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SHE WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED
by Jo Michelmore
What a crap week for Australian fans of Madonna. First we wait in anticipation for her 2013 tour dates to be announced, then she tells us to work all year to save money to come and see her show, then she cancels any plans to play any shows in Australia. What’s going on Madge? Is this just another dull publicity stunt and you’ll announce dates later in the year? Have you realised your latest album isn’t the greatest and you can’t be bothered making your way to the southern hemisphere to promote something you know doesn’t really deserve much promotion? Is it all a bit more tiring than it used to be and you need a cup of tea and a nap? You are getting on, after all. Those fingerless gloves aren’t hiding anything. We know how old you are. You know what Madonna? It’s Vintage Thursday time and even though I thought I might focus on how fabulous you are, this week you’ve pissed me off. So, instead, let’s focus on some other divas of the past. Until next week, when I hear some song I love from American Life or Bedtime Stories or even that Ray Of Light and remember how much I liked you again. Until then Madonna, you suck.
Marilyn Monroe - Diamonds Are A Girls Best Friend, 1953
Madonna. The 1950’s were the decade you were born. Then there was Marilyn. Beautiful, intelligent, controversial, sexy, icon of fabulousness (Madonna only gets three of those things, you decide which). There’s nothing to be said that hasn’t already been said about Marilyn. Madonna’s been paying tribute/completely copying her for years. Madonna does ok, but Marilyn, there’s just something, there’s a reason you became the absolute star you were and your memory continues to be today. You had it, that quality that can’t be learnt. Madonna’s still trying.
