo Michelmore)
Admit it... Kimbra's the best thing about 'Somebody That I Used to Know!'
A Feature for the Featured Artists
by Jo Michelmore
I love the concept of the featured artist. It’s especially great when two artists you love get together and make beautiful, beautiful sounds. Sometimes it doesn’t work out that way, actually sometimes it’s obvious someone is on someone else’s label and they both need and/or want publicity. That sucks. (Are you listening to me marketers, record company execs? If the song sucks, don’t bother, it does no one any favours.) I couldn’t write forever, so these are just a couple of my favourite songs that are nothing without the featured artist.
Jay-Z featuring Alicia Keys:
Empire State Of Mind (2009)
This is such a great song. So catchy. I saw Jay-Z live in 2010 and he was really entertaining, like an entertainer should be, not just a hip hop artist. Surprising, considering he was in a giant stadium, during daylight, supporting a mega stadium band, U2. Dues given, Jay –Z did a reasonable job. He played this song and it was one of the biggest crowd pleasers, for the crowd that was bothering to watch (that’s a problem being a support act, but that’s a whole other story). The best part of this song live? The bit the audience sung along with and danced to while negotiating the tiny stairs with hot dogs and trays of beverages on the way to their seats to wait for who they actually came to see; “These streets will make you feel brand new, big lights will inspire you, Let’s hear it for New York, New York, New York….” That’s the Alicia Keys part. That’s not Jay-Z singing that. You know what his part is? He does all the rap bits, the sometimes annoying and sometimes incomprehensible bits with sometimes slightly offensive lyrics. The bits you wish would hurry up so you could get to your sing along bit again. Yep. Think about it. Which bit is stuck in your head? Jay-Z’s first line? “I’ma up at Brooklyn, now I’m down in Tribeca….” Nope, its Alicia’s bit, isn’t it? ““New York, New York, New York….” Alicia, thanks for making an incredibly average song so darn catchy.
Fashion plays a huge part in making or breaking a star. We see "shocking" outfits all the time, as singers try to outdo (or outskank) each other. A musician's hairstyle can play as important a part as any outfit can, earning a world of praise or more scorn than one person should be able to handle. Since I spend far too much time looking at what's the 'best,' today we're going to focus on the worst. Get ready for ten of the worst hairstyles we've had the displeasure to witness, plus one good style to send you off happy. Enjoy!
The Ten:
The 'Crim-fro'
That's not going to help you get an insanity plea, Spector.
The 'Blonde-house'
Understandably, the bee-hive got heavy and Amy got rid of it. Going blonde and ratty, however, was not a good choice.
The 'Defying Gravity'
Jedward; inspiring a generation of young British boys to look like massive twats. Also, proof that you need no talent or intelligence to make it in the music industry.
The 'Limahl'
Top-deck mullet?
The 'Ambiguous Gender Emo'
Seriously, what was this chick thinking? What? Oh. It's a boy? Really? Either way it looks like an echidna.
The 'Mash-Up'
Alicia Keys proves that two negatives do not make a positive. Suck it nerds! But seriously, just pick one bad hairstyle next time...
The 'High-Maintenance Man'
Fine, I'll admit it... I'm just jealous my hair will never be as long or shiny as Whitesnake's. Plus I'll never have to waste seven hours of every day maintaining it. I don't know which one's the worst... five-way tie?
The 'Achy-Breaky Mullet'
If you combine Billy Ray's hair with the girl boy from Tokio Hotel, you get Limahl!
The 'Desperate Cry For Attention'
Since nothing else seems to be working, maybe Christina could try this style again... burrrrrn.
The 'I Kidnap Boys, Chain Them Up and Whip Them'
No. No, it's not good. It wasn't good in the 80s. It was never good in any way. This is awful. Awful, awful hair.
And 1:
The 'KISS'
Keep it simple, sluts.
Now that you know mine... what are your least favourite hairstyles in music?
Music is having a big week. It's night of nights, the Grammy Awards, saw Arcade Fire win Album of the Year, Lady Gaga debuts at #1 on the US Billboard Hot 100 with 'Born This Way,' the Foo Fighters released 'White Limo' and Radiohead are about to deliver their new album, The King of Limbs, on Saturday! But that's enough about the now, let's go back to the past and keep the countdown going!
#140 - Coin Operated Boy (2004)
by The Dresden Dolls
Who could ever, ever ask for more?
Love without complications galore...
#139 - With Every Heartbeart (2007)
by Kleerup and Robyn
Still I'm dying with every step I take,
But I don't look back...
#138 - Song 4 Mutya (Out of Control) (2007)
by Groove Armada ft. Mutya Buena
Sat there with some new girl what is this?
That's who has replaced me, what a diss...
#137 - Today Has Been Ok (2005)
by Emiliana Torrini
Friends tell me it's Spring, my window show the same,
Without you here the seasons pass me by...
#136 - Empire State of Mind (2009)
by Jay-Z ft. Alicia Keys
One hand in the air for the big city,
Street lights, big dreams, all lookin' pretty...
#135 - Breathe (2003)
by Blu Cantrell ft. Sean Paul
When love hurts, it won't work,
Maybe we need some time alone, we need to let it breathe...
#134 - A-Punk (2008)
by Vampire Weekend
Half of the ring lies here with me,
But the other half's at the bottom of the sea...
#133 - Golden Skanks (2007)
by Klaxons
Light touch my hands, in a dream of Golden skans from now on...
Happy Saturday boys and girls... is everyone sweating it up like I am right now? Don't answer that. All I'll say is that I'd rather be in one of the snowstorms in the USA. So nice. So cold. Anyway, how 'bout that countdown? Which countdown? This countdown! Ten more amazing songs from the 2000s, coming right up...
#270 - Take Your Mama (2004)
by Scissor Sisters
And if the music ain't good, well it's just too bad,
We're gonna sing along no matter what...
The quality of the Scissor Sisters' work may have declined with each release, but during 2004 they were one of the most critically celebrated bands in the world. No one can take that away from them.
